New Relationship Orgasm

[Outnumbrd]

Shame on me I've faked all orgasms in past relationships, once you start it's hard to do a U turn. In new relationship now, don't wanna go down that path again. But we've had sex several times and not cum... how do you start? Or does everyone put up with orgasmless sex? Am I a prude? lool?

It's new - under body & soul. It's only been going a couple of weeks. Bit quiet at first, but things are starting to get interesting!

Can I move this thread to there or write a new one with same OP?

If you report you post mumsnet could move it - Or you can start a new one.

I've been with one or two chaps who seem affronted by me giving myself a hand. But you know what? Fuck em. Or not, as the case may be. Probably not.

If one doesn't show ones partner how one likes it, one jolly well can't expect them to get one off, can one? And us blokes love to see m'lady taking the lead and showing us what she likes, eh m'lady?

Seriously now, show him, talk to him, use his hand if that makes you feel less freaky, but he can't read your mind and know what to do :) Good luck op.

Works the other way as well. There is nothing more boggling than a bloke saying meaningfully "You KNOW what I like" or (worse) "Just use your imagination".

If you're concerned about his reaction to you pleasuring yourself during sex, tell him how much he's turning you on, so much that you can't help but have a play with yourself.

Quit faking, ever. It's a stupid thing to do - as you know realise.

Most women don't orgasm through penetration alone. So this might never happen. I don't, I find it too much of a distraction as I need to focus on what is happening elsewhere :-)

Don't feel you 'should' orgasm each time you have sex. Nice if you do, so what if you don't as long as you are having fun. Was this what led you to start faking? Some saddo men see a womans orgasm as an ego trip, fuck 'em, most men understand it can be a bit more complicated than their own and want to help towards it, but don't feel it's a criticism of them if you don't cum. I don't every time, it's all a bit of an effort for me and I enjoy sex anyway, so sometimes I can't be bothered. Never hurt my sex life.

I think female orgasms are a bit more personalised than men's. The vast majority of men will orgasm through intercourse and the exact details of how/who/type/position etc don't effect that. I think women have a more precise type of stimulation that is personalised for them, what works for one women won't work for another. So the chaps need a bit of guidance or they just have to get lucky with hitting on the right things to do. Men appreciate this guidance, in my experience.

And they've all been hugely turned on if a vibrator gets involved!

Eek! great to hear from a man ?? and Lois so true actually you've shed a whole new light! I hate it if he doesn't make it obvious whether he's liking what I'm doing or not! I'd rather he guide me ????
loveareading, yes I often enjoy sex even though I don't cum, and yes they feel inadequate if they think they haven't made me cum. If I don't fake they ask 'did you cum?' Not the new one, (yet).

I have never, ever faked. I HAVE said "I'm not quite finished here, could you give me a hand", with a cheeky (maybe seductive, who knows? Maybe just deranged) look.

outnumbrd,
if you are faking organisms the only person you are short-changing is yourself.
Check out the sex board for more info.......{wink}

sorry folks, that should be "orgasms"

organisms So now I need to find a way to loosen up. How long does it normally take a man to make you orgasm? I'm worried that he'll get bored!

Organisms

How long does it normally take a man to make you orgasm? I'm worried that he'll get bored!

If he gets bored, you're with the wrong man.

And how long...well it depends. If it's an after-coitus tidy-up job, not long. If it's from a cold start, longer.

yes they feel inadequate if they think they haven't made me cum. If I don't fake they ask 'did you cum?' - that's because you've lied to them and they are used to you 'coming' every time - so if you don't, they wonder what's gone wrong.

Not the new one, (yet). that's because you haven't conned him into believing you come every time even when you don't. Although, it would be polite of him to ask and see what he can do about it, to be honest. If he doesn't give a shit if you ever come or not, that's not a great sign.

Sex is so much better if you all just chill out and stop being embarrassed about it. Seriously.

at 'after coitus tidy-up job'!!

You know what I mean. Loose ends.

after coitus tidy-up job!!! hahaha

Really, honestly, do women really ask to be finished off? (in the sexual way obviously)
Is anyone reading this like me and never had a partner make her come?

You do have a slightly odd attitude, Op. (sorry!!)

One, You seem to think it is your job to keep your fellas confidence up by pretending and lying to him.
What's the worst that happens if you say, 'nah I didn't come, or not quite, or whatever.

Two, You seem to think that men find making a woman orgasm really dull and boring. Why should they? Most partners love making their partner happy?

Three, that its all very awkward and embarrassing.
Why?

Me!

DH had erectile dysfunction when we met so I got in the habit of faking it, realised I had always faked it and am now stuck in the rut.

Lets have a pact - If you try improving things I will as well.

Oh good heavens, it depresses me that in this day and age women are still faking it! I decided to stop doing that at the ripe old age of 18. I'm 56 and never once regretted it. Sure you get the occasional wanker man who seems to think just looking at his golden cock should make the earth move. This is because he's had fakers in the past. You may be massaging his ego, bless 'im, but you're doing him no favours. Tell him no-one's ever made you come before. He won't be able to resist the challenge

do women really ask to be finished off?

Well it's either that or "Do you fancy watching while I do it myself."

And yes, I do! Ask them or do it myself.

Well, usually, I've already had an orgasm before he has - but if not, why not?

It is a certain mind-set that says sex is all about men's pleasure. Get yourself out of that mind-set, young lady!!