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Original poster

Is this the world's most cowardly shitty dumping text or what?

64 replies

harryjustshagsally · 17/07/2015 19:25

I just got dumped, by text, by a guy I've been seeing since April. I just think it is so cowardly. I'd rather him have just said 'You are just a mid thirties single mum, I'm just not that into you' than this cowardly rubbish.

'Sorry this is a bit late. Hope things aren't too trying with the police thing. Been thinking that maybe this isn't such a good idea. Talked to X (his best mate) and he thinks maybe we are not so good for each other. You have responsibilities, and I don't want to lead you back into bad habits just cos I'm fucked up. I really like you though, and I hope you won't think I'm a total arse or anything x'x'

Ugh. I had a little cry Sad but now I'm just thinking he is a total arse. Please tell me its him and not me. I've got some major shit going on (hence police comment) and I was quite enjoying the distraction.

OP posts:
ShebaShimmyShake · 17/07/2015 20:29

How is he a coward? Let me count the ways.

  1. Dumps by text.
  2. Bases personal relationship decisions on what his friends say.
  3. Is stupid enough to tell you that.
  4. Acts like a turd and begs you not to think badly of him for it.
  5. Can't even be bothered to construct complete sentences in his text dump.

What a shrivelled sad discharge of a man. Don't even respond. Say nothing. Do whatever you have to do to get through it but don't respond to his text AT ALL, in ANY WAY, to say ANYTHING.

Ohbollocksandballs · 17/07/2015 20:30

When he booty calls id be inclined to inform him you're currently in bed with your fabulous new man, and that he can totally fuck off.

What a wanker. I'll happily share your beer and cheese OP bollocks to him.

Original poster
harryjustshagsally · 17/07/2015 20:31

Sheba damn, should've picked up on his poor sentence structure. He's an English student! Opportunity missed.

OP posts:
AreYouSupposedToBeInIowa · 17/07/2015 20:34

I suspect he has not had his mate sway him but that he is shifting some of the blame onto his mate and that makes him a massive twat and you are well rid Harry

ShebaShimmyShake · 17/07/2015 20:35

He's an ENGLISH STUDENT?? With writing skills like that?? Where's he studying, Skool of Engrish in Bumfuck, Nowhere?

In addition to Ohbollocksandballs's suggestion, I'd suggest, when he booty calls you, adding, "No way, you can't afford my search fee to find your dick" and hang up. But no. Just don't respond. The whole 'don't hate me' thing is him trying to absolve any responsibility or change to his self perception after such a display of cowardice. He has every right to end a relationship but it should be done respectfully and in a manner that makes it clear he considers your feelings, not just his own. By simply not responding, you will make him absolutely crazy, trust me. Do whatever you must do to get through it, slag him off to friends or whatever, but nothing to him, nothing at all. Let that horrible text just hang in the air for him...

TurnipCake · 17/07/2015 20:39

How rubbish OP. I remember being dumped by text, some tiny violin playing in the background of how he was 'willing to be friends'

I sent him a curt, "I have enough friends, thank you" and felt better after that.

You'll be fine. Plus you don't have to share all that lovely antipasti, booze and beer. And he's an arse. Win win.

ThatsNotEvenAWord · 17/07/2015 20:47

Lucky escape Flowers

Cupcakemommom · 17/07/2015 21:23

It sounds as though the last 12 months have been incredibly traumatic, this is not a man you can rely on to support you. He's saved you the trouble of having think of a polite reason to dump him.

ScrambledEggAndToast · 17/07/2015 21:57

Yes OP, that is shitty. I wouldn't even dignify that with a response (as much as I would want to) What a twat!! Him not you.

Original poster
harryjustshagsally · 17/07/2015 22:07

The lasr 12 months have been horrible cupcake I just wanted something or someone to not be the dark, traumatic shit IYSWIM. I thought he was the fun reward for it but obviously I'm notbl fabulous enough for that. Oh well.

OP posts:
maybetomorrow22 · 17/07/2015 22:20

I feel your pain! You are far better than him.

