Help me deal with moodswings without destroying DP

[WrathoftheBanshee]

Sorry if this turns into a bit of a novel:

Have been with DP 5 years, love him to pieces - we're really happy together. He makes me laugh everyday and is genuinely the most kind and caring person I know.

There are things he does which irk me, which is natural. I'm sure I irritate him in a minor way from time to time.

However, a week or two before my period, for 2 - 3 days, I get mind-bending rage at him, lose my temper, resent everything he does/says, am generally evil (completely overreact and say horrible things) and have near panic attacks that we are not right for each other and I'm making a huge mistake. This is followed almost immediately by massive guilt, fear of losing him and more panic.

His crimes are as follows:

He will occasionally leave clothes in the bathroom (on the floor), instead of putting them away immediately, as I would do.
He also leaves empty toilet rolls lying around rather than change the toilet roll properly.
Forgets on rare occasions to clean the toilet bowl after himself. Or doesn't do it as well as I would like.
He seems incapable of eating cereal and milk with out slopping it about (bringing the spoon up to his mouth before the milk has fully stopped running off it - or he will lift the bowl up to just under his chin and spoon from there - noisy and unattractive to watch)

Just typing that has given me the rage again. He is a lovely man. I am an evil, hormonal banshee.

The moodswings are completely OTT and ridiculous and DP gets the full force of my PMT rage every month

I've looked on the health boards and there seem to be a few medical things I could try but I want to know what I can do practically - all I can think of is leaving the house and only coming back to sleep on those days, which is not going to work.

I was thinking I can mark the days on the calendar so he knows to go out with his mates or keep himself busy (away from me!) or something?

AIBU? Any suggestions? Is it just me?!

Vivacia I can't see what possible benefit you'd get from remaining on this thread.

Did it ever occur to you that some people might have a worse time of it than you?

Maybe you can control your temper. I'm sure your home is happier for it.

Some people actually can't. No matter what they do. Maybe they are all irresponsible and aggressive. Or maybe it's harder for them.

A hell of a lot of people on this thread are struggling with their PMT moods/outbursts

As has been discussed at length in the thread, some people need medication to help them with this.

Are you planning on barging onto a thread full of people on medication and telling them all how courageously you controlled your temper for the sake of your children?

Maybe you should question whether or not they should have children, as you did to me, 'cause I'm sure that thought doesn't torment them every second of every day when they're at an all-time low, due to hormones?

Hi OP,
I have problems with this and find the following helpful:

• Period tracker app (search google play/app store for Period tracker, its the one with a pink daisy) - helps me see when my bad days will be.

• Neals yard remedy women's balance essential oil blend. I dilute about 3 drops with sweet almond carrier oil or body lotion and massage into forearms/chest- it doesnt cure it but takes the edge off the irritability.

www.nealsyardremedies.com/aromatherapy/aromatherapy-oils-and-blends/essential-oil-blends/2715.html#tab3

shove - that is brilliant, thank you.

I will definitely give this a try.

There are things he does (he mumbles to himself when he's thinking for example) which I find adorable the rest of the time

But I genuinely forget that I think it's adorable when he does it during the 'danger' week - if that makes sense.

Writing it down would help because the 'alternative thought' wouldn't be hard to think of

You might find it useful to download one of the period tracking apps. I use one called iPeriod. It not only tracks dates but also allows you to chart moods, flow, etc day by day so you can start looking at patterns. I'm not sure if you can also sync it to someone else's phone but that would be handy.
I had to check mine yesterday when I found myself close to snapping point. Due on in a week - that would explain it!
(V envious of pp who said irritable symptoms start on day 26)

Cross posted with sure

I will be sorting out a tracking app this evening

Possibly with some sort of alarm/warning siren!

now in a place of perfection.

I didn't claim this. You can tell I don't feel this by the way I don't go around ing about my bad temper.

STILL nothing better to do Vivacia? How sad.

I'm sure you're desperate for an update, as you're still finding the time to post (despite your three kids):

Great news! DP loves the ideas I've got on here today and is fully supportive, as I am of him.

Pmt is crappy. I started taking evening primrose oil last year. It helped with my spots around my neck line. They've virtually gone. And I didn't think it was doing much else....til I was poorly in Dec and had to take a lot of medication each day so (stupidly) dropped the EPO. Boy, did I really notice! Raging bitch from hell. Quickly started taking it again .

That is good news OP, well done and good luck to both of you.