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35 year old man I'm seeing doesn't know how to plumb a washing machine in. Would this be a turn off to you?!

173 replies

yourcolourgrey · 02/07/2015 15:37

This made me feel weird about him. Completely over the top, I know. But does anyone else think this is un-sexy? Or is it just me?

OP posts:
wallypops · 03/07/2015 06:13

Ex husband couldn't use a screwdriver. Not exactly a turn on. DP can build and restore houses and do everything in them. I've done 4 renovations myself. Prefer DPs skill set to exh.

DrSethHazlittMD · 03/07/2015 08:26

Now I know why I had so little success with online dating all those years. I foolishly included on my profile that while I was a fabulous cook, I couldn't plumb in a washing machine.

ShortandSweeter · 03/07/2015 09:29

I don't like women who can't cook or iron my shirts very well.

PoundingTheStreets · 03/07/2015 11:08

Grin Think the OP got the message on this one.

Personally, speaking as someone who is very practical and loves DIY, I have a viewpoint that you either need to be able to do these things for yourself, or have the ability to call someone else to come in to do it for you. As long as you don't stand there all helpless, it doesn't really matter.

Cretaceous · 03/07/2015 11:09

"I'd find diy uselessness a turnoff too. But it is not especially a gendered thing, more that I'm fairly handy myself and can't imagine being with somebody unwilling to get stuck in figuring out practical stuff. How hard can it be to work out how a couple of pipes stick together?!"

This! Each to their own, but I would hate to live with a useless person. One of the big turn-ons re my DP was he took responsibility for noticing and doing all household chores, could cook, sew on a button etc. Once I saw that, I knew he had boyfriend potential! If he couldn't or wouldn't cook and iron, he would have to have been pretty great in other departments to make up for it. Capable people make great partners, and people tend to underrate this virtue when they are looking for their "soulmate".

I notice the sexist OP hasn't been back Smile

wanderings · 03/07/2015 13:06

Should partners be able to cut each other's hair, in the interests of "DIY usefulness"?

What's the difference between paying a professional to do so, and paying someone to plumb in a washing machine?

BarbarianMum · 03/07/2015 13:25

"I'd find diy uselessness a turnoff too. But it is not especially a gendered thing, more that I'm fairly handy myself and can't imagine being with somebody unwilling to get stuck in figuring out practical stuff. How hard can it be to work out how a couple of pipes stick together?!"

^^ Ditto. But I'd add that I wouldn't find helplessness in the face of cooking, cleaning or ironing attractive either. Or managing money, or dealing with other everyday life stuff.

Basically I fancy grown up men.

ALaughAMinute · 03/07/2015 13:29

Is he good with his hands in other ways?

If not, get rid of him!

Cretaceous · 03/07/2015 14:16

"Should partners be able to cut each other's hair, in the interests of "DIY usefulness"?"
Why not, if it's a basic style? My DP has often cut my hair! I'm an unashamed cheapskate, and he does a pretty good job, and there's £40+ saved. Each to their own, but I've found there's not really many jobs you can't do perfectly well/better yourself... Hmm, maybe I should have prioritised rich and incompetent over poorer but useful in a DP... Grin

FenellaFellorick · 03/07/2015 14:46

my husband does mine too. He's really rather good.

He does the whole family.

Ok, everyone but me simply has clippers, but still...

LurcioAgain · 03/07/2015 15:02

Clearly the answer is simple.

LTB.

Pay someone to plumb the machine in for you. Who knows, it may turn out to be Hans ze plumber as mentioned upthread, and you'll have replaced useless other half.

If, however, the workman turns out to be an elderly chap in a flat hat (or similar - insert cliche here), and you find yourself (oh, the horror) man-less, whenever you feel the need for male company and realise you have unfortunately ditched yours, sit on said machine while it is on its spin cycle and fantasize about Hans ze plumber.

Ketchuphidestheburntbits · 03/07/2015 18:05

I agree with Lurcio, it's definitely worth getting a man in to do your DIY. I know someone who is very happily married to a lovely man who came to fit her carpets!

My DH and I wouldn't have a clue how to plumb a washing machine. I know vaguely that there are some pipes behind the kitchen stuff but don't know what they do as its a bit dusty back there

honeysuckleclimber · 03/07/2015 18:19

Oh wow, my DP is useless at all DIY. Fairly sure he would struggle to plumb in a washing machine. He would disagree of course but in my experience, he talks about doing it for so long I get fed up and do it myself or call someone out Wink Not sure how that could be a turn off though?!

Offred · 03/07/2015 18:30

If it's about wanting a man to have "man skills" YABU.

If it's about wanting an equally capable partner YANBU.

However, people who don't know how to do stuff are really very different to people who won't do stuff and it's only the latter who are really offputting IMO.

I had a good laugh (away from BF) about him not understanding that rental prices were rent and didn't include council tax/bills/utilities and him calling the landlord because the gas supply "was broken" when it was actually on a card meter and the gas man looked at him like Hmm and explained how to work it. He's 30 btw but underneath it all I did feel a little proud that despite not knowing about living alone (just moved out of his parents' house) and doing stupid things he has sorted everything out himself.

FrancesNiadova · 03/07/2015 18:39

What's he like with the rest of your plumbing? Blush

Y0la · 03/07/2015 20:46

har har! can he fix the damp spot!

BobbyDazzler1 · 03/07/2015 20:49

Arrogance, egocentricity, selfishness, abusiveness - these horrors take a life time to establish in a person. These are a turn off.
Plumbing a washing machine takes ten minutes to learn. Not a hugely admirable character trait imo.
I don't understand you if I'm honest x

ChilliAndMint · 03/07/2015 21:46

Why can't you do it yourself? I'm useless at anything IT, but don't hold that against me.

RexsLittleSlut · 03/07/2015 22:03

Where is the OP?? Do you think she is trapped under the washing machine??

OMG. It's Geraldine. She's back!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2398700-the-Sordid-affair-thread-the-story-goes-on?

Personally, if a man can't handle a plumb bob and a tight washer correctly, I'm just not interested. If he can't plumb in the washing machine, I'd throw in the towel.

MadeMan · 03/07/2015 22:10

"If he can't plumb in the washing machine, I'd throw in the towel."

You'd have to wash the towel in the bath if the wash machine weren't plumbed in though.

RexsLittleSlut · 03/07/2015 22:19

You'd have to wash the towel in the bath if the wash machine weren't plumbed in though.

Oh dear. And the Humour Appreciation Prize does not go to MadeMan.

That was the point of the joke.

Goes to lie down in dark room with towel over head

MadeMan · 03/07/2015 22:23

I know it was a joke. Smile

borrows a towel from German in a sauna

FretYeNotAllIsShiny · 03/07/2015 22:23

I would think it odd that he couldn't. Mind you, I'd find it odd that anyone in their 30s couldn't install a washing machine, change a lightbulb, empty the sink trap or unblock the loo. I find these are things you learn quite rapidly when you get your first property.

It wouldn't be a turn off - but it might be an invite to piss-taking.

SelfLoathing · 03/07/2015 22:34

ooh baby tighten that washer a bit harder, yes lean over and push that pipe onto the tap. Yes screw it on. Slower, slower. Let me see. God - now open the stop cock. OPEN it, harder. That's it.

Yes. I quite see how not being able to plumb in a washing machine is a serious turn off. What would you wank about?

MrsBertMacklin · 03/07/2015 22:37

Is it weird that I've never had to empty the sink trap in my flat (resident for 8 years)? I'm a bit worried now that I'm not doing something essential.

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