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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

35 year old man I'm seeing doesn't know how to plumb a washing machine in. Would this be a turn off to you?!

173 replies

yourcolourgrey · 02/07/2015 15:37

This made me feel weird about him. Completely over the top, I know. But does anyone else think this is un-sexy? Or is it just me?

OP posts:
HootyMcTooty · 02/07/2015 19:06

Glad I wasn't the only one thinking OP's attitude was caused by watching too many bad German pornos Grin

My DH has no "man skills" I don't give two shits, we're both capable adults and we can figure most things out between us, or call someone to do it for us. Meh. To each their own. But OP you are being sexist.

sanfairyanne · 02/07/2015 19:09

well it pisses me off when dh is shit at that kind of thing. then again, it obviously didnt bother me a few years ago Smile
assuming you just mean attach the hoses/loosen any relevant bolt things, its pretty feeble for an able bodied man or woman not to be able to do.it

trackrBird · 02/07/2015 19:11

It's just you.

BolshierAyraStark · 02/07/2015 19:15

Lol, I read the OP & thought she must have a thing for 70's porn.
WTF would you give a shit about if someone could plumb in a washing machine? Unless of course he's a plumber by trade... Grin

Lacoba66 · 02/07/2015 19:15

Lol - trackbird..

BackToTheCaveMan · 02/07/2015 19:18

I quite agree this lack of gender enforcement while growing up is a source of constant worry to me. How do we expect people to behave properly, if they are not taught what to do. I would ditch him darlin.

I went out with a bird recently, she kept banging on about politics. No doubt trying to impress me that she knew what she was talking about Smile. She failed.

She even came out without high heels and make-up on, I mean what does an attitude like that get you?? Not me, thats for sure.

When I told her I wouldn't ever date a bird who didn't dress properly or "put-out" regularly, she said "YANBU". no idea what the f**K that means.

The worlds gone mad. I blame it on votes for women.

headinhands · 02/07/2015 19:22

If he hasn't had to why would he know how to? It's not like a neurological illness is it like there is a part of his brain not working. Would he be willing to work out how if he needed to, that is what matters.

LizzieBelle · 02/07/2015 19:24

Where is the OP?? Do you think she is trapped under the washing machine??

RubbishMantra · 02/07/2015 19:27

Oh no, I had similar, IfNotNowThenWhen. Ex insisted he knew how to grout the tiles I'd put up. He literally re-plastered the bathroom with the stuff. Took me a couple of days to scrape/scrub off the thick thick layer of dried grout covering all the tiles, that took him half an hour to trowel on with gay abandon. Angry

brokenhearted55a · 02/07/2015 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ouryve · 02/07/2015 19:47

He's not the hairy type, curtains, though did have long hair on his head until a few weeks ago.

He does have very long fingers, mind Grin

And for balance, he knows how to sew on a button.

BertieBotts · 02/07/2015 19:51

If he didn't know how to google how to do it, that would be deeply unsexy to me.

I love a geek Grin

Wafflenose · 02/07/2015 19:55

A turn off?! Confused

Have my first Biscuit

Jdee41 · 02/07/2015 22:01

Wonder if the OP can plumb in a washing machine herself?

zoemaguire · 02/07/2015 22:10

I'd find diy uselessness a turnoff too. But it is not especially a gendered thing, more that I'm fairly handy myself and can't imagine being with somebody unwilling to get stuck in figuring out practical stuff. How hard can it be to work out how a couple of pipes stick together?!

zoemaguire · 02/07/2015 22:11

Gosh, I'm in double-entendre city there Grin

WhoreGasm · 02/07/2015 22:11

Nah. DH wouldn't even be sure whether it was a washing machine, let alone know how to plumb it in.

I still think he's damned hot though.

cozietoesie · 02/07/2015 22:16

I don't think it's a sex thing so much as a security thing - like when you were a child and something went wrong: whatever it was, you could run to Daddy or Mummy and they'd either know what to do, know someone who knew what to do or otherwise exude an air of confidence that would calm you right down and help you get things in perspective.

Anyone that needs someone to do something like that for them needs to looks very hard at themselves I think.

shadowfax07 · 03/07/2015 00:52

I connected the last washing machine, DP did the current one. It isn't rocket science.

Is this the right time to mention that he also drilled through the hot water pipe in the utility room when he tried to put shelves up in there, and still hasn't made good the hole or put up the fucking shelves that he wanted? He's an electrician by training too. Apparently this is only the second time he's drilled through a water pipe yeah, right.

albertcampionscat · 03/07/2015 01:05

Not unless you have a fetish about plumbing.

Bogeyface · 03/07/2015 01:11

Yes it would bother me, but only because I cant stand people who are useless!

I dont need to call the AA when I get a flat tyre, I dont need to call a plumber for a blocked drain and I can plumb in a washer and a dishwasher (I plumbed in a washer this weekend rather than spend £20 for someone else to attach a plug, a cold feed and a waste pipe!). If I meet someone who cant plumb in basic appliances then I do think less of them, male or female.

Joysmum · 03/07/2015 01:26

There's clearly a lot of unsexy women in here that have never plumbed in a washing machine either.

I think it's only fair we should all fess up to our OHs and expect to be ditched tomorrow Hmm

however · 03/07/2015 03:53

Would it bother him if you had no idea how to bake bread?

Want2bSupermum · 03/07/2015 04:56

What would turn me off is someone not willing to find out how. DH was a keeper because he put up ikea bookshelves (yes 2) in 45 mins. He demonstrated a positive cando attitude and good manners of not swearing.

Washing machine plumbing has been done by me lots so it's something I would do. Tyre changing is something he would do as he does it all the bloody time. Actually I have way more experience with household work so end up doing or directing the work.

wanderings · 03/07/2015 05:53

There's doing DIY, and there's having the patience to do DIY properly.

Yes, I do a lot of my own DIY, including plumbing in washing machines. But I do make a point of paying someone else to do something if I think they would do it better. I have an overgrown tree in dire need of pruning; I also have a ladder, a saw, and a good head for heights. But with that task, I would rather pay someone who knows what they are doing, who would do it far more neatly than I would.

Many DIY tasks are a lot more difficult than they look, and there can be a temptation to take short cuts, which would have consequences later.

"Don't have any plumbing sealant? Pass me the Blu-tack." Two days later: flooded kitchen.

Some plasterers say that a lot of their work begins with sorting out the mess when someone has tried to do it themselves. (Plastering neatly is only easy if you know how!)

What does nagging (oops, forbidden word) Sybil Fawlty say in Gourmet Night? "Take the car into the garage, Basil. You're not trying to do it yourself, are you?" And later Basil beats the car with a large branch.