I got dumped on the eve of my 21st by text Many moons ago. Eventually saw him ago 6-9 months later. I had great satisfaction of telling him I now had a wonderful boyfriend and he had missed his chance after asking me to go home with him....

Stay positive, if he doesn't have the balls to do it in person you don't need him in your life

Lacoba66 · 17/07/2015 22:30

Harry, you sound quite strong by your posts (may not feel it now, I know).

I think you have had a lucky escape, as he sounds like a total 'TWAT' Smile

He is a coward, and if you think about it, his inability to speak to you about his concerns about the relationship, show him to not be a 'life' partner, as you could never rely on him to be a genuine and decent person.

You've had a crap time recently, but hold on to the fact that you are a decent person, and please believe that you are 'fabulous'! X

Original poster
harryjustshagsally · 17/07/2015 22:46

lacob thanks, the fact that you can 'say' that to me as a total stranger means LOADS. He's been sleeping with me for the past few months and can't say 'sorry but no' shows he doesn't have a good heart. I hav a good heart and I'm honest. Yes the last 12 months have been piteous bit and m strong. I am.

OP posts:
Botanicbaby · 17/07/2015 23:20

OP you sound totally fabulous, german beer, brie & antipasti.

absolutely his loss, not yours. Sorry you've had such a rotten year, agree with others that you've had a lucky escape. Totally immature behaviour on his part and you don't need that in your life. You can do SO much better and you will. Flowers

Cupcakemommom · 17/07/2015 23:23

He's no reward Harry although I understand that you felt your time with him to have been a welcome break and release from your other difficulties. From the tone of the text I would say that the issue is his lack of maturity.

Stay strong and fabulous. You deserve better Star

Original poster
harryjustshagsally · 18/07/2015 10:59

Right, today is a new day. I need to forget immature grand twattwat.

I'm going to write some lists, that include not being involved with a man for the next 12 months. Going to do the freedom project online and try find a little part time easy job for when I start my masters at university in September.

Thanks all for the handhold last night Flowers

OP posts:
PeanutsOnTheFloor · 18/07/2015 11:10

Could have texted ' you're right, accepting bad sex at my age is a bad habit to get back into. OK, wish you well and hope you manage to sort it out'. [immature]

Anniegetyourgun · 18/07/2015 11:11

Well, you had some sex and some laughs to distract you for a few months so it wasn't all bad. And now you'll be too busy to fit around a self-centred immature fellow anyway.

Maybe what his mate actually said is that you're too good for him, rather than you're not good for each other. If so his mate is wise. (Maybe you'll get invited out by the mate next.)

Original poster
harryjustshagsally · 18/07/2015 11:38

peanuts you were right actually, the sex was pretty pants. Another missed opportunity to send a withering reply! He was good to knock about with as a distraction for a bit but he certainly wasn't a keeper, I was getting a bit fed up of taking the lead on everything anyway.

His friend is my best mates boyfriend Annie so he won't be asking me out Grin

OP posts:
minkGrundy · 18/07/2015 13:28

I like your planSmile
Good luck.

Stormtreader · 21/07/2015 16:29

Its funny isnt it, that when a guy texts you with "I dont want you to think I'm...." that thats usually EXACTLY what they are. Mine was "I dont want you to think I'm unreliable" after rescheduling a date, that was the last I ever heard from him!

Original poster
harryjustshagsally · 21/07/2015 18:05

Well he's had some right shit off his friend for using him as an excuse. My bf and her dp (his friend) had a 3am phone call from him the night he sent the text to me, he obviously felt bad for not taking responsibility and using their conversation as an excuse. Nice that he is bothered about his friends feelings but doesn't give a fuck about mine Hmm

He is a total arse Stormtrader. We are well rid.

OP posts:
TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 21/07/2015 18:07

If he says "I hope you don't think I'm an arse." It 100% means he's an arse.

VulcanWoman · 21/07/2015 18:13

He's done you a favour, saves you the trouble.

Threefishys · 21/07/2015 18:58

If it makes you feel better I got dumped after FOUR (count them) YEARS with a note through the door. Your guy is a prince by comparison!

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