Because quite frankly, he doesn't deserve me. To his credit, he took it when I told him this, and I also told him he wasn't much of a father either.
He is a good man, kind, supportive, fun, hardworking and my best friend, but I cried and cried last night when I realised that if anything happened to me, he would be completely incapable of looking after our children.
He doesn't fight to see the two he's already got from previous relationships, he is catastrophic with money, and has asked me for a thousand pounds over the last week to bail out family members we've said no more to, or over spending on a night out when I took DS away to give him a break. He can't manage life admin, I do everything - bills, rent, estate agents, solicitors for the house we're trying to buy, childcare, birthdays, car, holidays. Whilst working 60 hours a week, travelling on average 500 miles a week. And I'm pregnant.
And on Saturday he picked DS and I up from the station when we came back with the car running on fumes because he only had £4 out of £250 from his night out left. He couldn't even get DS a drink, because he'd spent it all.
He is now distraught. Has asked me to take all his wages and give him pocket money each week so I can control what he spends, and told me to tell him what I need from him and whatever, he will do it.
But I want a partner, and not another child. I just can't be arsed.