The spark has gone. I want to save my marriage!

[jellyjiggles]

Been married for 11 years. Two children, one at school and a 2 year old who still wakes up during the night. I'm a sahm not out of choice. I'm trying to find work. DH works long hours in a stressful job that he wants to move from. He's the main wage earner. Money is tight but we're ok if we're careful.

Our marriage is dying. We're both exhausted. He feels unappreciated and simply a source of cash. I feel drained, worn down and trapped at home. Our sex life is down to every 2 months if we're not exhausted which we usually are.

He loves me, finds me attract etc. I love him but I'm not sure I'm in love with him. We have date night every 6 weeks but were generally so tired we go out for an hour and come home to collapse.

We have family but my in laws have both being treated for cancer. My fil in bed.

[Hellionandfriends]

The book is life changing! There's also a Marie kondo support thread on MN. Thread 8 I think they are on

[Hellionandfriends]

Under house keeping section

[janetandroysdaughter]

Thank you Fish and Anilec.
Hope things get easier and more fun for you OP.

[NeedSpeed]

Jane fantastic post! I'm going through a very similar thing like OP. We are not communicating as well as you are OP, and have resorted to counselling. It is so tough, especially with no family support. From the outside, people looking in think we are doing fine, but we are not. We sleep in different beds and are exhausted. I'm hoping it's just a phase.

[jellyjiggles]

Well we seem to be doing a bit better. We had a chat last night and DH said he feels a lot happier just for talking. We're going to try and spend some time together every week or more if needed checking in with each other.

For me it's going to take a lot longer I think. I've done some great things over the last few days and aim to continue. I may even start on my wardrobe today but I'm afraid I'll throw out useful stuff.

As for our relationship that's the bit that's going to take time for me. I can't fake it. I'm not made that way but I'm hoping it'll come back.

[GotABitTricky]

" janetandroysdaughter Mon 03-Aug-15 16:51:22 " - post of the year so far!

Loads of great ideas on this thread.

[janetandroysdaughter]

Glad it's helpful. It helped us.