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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How would you feel if your DH said..

33 replies

RattleAndRoll · 05/07/2015 19:47

'She's going in the spank bank.' After DH's friend said he was going on a date with a woman and showed DH a photo of her?

OP posts:
Alibabsandthe40Musketeers · 05/07/2015 19:48

I don't know, because he would never say something so grim.

How do you feel?

SpendSpendSpend · 05/07/2015 19:49

I dont understand what he said

Justmuddlingalong · 05/07/2015 19:50

I thought it was the wank bank.

BlackCatsAndTopHats · 05/07/2015 19:50

I would be pissed off with him. What a crass thing to say. Especially if he said it in front of me, which I would find very disrespectful.

It sounds like he is trying to be supportive/approving of his friend's date but there are a million other ways he could have worded it that wouldn't make him sound like such a twat.

FenellaFellorick · 05/07/2015 19:51

I'd think he was a dick. That's a really crude thing to say.

Original poster
RattleAndRoll · 05/07/2015 19:57

He was on the computer messaging friend on a game (no chat history saves) and I literally happened to look at that sentence. I just looked at him and he said oh I'm winding my mate up.

Thing is a a few months ago I had a feeling and looked at his FB messages (I know, I know) and he was in a group chat with a few friends and one of their girlfriends and also a separate chat with the girlfriend and was continuously (in both chats) referencing the girlfriend going in his spank bank, or getting wet or whatever. I went mad and he said it was just jokes and it was in front of others etc. I told him I don't care if it's joking its disrespectful. He was so upset. Yet he's done it again. And this was purely by accident I saw. I wonder what else I haven't seen.

OP posts:
TokenGinger · 05/07/2015 19:58

Assuming your DH is totally uncool and doesn't know the correct term and actually means wank bank, I'd tell him to enjoy his wank bank because that'd be the only release he'd be getting for a while.

Tosser.

Original poster
RattleAndRoll · 05/07/2015 19:59

Thing is he always joking with everyone, he's always crude and rude but it's never meant seriously. It's just I get to a point where I think hang on a sec I don't think this is appropriate when you're married and have a child.

OP posts:
FenellaFellorick · 05/07/2015 19:59

yuk.

Original poster
RattleAndRoll · 05/07/2015 20:00

I might be the uncool one and didn't get the wording right Blush
But I'll pretend I did and he's the one that messed up. Grin

OP posts:
CookieLady · 05/07/2015 20:00

Couldn't agree more with Token.

CocktailQueen · 05/07/2015 20:01

Yuk. Vile and disrespectful. Even if he was 'joking'.

MaliaGrace · 05/07/2015 20:02

How old is he? He sounds either v young or older 'trying' to be younger than he is.

Either way. he sound awful.

Original poster
RattleAndRoll · 05/07/2015 20:04

We've been together for 9 years. But we're only in our mid twenties. He acts like he's in his mid teens though.

OP posts:
Teabagbeforemilk · 05/07/2015 20:04

I would go with what token said. Its disrespectful to you and her.

However, why do feel uncomfortable with his (shit) sense of humour now?

If dh said this i would be horrified, because I have never heard him talk like that. But if he usually had a crude and disgusting sense of humour and I married him anyway, I wouldn't expect that to change because he had a child.

butterfly133 · 05/07/2015 20:05

oh that is horrible.

I don't think "rude and crude" is fun any time, regardless of whether or not he is married with a child. Has he always been like this?

AuntyMag10 · 05/07/2015 20:08

I can't stand people who swear let alone being crude and vulgar. My dh would not speak this way. He is very respect and a decent man.

Original poster
RattleAndRoll · 05/07/2015 20:09

Because I thought, perhaps wrongly, that he'd grow up, basically.
Grow up generally from teenager to adult and then also a bit more as he's now a parent.

OP posts:
ChristinaTweet · 05/07/2015 20:13

what does it mean

Teabagbeforemilk · 05/07/2015 20:14

People do grow up, however certain things don't change.

People I knew as teens that had shit senses of humour, still have shit sense of humour.

If it bothers you, you need to tell him its not ok and why you feel its not. While i think its wrong and disgusting, he may not realise you have an issue with it.

Some men i work with have senses of humour like this at work dos with partners I am horrified by how many of their partners think its hilarious.

butterfly133 · 05/07/2015 20:14

he still might .... how old is he?

Whatamuckingfuddle · 05/07/2015 20:19

My DH is a generally decent human being. However I could imagined him saying this to support a(specific) much less mature friend. I don't like the language and he would most likelyprewarnme

Whatamuckingfuddle · 05/07/2015 20:20

Apologies - my space bar is playing up!

Original poster
RattleAndRoll · 05/07/2015 20:34

Anyway thanks everyone for your views.
For those asking what it means, according to urban dictionary it means to mentally photograph somebody so to be able to masturbate over them at a later date.

OP posts:
Original poster
RattleAndRoll · 05/07/2015 20:35

Also according to urban dictionary spank bank is a thing and means the same as wank bank.

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