Great New Man but Not Keen on his Hobbies/Lifestyle

[MindMaking]

Reading some of the posts on here, its hardly worth complaining about.

I've recently met a great new man, great chemistry after quite a few dates followed by (excellent sex) and I'm pretty sure its heading towards exclusivity. But its also become apparent that he has a very healthy lifestyle. That's great. But its verging on what I think its the obsessive. He is vegan, training to be a yogi, won't eat fat, sugar, and a whole list of perfectly normal foods and seems a bit over-invested in his admittedly very handsome appearance and figure. He doesn't work (because he is training to be a yoga instructor) so spends most of his time doing yoga, gym training and cooking (he goes to 3 different kinds of cookery classes).

To be honest, while I'm enjoying the benefits at the moment, I can see it getting a bit wearing long term. I'm wary of getting in too deep, as at the moment I could just walk away without being too overly emotionally invested. And the thought of a stringy yoga-tastic vegan in his fifties or sixties really doesn't appeal.

Would anyone else feel the same way? Am I being ridiculously picky? I think I'm also a bit wary because he tries very hard to come across as a decent guy, being seen as doing the right thing by not leading on women (that's why he says he is single), and he certainly seems very into me, but he is also very attractive and seems to have a lot of women hanging onto his every word when we bump into people he knows.

Surely a partner who has a good chance of excellent health when they are older is a better bet than the average person who just gets fatter and more disease prone?

Were I single I'd not want to get into an LTR with someone who didn't take very good care of their health.
I fully intend to be 'stringy and bendy' (aka lean, muscular and flexible) when I'm old.

I think you are deluded OP if you think you can convert him to your idea of a normal diet, extreme focus on health is clearly central to his sense of self and he's not likely to let go of it. ?

I think you don't really have a decision to make- the veganism (although it would have me running for the hills) is irrelevant.

He told you that he 'doesn't lead women on'? So therefore, if you get attached, it's all your fault. Can you see what he's saying? I reckon he keeps women at a safe distance, and I suspect he will make sure that the relationship doesn't progress any further.

Sorry if I'm wrong.

As a yogi / yoga teacher most of his clients will be women, he'll become a guru like figure with his perfect body and his perfect ethics...not to mention his excellent 'bedside manner'
He ain't gonna be short of ?offers, perhaps an heiress with a perfectly toned yoga body would appeal for when his inheritance runs out?

I'd make the most of the sex and try not to get attached...?

Why wouldn't a vegan eat rice krispies? Aren't they just rice? And they don't have sugar in them (do they?) -- you're thinking of Ricicles.

Anyway, back to you, OP I'm old-fashioned so I'm just a bit surprised that you shagged him before becoming exclusive. This is exactly why I like to wait sex confuses things. Before sex, we see an irritating habit in our new partner and feel rational about finishing with them. After sex, we thinking, "AIBU..?" and analyse things because we don't like the habit but we do like the sex... It's harder.

Long-term, I think a healthy teetotal Yogic vegan will be in better shape, and healthier, and live longer, than a beer-swilling, meat-eating, exercise-dodging Geezer. I don't think he'll go stringy. My exH was always veggie and skinny (and a twat, sadly) and he looks amazing now at 51, he has the body of a 25 y/o.

I think you should follow the path that seems to point to happiness. I don't know which path that is, though..

Sorry I haven't helped at all!

I think he seems rather self engrossed, a bit fanatical, and very controlling.

I wouldn't like to have some one like him around, no matter what good excuses he may have.

See you're all laughing at his horror of 'bad' foods and you feel he will naturally see things your way, relax and have a mars bar now and again.
He won't, as far as he is concerned his way of doing things makes him superior, he knows best and he has no desire to be like 'normal' people ?

I dont see this as a long term relationship

I bet he is single because he gets lots of attention from women.

The non working would be a deal breaker for me

The vegan would not be not a deal breaker for me
He has no right to impose on you on what you want to eat

Enjoy it while it lasts

oh god, sounds tedious.

Milk is full of fat? Umm..... No it isn't. Null points on the nutritional science side.

