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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

why oh why..

31 replies

vikingpooboat · 22/07/2015 22:35

Single for the past year, got texting someone I know through a friend, all going well and arranged to meet for a drink this Saturday and then he goes and sends me a picture of his penis! Why do blokes think this is ok or a turn on? It's the fuglyiest penis I've seen in a long while (only one I've seen in a while ) and have now decided against meeting him. and no there was no sexting or me asking for any pics.just normal chat then bam..here's my penis

OP posts:

Jollyphonics · 22/07/2015 22:38

Was it definitely sent by him, not one of his friends messing about with his phone?

Newtobecomingamum · 22/07/2015 22:39

Oh gosh def a no no. I had a couple if experiences of this prior to meeting hubby. Instant turn off and actually probably a god send as better to know what they are like now before it goes any further!! Can you imagine how many women he's sent that pic too lol!
No normal guy is going to send pics like that under your current circumstances.

NameChanger54321 · 22/07/2015 22:39

I have no idea!!! They're not exactly nice looking bits of flesh, are they?

Once guy I thought was nice when OLD said he'd send me some pics of his day out. Cue pic of him, pic of him on beach, pic of him holding drink, BAM PIC OF HUGE PENIS.

I swear, if I'd gone near that thing, I'd be having reconstructive surgery on my lung or something!!! It was longer than my leg but thinner than my finger.

That scared me off.

crustsaway · 22/07/2015 22:41

Because he's a twat. He has no idea whatsoever how to treat a woman and delete/block.

cozietoesie · 22/07/2015 22:41

Beats me.

fourflights · 22/07/2015 22:46

Because some women like it, and they're the ones he wants to meet.

Now he doesn't have to waste his time buying you a drink.

sebsmummy1 · 22/07/2015 22:47

Did he say anything when you texted him 'thanks but no thanks?'

pictish · 22/07/2015 22:48

What women like it? Seriously, has a cock shot ever succeeded in the history of smartphones?

NameChanger54321 · 22/07/2015 22:49

I think those people on Jeremy Kyle are the ones who like it.

SelfLoathing · 22/07/2015 23:02

It's really immature. An educated adult man would realise that women are less visual than men (plus penises are less physically attractive than breasts!) so a random penis is not in and of itself a turn on.

I'd ask him the question you asked us "why did you send me this?" and see what he says (Before you dump him brutally).

Cabrinha · 22/07/2015 23:09

This woman likes it
But not a propos of nothing! And only in a ready for action state
The guy who was on hols - if we'd already reached a level of flirtation, then even if it wasn't a flirty conversation, then "beach / bar / surprise cock!!!"would make me giggle, and possibly turn me on.
I'm a woman but can be quite visual. I also like to laugh, and done right I can find it funny.
Even when a pen is itself is not aesthetically all that, if it's a live shot and my boyfriend is hard, I like that.

So - yes, some women like a cock shot. Interestingly, 3 short burst of OLD, over 100 messages (not boasting - 90 on the first day (x3) and we all know that's the sharks!) and I never had a single cock shot! Everyone else seems to, the one woman who likes them, doesn't

Cabrinha · 22/07/2015 23:11

In this case, with NO reason to send it, I would definitely ask why, politely. Especially if it was flaccid
I could at least guess that a hard one might be presented as a come on.

SelfLoathing · 22/07/2015 23:23

if it's a live shot and my boyfriend is hard, I like that.

Yes - sure but I think that for most women, it's only a turn on if it is attached to someone you are already into/ have a sexual and/or emotional connection with.

As in - put any man in front of a photo of a reasonably attractive naked woman who is a stranger and he is likely to be aroused. A woman faced with a photo of a cock of a stranger will in 90% or so of cases not be turned on by that visual image in the abstract with nothing more (eg. emotional/sexual engagement or sexually arousing words). A bare image is less likely to do it for a woman than for a man - and a mature adult man should know this.

crustsaway · 22/07/2015 23:30

Why on earth would you, as a woman, like a cockshot when just starting to speak to a man? It smacks of total disrespect.

