Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Personality or Passion???????

46 replies

fairyfly · 07/05/2004 10:21

Say you were single and had just been through a painful emotional year because of the split. Then you meet a man, who you get on with but not fantastically well, hes not your total match. The thing is you fancy the pants off him and he is great in bed. Do you worry about the fact there may be awakward silences if you spend too much time with him. Do you worry you may be leading him on. Do you worry about anything at all, or do you just get your well deserved oats.

OP posts:
sykes · 07/05/2004 10:23

Thanks, FF ....

JJ · 07/05/2004 10:24

Get your well deserved oats -- but make an effort to let him know you're not after a serious relationship. Not a huge effort, but try not to lead him into thinking it's anything more than it is.

kiwisbird · 07/05/2004 10:27

I'd get the oats....

Original poster
fairyfly · 07/05/2004 10:32

What if you said you weren't after anything serious then he started wanting a little more from you. Would you make a small commitment of saying he'll be the only one and you will see each other on a regular basis, or would you call it a day........

OP posts:
Janstar · 07/05/2004 10:33

Try to imagine this the other way round. Would you think it okay if you met a man and he only wanted you for sex? I think the answer would be that he would have to be very honest about it and then let you decide. So that's what I think is the right thing to to. You don't want to break the poor boy's heart, do you? Cos he is bound to fall in love with you...

Please pass on what I say to this 'imaginary person', won't you? PORK

Janstar · 07/05/2004 10:34

Fairy, you are not using that magic wand to stir things up are you?

Original poster
fairyfly · 07/05/2004 10:35

It isn't me i have no oats, they are still in the supermarket, can't decide what brand

OP posts:
Original poster
fairyfly · 07/05/2004 10:36

I've just realised my last comment makes me sound like i'm confused about my sexuality

Yes Janstar wand is in action

OP posts:
sykes · 07/05/2004 10:36

IT's me ... FF acting with my best interests at heart as usual. I'm a tad confused and have bored the pants off FF and am now boring myself.

sykes · 07/05/2004 10:37

FF, are you confused about your sexuality - you have said you love me more htan once.

Original poster
fairyfly · 07/05/2004 10:38

and yes it would be completely fine if i met a man and he only wanted me for sex, superb

OP posts:
Original poster
fairyfly · 07/05/2004 10:40

No i'm not sykes, i couldn't handle a women they seem to act a little insane at the begining of relationships

OP posts:
pollingfold · 07/05/2004 10:57

Your talking about how I meet my husband. Spent a few months comparing him to ex, then realised that actually he was lovely and we balanced each other. You never know!!

Definitely take the oats, either way though.

sykes · 07/05/2004 11:03

I'm not massively comparing him to h, but we are very different. He's also quite a bit younger. Oh, dear. For practical reasons it's very complicated. However, it has been very enjoyable. I'll go away as I'm really getting on my nerves. Thanks.

Original poster
fairyfly · 07/05/2004 11:05

Sykes don't go away, discuss it, sort it out, and ring him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
lou33 · 07/05/2004 13:18

Would agree with JJ. Go for it you minx!

Heathcliffscathy · 07/05/2004 13:29

OATS OATS OATS!!! but let him know you're not going to be around for harvest iykwim (oh dear, taking the oats analogy a bit far...)

Lisa78 · 07/05/2004 13:32

I would say oats
And give us more details

collision · 07/05/2004 13:34

Why not get to know him a bit more and see if he can 'woo' you a bit!! You might find he is 'The One' but he might be shy or intimidated or not sure of what he wants either. Is he nice? Sexy? What's wrong with him? Do tell.

spacemonkey · 07/05/2004 13:35

OCH!

glitterfairy · 07/05/2004 14:03

Get porridge as well as oats and maybe some oat bread too! lol fairyfly

sykes · 07/05/2004 14:29

HEllo again. I'm sure he isn't the one - I don't want that at the moment at all anyway. He is very attractive, tall, slim and sexy - in my opinion anyway. He works in restaurants/catering so hours are difficult and he's an hour's drive away. I have two small girls so I'm rather tied to hte house etc.I've seen him over the last couple of months and we've stayed in hotels and it's been veyr exciting and physically quite staggering. However, he wants to meet my friends etc, etc. That's not what I want. Just want a fling and it doesn't seem possible as he thinks it's all on my terms.

Bugsy2 · 07/05/2004 16:38

At last, the story is out. Oh Sykes, lucky you and poor you. I would DEFINITELY advocate getting some action (but then I'm seriously deprived in that department).
However, I do think you need to tell him that you are not ready for another big relationship and that you are enjoying having some fun. Then it is up to him if he wants to keeping having "fun" or move on to someone more "serious".

sykes · 07/05/2004 16:42

Thanks, bugsy .... I'm up for fun but think he is intent on a little more which, frankly, really surprises me - what's happened to the youth of today, ffs? He's not THAT young, by the way.

Bugsy2 · 07/05/2004 16:49

No Sykes, that is just typical of the jam tart school of luck! He is probably the only man of his age wanting a "serious" relationship - and you found him!

Swipe left for the next trending thread