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Original poster

I love you to bits - interpretation

42 replies

BoyMeetsWorld · 12/07/2015 16:47

oh wise MNers - I seek your interpretations :) Asking on behalf of my non Mumsnetting bestie.

If someone says they love you to bits. When asked "as friends?" they respond with "The to bits part should answer that question" ...do you take that to mean yes, I only love you as a friend or no, I love you as more than a friend?

Over to you...

OP posts:
ObeseDenise · 12/07/2015 16:48

Yeah 'to bits' means in a friendly platonic way. Not in a 'want to jump your bones' way.

It's also an incredibly annoying saying imo.

gamerchick · 12/07/2015 16:49

Depends on whether there was flirting going on anyway and both or one was fishing.

tumbletumble · 12/07/2015 16:52

Yes, 'to bits' implies to me in a friendly, playful way rather than a passionate or romantic way.

Joysmum · 12/07/2015 16:52

The friend is being a twat. Second friend is clearly confused and they don't see fit to clarify that.

cleanmyhouse · 12/07/2015 16:54

I think it sounds as if someone is trying to avoid giving a straight answer.

What age are they?

tigermoll · 12/07/2015 16:55

If you have to ask "do you mean that platonically?" then there is clearly something going on, from one side or the other. Does your friend WANT the 'l love you ' to be as a friend? is he /she getting vibes they want to nip in the bud?

twirlypoo · 12/07/2015 16:55

It's a very patronising phrase - the fact they didn't clarify when asked says friends to me, but also that they are a bit of a coward. Your friends had a lucky escape!

Original poster
BoyMeetsWorld · 12/07/2015 16:55

Gamerchick - very long and extensive back history of flirting and emotions. so it's not without weight.

Joysmum - that's my fear too, if he's playing her, but wanted to see what others think.

OP posts:
StarDustMonkey · 12/07/2015 16:56

It can mean either! I love my DH to bit, but would also say it to my kids and very close friends :/

StarDustMonkey · 12/07/2015 16:56

bits* grrr

Stitchintime1 · 12/07/2015 16:57

If he loved her in the way she wanted to be loved, she'd know it.

Stitchintime1 · 12/07/2015 16:58

Unless he's a serial killer and "to bits" has a more sinister meaning.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 12/07/2015 17:17

I love you to bits as a friend. I don't want to fuck you, but I like having you around. I love you like a comfy pair of slippers.

laurierf · 12/07/2015 17:23

very long and extensive back history of flirting and emotions

She needs to close that down.

As Stich said, if he loved her in the way she wanted to be loved, she'd know it.

When you have to ask other people how to interpret something in this scenario, you are heading for heartbreak.

Original poster
BoyMeetsWorld · 12/07/2015 17:41

Ehric - what about in the context that the one certainty is that he does want to sleep with her (not that she would) just anything else that is in question.

does that change the "comfy shoes" take on it?

can you get "i love you to bits (and want to sleep with you) but only actually feel friendship for you" ?

OP posts:
Back2Two · 12/07/2015 17:46

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

FenellaFellorick · 12/07/2015 17:48

No idea. They know though so why can't they just answer a simple question instead of playing silly games?

laurierf · 12/07/2015 17:48

Why doesn't she just ask him outright to give her a straight answer? Now.

laurierf · 12/07/2015 17:51

can you get "i love you to bits (and want to sleep with you) but only actually feel friendship for you" ?

You can certainly get "i love you to bits (and want to sleep with you) but you're not "the one" because I don't actually love you.

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 12/07/2015 17:54

I think he's playing her.

She should back right off.

Tetleys · 12/07/2015 17:56

It's a very non-committal way of keeping his options open.

I think the ''i could sleep with you I guess, for a while, on my terms, but you're not the one'' is the interpretation I'd give it.

BoxOfKittens · 12/07/2015 18:01

If she wants it to mean more then she will have to start that conversation by the sounds of it.

In my experience, a friend will go out of their way to not say "we will never be more than friends". The friend who said this "to bits" piece had their opportunity to clarify and left the water murky. Either due to being put on the spot so not having time to gather a proper answer, possibly confusion or even plain old cowardice (even if it is due to not wanting to hurt someone, it is still cowardice).

I've been in both positions and it is definitely a tricky one.

Stitchintime1 · 12/07/2015 18:03

Is it you?

Original poster
BoyMeetsWorld · 12/07/2015 18:04

Stitchintime, thankfully - no. I think the guy in question is a prize idiot, but she won't listen to me so I wanted other opinions

OP posts:
laurierf · 12/07/2015 18:05

he's going to go out of his way to avoid saying "we will never be more than friends" because he wants to have sex with her.

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