Cabrinha · 22/07/2015 23:30

It's not "with nothing more" though, IMO. It's with the promise of it being out to good use. I don't get aroused by a picture of a random cock, no - in that, if I opened a porn magazine I wouldn't stir at all. But if it was sent deliberately to me by a real person, then that opening up of the idea that we might have sex - that can do it for me.

I doubt I'm the only one, though I may be a majority. But I suspect men that send them do get a certain hit rate. Even if it's just an ice breaking "put that away, you over sexed idiot".

I wouldn't need much preamble to be accepting of a shot (though as I say - none of my OLD suitors have!). It does sound like OP's situation was totally weird though!

Original poster

vikingpooboat · 22/07/2015 23:31

It was hard and he said something along the lines of this is what happens to me when I think of you , I asked him why he thought it appropriate to send a dick pic when we haven't even as much as kissed yet and politely told him to piss off

Agree with pp I'm all for rude pics from someone when you've actually been acquainted with their penis already and my ex regularly sent me them which I enjoyed. ( and he had a nice penis)

OP posts:

crustsaway · 22/07/2015 23:32

Getting to that point on line to me is also very bizarre. How strange. Why on earth would you do that?

Cabrinha · 22/07/2015 23:34

I don't necessarily find it disrespectful at all. I don't disagree that it can be.
The guy I'm currently dating (OLD) didn't send me one, but looking back at our initial evening of chat (which turned sexual quickly) I don't think I would have found it disrespectful.

I'm not arguing that the OP is wrong - it sounds v random and with no context. And even if she'd been flirting madly, no-one has to like a cock shot.

But I thought some people might find it an interesting addition to the discussion, to hear the view of someone who - in the right context - thinks they're funny and sometimes sexy.

crustsaway · 22/07/2015 23:38

why on earth wouldnt you find it disrespectful then cabrinha? a stranger sending a picture of his cock to you? not sure what a right context would be here? unless you're wanting a shag yourself with no attachments then fine.

crustsaway · 22/07/2015 23:40

Even then, im also not sure that he would help with the washing up or clean the toilet when necessary.

Enoughalreadyyou · 22/07/2015 23:41

So he sends a dic pic. Sign of the times. Men act like teenagers. No understanding. Dump.

Cabrinha · 22/07/2015 23:41

crustsaway I can't give you a more convincing answer than "because sometimes it feels right".

I had been religious about not flirting with someone I hadn't met, when doing OLD, rebuffed it in others - either ignoring or telling them to go easy.

With current man, I looked back over our initial online conversation and was genuinely shocked how quickly our convo had turned sexual (verbal, no cockshot!)
Just... a big verbal spark.

FWIW, we found out the day before we met that he was being deployed (forces). We had 2 fantastic dates with crazy sparks flying, but both expressed a wish not to have sex because we didn't want to be intimate before a 3 month absence, as the absence could end things and we didn't want a one night stand. Though we both said we'd had those and made no moral judgement. Just: not what we were looking for.

You can go 0-60 online because it feels right, and slow down again!

But 99% of the time, even if the online stuff is working for you, I think it's a bad idea to get sexual before you meet!

I told him it was going to be excruciating if one of us didn't like the other in person. He just said "maybe we won't, but I'll still look bank and think this has been one hell of an amazing week".

Sorry for the hijack.
Just: context is all.

CatMilkMan · 22/07/2015 23:43

I have been seriously surprised at how many of my friends think women will be impressed by dick pics.
I guess some guys think ladies want dick pics as much as we want to see boobs.

Cabrinha · 22/07/2015 23:45

Why does the shag I want have to be without attachments?

I only wanted an attached shag.
Hence in the case I described above, we're waiting

But the fact that he's the kind of guy and I'm the kind of woman that might have an unattached shag, doesn't put me off.

I didn't actually get a cock shot from him!! I'm just saying, I can see how it would have fitted into our conversation before we met, and I'd have found it funny. And making me laugh is a good way towards making me fall for you

crustsaway · 22/07/2015 23:49

so you were the exception then cabrinha, there always is one or two. not the norm though ay.

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