Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Choco rises...

59 replies

chocoraisin · 22/06/2015 16:27

I have no idea if anyone will remember my epically miserable divorce related posting back in 2012. But just in case anyone does, I wanted to give an update. It's been 3 years. I am now very divorced, Bean arrived safe and well and turns 3 in two weeks, Sprout is in school, nearly 5.

I did train as a life coach and founded a parent coaching practice in 2013, working with families affected by domestic abuse. My life experience has become an asset now! Most incredibly though, I met my gorgeous DP 18months ago, in the most obscure place ever, when I wasn't remotely interested in looking for a partner... on Friday he asked me to marry him and I said yes.

I am posting this in part to let anyone going through a hideous breakup right now know that when people tell you 'this too shall pass', it's true. It does. Don't hold on to anything that is dragging you down... just let go. There is something better waiting for you on the other side

Also, I wanted to say to all who hand-held and looked after me and my DS's through that terrible time, thank you and you and you and you. You gave me back my faith in the good in people. You told me life would be better, and you were right. God bless Mumsnet. x

OP posts:

Cadburyhome · 22/06/2015 20:59

Congratulations. What a lovely ending/beginning to your story. Any plans for some dc ?

Cadburyhome · 22/06/2015 21:00

sorry that should say more dc!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 22/06/2015 21:10

You always wrote beautifully and showed a lot of strength considering the antics of your ex. Many congratulations!

AmIbeingTreasonable · 22/06/2015 21:55

I remember your threads, so glad to hear that things are good for you

Donatello68 · 22/06/2015 22:08

Thank you very much for posting. I am really pleased for you!! As someone who is still going through it, it is good to know that there is a better place.

Lweji · 22/06/2015 22:15

It's great to hear from you, and that you are doing great (as we knew you would :) ).

And also to say that it's really good when there are such updates. It can have a huge impact on others going through similar situations.

butterflygirl15 · 22/06/2015 22:31

I remember you - many congratulations. And 3 years - how the flipping heck has that happened?

wideboy26 · 22/06/2015 22:46

I discovered mumsnet in 2012 so I may or may not have read your thread. What I wanted to say to your new thread is that it reinforces my faith in amor vincit omnia. I love reading about outcomes such as yours, so I shall go to bed happy tonight. Many congratulations and every happiness in your new marriage.

Original poster

chocoraisin · 22/06/2015 23:03

thank you everyone :) so glad to share the happy news with the people who helped me get here.

No plans for more DC - we have four under 8 between us, so we have full hands as well as full hearts already! Never say never. But definitely not now. Wedding won't happen til 2017 either, we're going to take our time. When we do it will be a beautiful outdoor hippy-fest of a handfast. Possibly barefoot in the woods . I might even wear fairy wings.

Ok, probably no wings, but you get the idea!

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 22/06/2015 23:04

I'll start looking for a hat now...

skyeskyeskye · 22/06/2015 23:29

So glad you posted on here :) I was so happy for you earlier and bursting to tell MN friends, but it's not mine to tell, lol.

Your threads were an inspiration to many. And the work you do with others now is also inspirational. You should be very proud of all you have achieved.

I look forward to meeting you properly one day and maybe you can help my DD too when you've taken the next step in your training.

For all those who followed your threads this has got to be one of the best updates ever on MN.

and for you and all the best for your future together.

And yes, you should wear fairy wings!

BakingWithToddlerand4YO · 23/06/2015 01:25

I remember you. We were about the same stage in our pregnancies with the same age toddlers when you first posted and I was in constant awe at your strength in dealing with such an awful excuse for a man whilst also raising a son, growing another one and relocating to your parents for some much needed space from ex and support. Still think you're amazing now for using the crap life has thrown at you as an opportunity to make your life and that of others better instead of becoming bitter and consumed by it all.
Massive congratulations on the engagement and for all you've achieved.

mathanxiety · 23/06/2015 05:51

I remember you

Has it really been three years??

Well done.

lazarusb · 23/06/2015 11:33

I think I mostly lurked on your threads as I had nothing to add to the amazing support you were given. I'm so glad that your negative experience has been turned into something positive by you. Your children will grow up to be very proud of having you as a mum. A strong role model despite what was thrown at you.

Congratulations on your engagement I hope you get the wedding you dream of, it sounds wonderful!

AgathaF · 23/06/2015 11:45

I remember you and your blog. Congratulations. May you have a long and happy life together.

Jux · 23/06/2015 12:52

Choco, how absolutely lovely to see you again; and your blog is still going!

Congratulations

Thank you for coming back.

saffronwblue · 23/06/2015 12:54

Choco I remember you well and am so pleased to hear your news.

BloodontheTracks · 23/06/2015 13:24

That's wonderful, choco. What an inspiration.

Nevergrowingup · 23/06/2015 13:44

Hey Choco, Congratulations. What a fantastic turnaround for you and you sound as though you have fought your way to a very blessed life.

Onwards and upwards, fairies and all... go for it!!

houseHuntinginmanchester · 23/06/2015 14:07

I've namechanged a gazillion times since then but I Remember you

WOW! Just wow! Look at you all loved up and gorgeous so happy for youxxx

Ps I can't believe it's been 3 years

JohnFarleysRuskin · 23/06/2015 14:10

Choco- always brave and thoughtful. So glad to hear that monumental twat did not bring you down despite his best efforts!

Many congratulations!

lunar1 · 23/06/2015 14:16

Congratulations! I can't believe it's been three years. So glad you have found someone to treat you well.

Did your ex stay with the ow in the end?

Giraffeseyelashes · 23/06/2015 14:44

I remember you and was actually just thinking about your story this morning! I'm so happy to hear you're doing well and that misery I'd a thing of your past. Is your ex still with the OW? And where did you meet your DP? So so happy for you!

Original poster

chocoraisin · 23/06/2015 15:04

Ex married the OW and had a DS with her last year. I met DF three months after I finalised my divorce, about 18 months ago. We were volunteering together. We were both very cautious about getting involved after the car-crash relationship I left, and DF's previous relationship ending with children involved (although theirs was a much more graceful parting than mine!). Despite our best efforts at playing it cool and taking it slow, it became obvious that we were going to be something special. We haven't moved in together yet, was we want to allow all our children, (2, 3, 4 and 8 yo) time to form their own bonds and feel secure in their transitions. Happily all of them seem delighted with our news :)

Thank you for all the congratulations, I wasn't expecting so many to remember me and the boys, but I'm touched that you do and thank you for all our well wishes :) XX

OP posts:

EvilStepMama · 23/06/2015 15:08

Choco Congratulations, I was on your early threads under a different name. Your fabulous sounding new man..... is he a "new man" or please humour the romantic in me totga?

Flip

1 2 3