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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've just LTB I was right wasn't i?

43 replies

Chillyegg · 17/07/2015 19:28

Basically at my ils for eid . Earlier in the day dog had called me dumb for putting food on his plate wrong. It was awkward he's also been calling me names for a very long time. Any way he in his room he asks what's wrong, I say I feel tired and tearful. Had been up since 5:30 with the baby. I say I'm tired and teary but we'll talk about it later. He says why can't you just be happy for one day. I tell him to fuck of he screams and swears at me. Goes into the bathroom. I then pack my bags and tell him I'm leaving. He then follows me and screams at me says I'm a psycho etc. ( massive back story of him calling me loads of names) he tells me if I go to leave the baby. I tell him to duck that. He tells me to piss of and get out. I tell him I will. He then slaps me incredibly hard across the face. I leave
after he's gone terrified in a
taxi. He is now saying I'm the
worst person in the world that I'm every bitch under the sun because I left on eid. He
slapped me so I could see ssense Hmm. I'm apparently the selfish and bitch and just a
terrible person. And I'd
started the fight so I had
every intention to leave. This is all so jumbled but I'm devastated. My husband and best friend is an abusive twat

OP posts:
Esmeismyhero · 17/07/2015 19:30

He's a cunt! Well done for ltb! Flowers

minkGrundy · 17/07/2015 19:32

Yes you were right to ltb.
Try not to speak to him for the time being.
Hope you are somewhere safe and have contacted Womens Aid.

cozietoesie · 17/07/2015 19:33

Have you got a reasonable place to stay where you and the baby will be safe ? (Don't say where it is.)

NoraLouca · 17/07/2015 19:36

Yes you were right, Eid or not.

mummy0bummy · 17/07/2015 19:39

He slapped you?!?

Whether he thinks it was 'justified' or not, it's against the law.

mummy0bummy · 17/07/2015 19:40

Agree you were right Eid or not, he presumably thinks slapping and name-calling is fine at Eid but leaving as a result isn't Confused

FeckTheMagicDragon · 17/07/2015 19:44

See I thought Eid was a time for kindness and generosity.
Not for calling your wife dumb, and slapping her hard round the face.

Report him to the police and stay safe. Call women's aid, they can advise.

Chillyegg · 17/07/2015 19:58

Yeah I'm safe

Just in shock

OP posts:
butterflygirl15 · 17/07/2015 19:59

yes you were right. Please report him to the police and speak to Women's Aid too. You took the baby with you?

Chillyegg · 17/07/2015 20:00

Yeah baby's with me

OP posts:
Chillyegg · 17/07/2015 20:00

I just feel so so so shocked didn't see this coming

OP posts:
butterflygirl15 · 17/07/2015 20:11

are you going to report him to the police? You need it on record what he has done. Do you need a doctor?

crustsaway · 17/07/2015 20:11

You have the baby (thank god) and have just left a name calling spiteful person that hits when he doesnt get his own way. I'd say that was a pretty good Eid. He is and never was your best friend.

Congratulations and onwards and upwards to a better life.

cheminotte · 17/07/2015 20:14

Well done. You did the right thing.

ouryve · 17/07/2015 20:15

It sounds like the only mistake you made was not leaving the utterly abusive bastard before Eid. Well done for making that move and please seek out the sources of support that others have mentioned. Flowers

ouryve · 17/07/2015 20:17

Logging the incident with the police, even if you don't want to press charges, could be important if he decides to ramp up the nastiness when it comes to custody and contact, by the way.

Chillyegg · 17/07/2015 20:20

No I don't need a dr.
I'm not gonna call the police mainly because I don't have the emotional capability right now.
I'll get my brother to get my stuff and we'll I'll sort contact out and go see citizens advice. Feel so shocked

OP posts:
nrv0us · 17/07/2015 20:23

"Why can't you be happy just for one day?"

I think you're about to be

nrv0us · 17/07/2015 20:24

And for a lot longer than one day

butterflygirl15 · 17/07/2015 20:24

you need to log it. What happens when he wants contact with the baby. You need evidence of what he is like, so speak to WA, the police, your HV, GP and anyone else official. But you really do need to tell someone official. It will pay dividends in the long run. Also - why should he get away with it. He is an abuser.

Chillyegg · 17/07/2015 20:33

I know.

I have no issue with him seeing the baby he is no danger to her.

I'm just so confused

His family are upset that I just left without saying anything to anyone or saying good bye Hmm

OP posts:
Ohbollocksandballs · 17/07/2015 20:34

You've done a very brave thing Flowers

Lweji · 17/07/2015 20:39

Well done, you. Star

You did the right thing for you, but also for your baby. One day he'd hit you when holding the baby. The next he might hit you both.

I strongly advise you to report this to the police. Not much will happen to him, but will send him a message that you will not let it go. And that it's not only you who sees it as wrong.

It will also help you when dealing with his twattiness in relation to the baby and contact. Because he will be a twat in that respect.

Also expect threats, pleas, promises, cries and possibly suicide threats. You are very strongly advised to ignore them all.

cozietoesie · 17/07/2015 20:45

...he is no danger to her...

I'm sorry, Chilly, but you have no guarantee about that. This is a man that can call you names for putting food on his plate wrong - and that has actually hit you. (Plus all the rest.) What might he be like with her when she's a bit older and one of them is fractious?

I'd report it. You ought to start putting things on the record.

Well done for getting to safety anyway - it's not always so easy to do.

ShebaShimmyShake · 17/07/2015 20:51

No, you were not right - because you should have left him sooner!

Make sure the police know he assaulted you.