again !!!!

[shaniatwain]

I've been seeing a man for ten weeks now. He was the one who chased me think presents , meals etc load of compliments .. All goi g well he met my daughter who is five.. All good no problems but he has a daughter and a son that he didn't introduce me too.. I didn't push it as he only see s then every second weekend ...this in itself not an issue but he didn't want to see me this evening said he was too tired .. Fine then I said what about the weekend? Fri and guess what he had plans maybe .. Just feel that he is pulling away . I am right aren't i ...

Not at all you're doing it right folkgirl wanting to give someone your best self is a considerate response which when put through the prism of neediness and insecurity can come off as not wanting to spend time with them. They need to adjust their perspective. If a friend said she was tired and didn't want to come out one night would we assume she no longer wanted to associate us or was not invested in our friendship? No we wouldn't. Overreaction in the early stages must be the number one killer or potentially good blossoming relationships. And the whole "all or nothing" ethos is quite frankly a bit scary. What you are saying with this is "make me your whole life and I'll make you mine or nothing" from day one. That's fricking terrifying

I've skipped through this so I might have missed some info but is it possible he's married?

No roux he def is not married

I will update you all

I maintain that about the tiredness. I can honestly say I have never cancelled anything in my life through 'tiredness.' If a friend cancelled with that excuse I would also be highly offended.

We all get tired but if you have arranged something and want to go, you make the effort and do it,

When I am in a relationship and have started to feel I would like a night in on my own instead of seeing them, it's the rocky road for me,

The fact that you are ready to meet his children or even he is ready for you to meet his children is irrelevant. Its if the Children are ready to meet you. Ive never understood some peoples need for constant contact.

Sometimes im shattered and don't want to be contacting anyone. Sometimes I have plans, hobbies or interests. None of these (for me) would be about my partner. Even in the best long lasting relationships sometimes I just want to do my own thing. Taking offence at that for me would be a red flag.

learn I guess that's where we are all different then.

I have cancelled things with friends through tiredness, and had friends cancel. I've never thought anything of it!

I also think it's healthy to plan some time on your own, too. And yes, sometimes I would rather have a night in on my own than see the person I'm in a relationship with.

I work hard and have hobboes amd friends. Sometimes I just want to switch off. It's no reflection on them.

To be honest I have cancelled a couple of dates with him due to me feeling tired.. That in in it self does not bother me. I think it was the fact that he had met my children and I not his.. Also I may have been a little hormonal. I had a nasty experience last year with a guy I had been dating when bang out of the blue I got a dumping text .. This had never happened before and it did upset me..
Turns out that guy has major issues and has been single for years..
Anyway he's has said he wants to see me tonight. I will see him discuss what it is he wants and I will tell him what I want..
Am making an effort to see more of my friends and exercise as I enjoy that.. And yes I have realised I need to slow down and chill right out !!