Is he one of these who believe loads of woo and pseudoscience? That'd drive me absolutely nuts.

Enjoy the flexible shagging, but don't let this guy get his claws in.

Ingredients for rice crispies from the Tesco website (Kelloggs are more coy about admitting to anything other than the rice and the vitamins and minerals):

Rice, Sugar, Salt, Barley Malt Flavouring, Vitamins & Minerals: Niacin, Iron, Vitamin B6, Vitamin B2 (Riboflavin), Vitamin B1 (Thiamin), Folic Acid, Vitamin D, Vitamin B12

So I would think that they are vegan but still processed crap. Nowt wrong with porridge or muesli with fruit and almond milk though.

I wouldn't necessarily be put off by either the not working or the veganism. Not on to comment on what the OP eats though - it would be like living with one of those diet bores who spends all the time 'being good' or 'being naughty' about food.

He owns his house outright and has an inheritence so it is unlikely that he is expecting either a partner or benefits to fund him as an alternative to working. I suppose the cruicial factor would be whether the inheritence is going to keep him until he starts earning as a yoga teacher.

In my city there are plenty of ethical vegetarian/vegan restaurants or normal ones that offer a good selection of vegan food so as long as he would be willing to go there once in a while that would be fine. Better than someone who only ever wants to eat in McDonalds or Pizza Hut.

It doesn't sound like his diet is the thing that's bothering you, OP - more that he's a bit self-obsessed. So the veganism/health becomes an issue not because you have any beef with it, but because it's being wielded by him as a kind of identity, as another way of talking and thinking about himself. It sounds like a bit of your brain is laughing at him just a little bit for his over-seriousness, with reason!

"beef with it" - unintentional pun. Sorry.

..so of course, being a perfectionist, she cut it out completely. Next thing you know she got epilepsy."

It's really dangerous to cut fat completely. Carbohydrates have been linked to epilepsy. Which I'm presuming she has replaced the fat with?

I would never date a vegan, and I was a vegetarian who didn't eat eggs for nearly 20 years. They have a real superiority complex in my opinion.

I have read some interesting arguments though, on how many wild animals and wildlife in general have had to die in order to create farm land for crops that vegans like to claim are more humane for us to eat.

I find vegans are like narcissists, in that, they just don't believe they are wrong.

The lack of b12 is a killer too......

You just sound really critical of him and not that into his personality or lifestyle, so basically this doesn't have legs. You don't admire the life choices he's making, but someone else (perhaps also vegan and into yoga) will. I don't think he's in the wrong, he's who he is, but you are also who you are and you don't sound compatible at all, and great sex isn't something to build an entire future life on (although no harm in indulging for the time being, is there?)

?Vegan, yogi...
is he a runner too?
That would give him the full house out of the health obsessed superiority triad

women fawning around him like he's the next Messiah, typical lost controlling, issue ridden man who thinks he has better answers to life, and makes better choices.

yes i have met a few like this. I place bets he's a Sagittarius.

oh no
I cant agree
he must be pisces

most likely a Virgo, I'd say!

yeah, you could be right
maybe virgo with pisces in uranus and mars on the cusp of the lotus position

I once had a date with a guy who was very food-conscious because he had raging diabetes. So far, so fine. But when I bought a piece of quiche, he looked at me askance and said "you're not going to eat that are you?" Why yes I am. It's a piece of fricking quiche not a chunk of raw lard you loon.

I love it when people comment about the food I'm eating, especially people that never actually seem to eat anything.

I used to work with somebody who always commented negatively on everyone's lunch choices, but I don't remember ever seeing him eat anything himself; he never bought any food or brought any in from home. A right gaunt bloke he was too.

I dated some one who weighed himself each am , gym five times a week which I guess would of driven me mad long term but he also would eat pizza , burgers ect I think people need a happy medium .

Made Man i never ate chips and chocolate ALL DAY And i cant eat it at all now or i gain.

Women just cant win I rest my case!

You are making assumptions about overweight ppl which arent true.