How long does a girl have to wait for a proposal?

[figgypud]

Just want to rant really!

I've been with my DP for over 4 years now!
In that time loads of my friends have met and married and sometimes it really pees me off!

We have lived together for 2 1/2 years, got a morgage and our own house together 2 years ago and now have made what some might state is th ultimate commitment of a beautiful 22week old DD!
He even said when she was born we should get married so we'd all have the same surname I didn't realise thats was the meaning behind marriage!

He does talk about "when we get married lets do....." but doesn't ever seem like he's actually going to do it and I won't because I'm stubborn and oh so slightly traditional!
Oh and whlie I'm on the subject he's from the its just a piece of paper school, Tried telling him thats a load os rubbish!
There rant over! Thanks for listening feel so much better!
Lets just hope he doesn't see this........

or then again

Agree completely with NCQ on this. This thread has made me feel quite depressed actually.

figgypud, you might have to make some compromise here. I was like you - with my boyfriend for 4 years. We didn't live together (or even within 150 miles of each other for most of thst time!) and we didn't have children or a mortgage, but I knew he was the one for me and he used to talk about "when we are married" without ever actually getting round to asking me. I wanted to be surprised with a ring and a bended knee proposal too, but in the end I had to settle for a very unromantic "Right well, shall we do it then?" and choosing the ring together later.

My advice would be to sit down with him and talk it through like a business proposal. IME men respond better to that approach.

but when you've already talked lots about 'when we get married' then a proposal is completely by-passed! You know that you both intend to get married, so a proposal would be cringeworthy and embarrassing if you ask me, like play-acting - makes me shudder to think of it! If marriage had never been mentioned and a proposal was a genuine question requiring an answer but otherwise - I'm sorry, it has to be said, you should be a bit more grown up about it!

Just talk to him about setting a date and get on with DOING it!

"I don't think its that he doesn't want to as such more that he doesn't feel we need to do it to know we love each other!"

An idealistic notion to say the least, he needs to get wise to the practicalities of remaining unmarried. He should not leave you in such a precarious financial mess.

I would ask him why he is so reluctant to get married; it is not just a piece of paper if he thinks that. I think he's scared frankly of marriage.

I don't think he realises what a complete and utter financial mess he will leave you and child in if he dies and you as a couple are unmarried. As it stands you have no rights legally - what's his is his, what's yours is yours and anything else is divided up. You also, as his partner, are NOT regarded as next of kin so you will have no say re treatment options in hospital. He needs to realise that.

At the very least a properly drawn up will done by a Solicitor should be drawn up for both of you.

The other essential matter for unmarried couples to consider is that, as they are not related, unless they make a Will in favour of their other half, then, should they die, their estate will pass to their immediate family under the intestacy rules, rather than to their partner.

An unmarried partner will not even be entitled to take out a grant of letters of administration and administer their partner's estate, as they are not a relative of the deceased.

If the relationship is a serious one, then one of the first things they should do is to each make a Will. A Will can always been amended, changed or added to, but if there is no document at all, then the deceased's estate will simply pass to the appropriate family members or even the Government, rather than to the person's partner.

yes, FFS - propose to him!