Nothing wrong in doing this apparently

[abitbemused]

Dh has a very close male friend who he has referred to as his 'soul mate and best friend' This guy often calls him early in the morning e.g 8.15 on a Sunday and I get annoyed that the whole house is woken up while dh chats loudly. He may also call several times in a day and the chats are usually long, even if they have seen each other that same day.

Dh and I are not getting on, partly due to his time spent on hobbies which the guy is also involved with and also seemingly prioritising his friend over his family.Dh is always very defensive if I say anything negative about his friend and says that I am 'jealous' because I have no close friends. Dh often goes out into the garage or another room when he calls so I can't hear what they are saying.

They have already spoken this afternoon and he just called again. Dh has now gone out and said he was going for a drive.I asked where to,expecting him to be meeting up with his mate, but he said he was going out to talk to him. I said that it was a bit odd to go for a drive to speak rather than staying at home and doing it. Dh said that I was being ridiculous and there was nothing wrong in doing that - I disagree. What would you think?

It brings me no pleasure to say this but. That is fucking weird. WTAF rings someone on a Sunday Morning at 8.15. Unless it's an emergency. Is your Dh's friend right in the head.
A soul mate is something you say about your partner. Not your friend.
Sorry op but the words "Get a room" are spinning in my head

www.imdb.com/title/tt3609352/

Sorry - should have explained the link - Netflix series about two married couples where the men are business partners and then, when the kids are grown up, break up their marriages to be together having had a 20 year affair.

I don't know if your OH is gay, OP, of course I don't but it is definitely an unusual relationship for 2 married adult males and if it's affecting your relationship with your husband, it's worth addressing.

How are things today OP?

Hope you're ok OP? There are some bullshit posts on your thread. Does your husband know your Mumsnet username?

Is it definitely his friend he is talking to OP?

I would probably consider snooping at his internet history

It's definitely his friend he's speaking to. I can get nowhere near his phone or laptop as they are password protected.

Today I was woken at 7.15 am by his mate calling for a chat-the earliest so far. When I finally started to doze off he called again at 8.15 and then again about 20 minutes later. They apparently needed to chat to discuss plans for the weekend as they are away for an event. They had already spoken to each other for a fair bit yesterday though. When I asked why they could not text instead to avoid waking me up I was told to wind my neck in. He sees nothing wrong with the early morning phone calls and,again, said I'm just jealous.

I said that most friends would think that was way too early to call unless it was an emergency but he still thinks it's acceptable. He really cannot see this relationship as a problem at all and I am apparently 'deranged' for thinking it's odd.

He's either gay
OR
If you only hear one side of the phone conversation ( your dh) and you have never heard the voice on the phone could it be another woman ???

Leaving aside the fairly major issue of him having an affair (which this sounds exactly like).

You were woken by an early phone call. It is reasonable to complain. It is reasonable for him to arrange things so that you are not woken up early. It is unreasonable of him to say you are unreasonable.

OP, the way he is speaking to you is really unacceptable. Wind your neck in?? I'm betting that if he took a phone call from you and woke his precious friend up who then complained he would not tell him to wind his neck in. This man has absolutely no respect for you.

It is possible that he is just excited about this weekend away, but that is no reason to speak to you like he did. Tell him to move out so that you both get some breathing space. This honestly does not sound healthy at all.

I think I'd be answering the phone myself next time he decided to call at such an ungodly hour.