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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I love you to bits - interpretation

42 replies

BoyMeetsWorld · 12/07/2015 16:47

oh wise MNers - I seek your interpretations :) Asking on behalf of my non Mumsnetting bestie.

If someone says they love you to bits. When asked "as friends?" they respond with "The to bits part should answer that question" ...do you take that to mean yes, I only love you as a friend or no, I love you as more than a friend?

Over to you...

OP posts:

laurierf · 12/07/2015 18:10

Why the long history of flirting and emotions? Who was seeing someone else over that time?

FolkGirl · 13/07/2015 06:27

he's going to go out of his way to avoid saying "we will never be more than friends" because he wants to have sex with her.

Absolutely this.

If he says they'll only be friends, then sex is off. He doesn't want that to happen, so he's avoiding saying it.

He's not even doing it in a clumsy way of avoiding hurting her feelings, so he's not even a friend really.

She deserves to have someone who is clear about their feelings and intentions, not left reading things into the mind games of someone who's just keeping his options open.

As someone else said, if he loved her then she would know it.

Vivacia · 13/07/2015 06:38

How's your friend feeling about the new opinions?

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 13/07/2015 07:04

Ok, then it means I like you and I want to fuck you but I will never see you as more than a fun fuck buddy type. You're cute and you make me feel good (like the comfy slippers) but you don't make my pulse race.

Original poster

BoyMeetsWorld · 13/07/2015 08:12

Thanks all. opinions have been presented - whether they make any difference or not who knows, but can't say I didn't try :p

OP posts:

Anniegetyourgun · 13/07/2015 09:28

I don't think it matters what the words mean (and in any case they may mean different things to different people). I can tell you I love you more than the moon and the stars and life itself. I can say I will always be there for you no matter what life sends. I can even promise to give you my last Rolo. But you know what? It means nothing at all without actions. (And by "actions" I don't mean a quick shag.)

Tetleys · 13/07/2015 10:44

yes. i agree with Annie.

Instead of focusing on the precise meaning of his words, try to ask her if she feels she can ring him at any time, would her call always be a welcome one? Or would there be a suggestion that there should be a reason for her call.
That's a good bench mark for me. In the early days! Does she feel she could ask him for help? Would he want to help her, or would he be looking behind him, for somebody else more obliged to help his friend than he feels he is. One can always tell. Would he/does he ever go out of his way for her. Or is it all about his convenience. How does she feel? Not quite good enough to 'win' him. Or supported, valued and precious.

DoorToTheRiver · 13/07/2015 11:40

I would say he's interested in her in a more than friends way but doesn't want a proper relationship. The flirting and the evasive answer all suggest he fancies her but isn't prepared to just say he likes her. I would agree he seems like a player through bitter experience

He either just wants no strings sex, just enjoys the mind games and keeping her dangling or he's not in a position to have a relationship. Less likely would be he's a bit shy and doesn't want to ruin their friendship unless he's sure she feels the same.

Are they both single?

Original poster

BoyMeetsWorld · 13/07/2015 17:22

Doortotheriver ...no, he's not.

OP posts:

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 13/07/2015 17:24

Why is she wasting her time?

laurierf · 13/07/2015 17:27

Why is she wasting her time?

Because he's telling her he loves her to bits.

She needs to close this down now.

DoorToTheRiver · 13/07/2015 17:34

I see, that explains his comment then.

He wants to shag her but is trying to be a bit subtle about it because he's not single. If your friend doesn't want to know or there's the chance his wife/partner may find out then he can say he didn't try anything and it was just banter.

Your friend should run a mile, but if she's in such a quandary that you are posting on here about it I would say she's interested regardless of him being in a relationship.

Perhaps she should read some of the thread's on here where the wife posts having discovered cheating - it might make your friend think again.

laurierf · 13/07/2015 17:38

Perhaps she should read some of the thread's on here where the wife posts having discovered cheating - it might make your friend think again

She should probably read the "limerence" thread.

lavenderhoney · 14/07/2015 14:02

What bits? What? The second part of it only confuses things.

It sounds more like " I love you to bits BUT waffle waffle sorry I shagged you and led you on, but hey, I love you to bits"

Or they have sinister intentions and literally mean to bits.

Bungy7 · 15/10/2019 16:17

So what if this situation is when a woman says it to a man...
On a night out with work colleagues/ friends A female colleague who is with someone, as am I, said... "I love you to bits. I've loved you to bits since I first met you"
We get along well and yes there has been some flirting mostly via text.
I'm confused...does this make me a friend, comfy pair of slippers or is she saying something more?

Antibles · 15/10/2019 18:06

Bits = genitals. So a sexual innuendo. That's how I would read it.

AgentJohnson · 17/10/2019 01:52

I couldn’t be asked trying to translate twattery.

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