Not coping with partner leaving me....

[Tanyalouise30]

Hi, any advice support please.
My partner left me a week ago. Long story short we were at a family bbq on the Sunday he got out of control drunk and on the way home on the train he started flipping out on me accusing me of being a cheat . For the record I have never cheated and never even thought about it, it's not something that I would do. Anyway, he was very aggressive on the train and was threatening me saying he will "find him" and torture him and a death will be on my hands, then used his head to push mine against a window and spat in my face... All in front of my daughter and his sister.

Went to work the next day and instead of coming home to an apology which I expected I came home to him packing his bags and sticking with this accusation of cheating, I defended myself and asked who he thought id cheated with and he said he will never name names as no one would believe him and he doesn't want to be called a liar and will take it to his grave ...he's even gone as far to say my dad knows about it and has done all the time ...insane.
Obviously as u can imagine I'm devastated I knew we have had it rough the last year or so but I just never saw this coming, and I hate the way it's making me feel I'm broken and lost he won't respond to me. He's just gone out my life and grilling me about when he can see our dd and how much money I want and when he will get his stuff...

Will I feel like this forever I feel like I can't breathe with all this anxiety :(

Name changing doesn't give you anonymity in a thread as AF has clearly demonstrated.

Three deep breaths. Calm down.

You are in control. He doesn't want commitment. You are going to have to take these emotions and fears all back inside you. And you know you can deal with it.

Leave the boy alone.

Any family / friends that may use this site this was my first time and didn't think the name through properly.

Okay I understand, not ises this before so didn't realise.
Thanks

OP, he wants to be single for all these lads times he has coming up. He has devised a plan to make you dump him, do yourself a favour by not letting him back when he's had his fun.

He spat in your face FFS.

it's OK lovey

if you are worried about your original name, it will still be there

you could ask Hq to delete this thread and start again with a completely new name unconnected to you

you will get lots of support here

Thank you so much.

3 months ago my husband of 25 years left me. It was completely out of the blue and I was in shock. I can't describe the crushing anxiety - I couldn't eat or sleep. I was absolutely devastated. I came on here many times to start my own thread, but wasn't able to. As so hard to even see the words down in black and white.

My DH seemed to throw all the blame back at me too. He acted like he was furious with me, even though I had not done anything to deserve this treatment. We had never argued previously and he had never once told me that he was unhappy. I thought we were a happy family.

Of course there was another woman involved, although he is still not being honest about it.

The extreme anxiety has eased now and I am starting to see more clearly. There is a long road ahead and so much to sort out. I can only say that you must take one day at a time. It is a roller coaster of emotion and you can be up on a high and then down on a low in the same hour! Give yourself time to grieve and as time passes, you might start to see your husband through different eyes.

I don't know how I will cope with it all, but because I have children, I know that I will have to manage somehow. I am determined to make a happy future for myself, although that feels a long way off right now. Take as much help and advice as you can - this is when you will really find out who your friends are.

chocolate.

Now you're seen the word in black and white, start a thread if you think it would help as you know some experienced and helpful people will post on

Thank you laurierf. It's such a long story, I don't know where to begin. Some of the things that have happened have been jaw dropping and I would really 'out' myself if I posted. But I can't leave them out really as they are key elements to it all. That awful crushing anxiety though that the OP is talking about - I just wanted her to know that it will ease in time. Hard to know how to go on when the person you trusted most in the world has let you down so badly.

chocolate, Tanya… I'm new to Mn but have looked at historic Relationships threads and realised no on forgets you on here.. even if they don't post because they don't want to hound you… they are willing you on all the way. And, frankly, having been involved with the "world" of psychotherapy - which absolutely serves a function and helps in a number of scenarios - the biased perspective of someone - possibly an uninvested stranger - who absolutely gets it, who has walked a very similar path to you, or held their loved ones' hands as they have they have walked that path, is very powerful and - it seems to me - very effective for the person it's directed at.

Thank you laurierf , it has been a massive help being on this site