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Original poster

How long does a girl have to wait for a proposal?

31 replies

figgypud · 21/11/2006 21:35

Just want to rant really!

I've been with my DP for over 4 years now!
In that time loads of my friends have met and married and sometimes it really pees me off!

We have lived together for 2 1/2 years, got a morgage and our own house together 2 years ago and now have made what some might state is th ultimate commitment of a beautiful 22week old DD!
He even said when she was born we should get married so we'd all have the same surname I didn't realise thats was the meaning behind marriage!

He does talk about "when we get married lets do....." but doesn't ever seem like he's actually going to do it and I won't because I'm stubborn and oh so slightly traditional!
Oh and whlie I'm on the subject he's from the its just a piece of paper school, Tried telling him thats a load os rubbish!
There rant over! Thanks for listening feel so much better!
Lets just hope he doesn't see this........

or then again

OP posts:
NotSoupyOhNoNoNoShesOnABreak · 21/11/2006 21:39

It's the 21st century.

you ask him.

NotSoupyOhNoNoNoShesOnABreak · 21/11/2006 21:40

Did you read Yorkiegirl's thread about the perils of not being married but having children in the event that one of you dies?

beansprout · 21/11/2006 21:40

Why don't you ask him, or just raise it and talk about it?

Original poster
figgypud · 21/11/2006 21:40

NOOOOOOOO
I kinda think maybe! Then think NO I want him to do it ring in hand and all!
I did the chasing after him! he can do the proposing

OP posts:
Original poster
figgypud · 21/11/2006 21:42

I heard about that thread from a RL MNer (hi there) I'm sure she'll read this at some point with a wry smile!
But I couldn't find it!

OP posts:
Original poster
figgypud · 21/11/2006 21:43

We do talk about it and I've even said to him I want to get married!
He's just (sometimes annoyingly) laid back and blaze

OP posts:
NotSoupyOhNoNoNoShesOnABreak · 21/11/2006 21:43

it's here

Mumpbump · 21/11/2006 21:43

When my dh and I started talking tentatively about marriage, I told him that if I ever got to the point where I wanted to get married, I wasn't going to hang around waiting for him. He proposed on Christmas Day because the following year was a leap year and he was worried I might beat him to it. You could try that - I think men really want to do the "manly" thing anyway.

fannyannie · 21/11/2006 21:44

well DH proposed 6 weeks after we met for the first time

Original poster
figgypud · 21/11/2006 21:45

when is the nex leap year?
I'll humiliate him and do it somewhere really public....He'd hate that!

Thanks for the link BTW!

OP posts:
Original poster
figgypud · 21/11/2006 22:04

Have sent him an e-mail at work (he's on night shifts at the mo)
with a link to yorkiegirls thread

OP posts:
Gemmitygem · 21/11/2006 22:50

You're doing well: mine took 7 years!

Original poster
figgypud · 21/11/2006 22:51

GOSH I'm too impatient to wait that long!
Did you have any DC before you got married!?

OP posts:
Mumpbump · 22/11/2006 10:04

Next leap year will be 2008!

lou33 · 22/11/2006 10:06

next time he talks about marriage say to him that he has to ask you first

Gemmitygem · 22/11/2006 10:53

no, got married last July, son born 6 weeks ago.

a lot of my female friends have the same prob, and gentle nagging over a long period has usually done the trick!

NotQuiteCockney · 22/11/2006 10:56

I really don't get the whole "proposal" thing. Getting married is like any other big decision ... you sit down together and discuss it. Do we expect men to do this stupid on-one-knee thing for any other decisions?

Do they have to get down on one knee and ask you to send your child to school? Or ask you to get pregnant? Or ask you to move in together?

nailpolish · 22/11/2006 10:57

its called romance nqc

NotQuiteCockney · 22/11/2006 11:04

It's weird.

Romance is all about knights wanting to shag the lady of the manor, but not being able to, so talking a lot of shite instead.

slug · 22/11/2006 11:14

If it's 'just a piece of paper' to him, then why is he so reluctant to do it? It doesn't say much about his committment to you or your children.

Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with living together and not being married if that's what you both want. I only got married because the Home Office insisted . But there are advantages to making it legal.

NotQuiteCockney · 22/11/2006 11:32

If it's "just a piece of paper", and he's not that interested (but not opposed), why should he be the one to get down on one knee etc etc?

foxinsocks · 22/11/2006 11:36

lol slug

I have to agree - if you really want to do it, then you propose.

Marriage isn't the be all and end all to everyone and perhaps he doesn't feel the need to show you his love and committment that way!

If you want the big day, I think you may have to grab the bull by the horns so to speak.

tribpot · 22/11/2006 11:43

We talked about getting married, agreed it was A Good Idea, went off and bought a ring together, and then dh 'proposed' in the bar in Copenhagen Airport where we first met Went down on one knee and everything, it was dead embarrassing.

So you can have both, but really - if you want to get married, just get on with asking him, if it's that important just pretend next Feb 28 is actually a leap day.

Original poster
figgypud · 22/11/2006 12:27

ok ladies calm down! WOAH didn't expect this kind of reaction!
I don't think its that he doesn't want to as such more that he doesn't feel we need to do it to know we love each other!
I just feel its important for legal reasons and think its kinda romantic! Just cos its the noughties doesn't mean that romance has to die!

OP posts:
slug · 22/11/2006 12:45

Romance ain't worth diddly squat when he dies and you can't claim on his pension.

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