81yr old mum and "free cleaner"

[Snowflower01]

Am I and my sister being over suspicious with the relationship being formed between my 81yr old mum and her Eastern European 35 yr old cleaner.? She cleans for mum for a minimum of 2 hours every Saturday and does this for free. She is not CRB checked and came in as a complete stranger last October. Introduced by a young Polish woman who has disappeared completely.
We know nothing about her. She has befriended my mum beyond belief and has free run of the house. The girl's partner is now coming round and they have keys to my mum's allotment, where they are doing all the picking and watering for free too. The partner works in a sandwich factory, early shifts and he then is meeting my mum after work on the allotment, which my mum no longer can manage.
My dad has dementia and is 90, so really not aware of this being strange.
She calls my mum all the time for chats and is the perfect companion.
She claims to have a full time job, but so much of her free time is contact with my elderly mum.

Are we being over suspicious.???

Seeing as OP has the same window cleaner as her parents, that answers the question that she at least must be round there regularly. I think it's suspicious that she hasn't therefore bumped in to this couple. That would get my alarm bells ringing.

The poster who posted about the window cleaner isn't the OP.

Viv I am the PP with the window cleaner story - not the OP.....I am also the PP with the couple selling her knock off £500 plants etc ... just shows that even tho we are around the corner - she has at least 2 people ripping her off oh just thought of a third and fourth....kitchen company charged her £12k to put in 6 cupboard (no appliances) and then came back 3 months later to put in a £2.5 fitted wardrobe in a box room which is about 2ft wide and 8ft high -- then someone told her she needed a new boiler £3k - hers was fine - I intercepted that one in time and cancelled it. She gets cold calls morning noon and night....but when I tackle her on it she is v defensive and difficult.

Oh god, I don't know what I did there sorry dead

Either your parents are being taken advantage of, or a kind young couple are. You need to step in. Take control of the finances and offer to pay the couple. Talk to the bank to find out if it's possible to allow in-person withdrawals only, with only your mother, you, and your sister able to withdraw, so that a cash card can't be obtained and abused. Inform your mother's solicitor that an attempt to change the will could be a red flag. If your mother has decent jewellery that she rarely wears, keep it at your house. Just sensible precautions really. Your parents are vulnerable in general. This couple may be decent but others may not be.

Oh goodness what a worry. And FWIW I think you're right to be worried.

Who called SS in? Will they be following up?

I agree with others, I had (sadly now gone) an elderly relation nearby and popped in to see her almost daily and took her out lots but with a job, 2 DCs and a DH who worked away, didn't do her cleaning etc. as well. She could easily afford it so I offered to look into getting her a cleaner - within about 2 days she had organised her own cleaner from who-knows-where, she was a bit vague about it. She had no dementia problems and had lost a lot of independence through ill health so I didn't push it, she seemed like a nice enough woman when I bumped into her. The cleaner was paid but there always seemed to be a slight pressure for more paid work, 'I could take you shopping/I could give you a lift to see your friend, you just need to pay for my time', that kind of thing, it made my relation a bit uncomfortable to say no to her iykwim because she knew it wasn't always easy for me to fit it in either and we have no other family nearby. It seemed that the amount of time she was around escalated quite quickly. Then within a couple of months the cleaner had asked my relation if she could stay in her house for a week when we were taking my relation for a little holiday...and she would need keys. I had to be very blunt and say to my relation that I thought she was being taken advantage of, or that at least the potential was there for that to happen. She refused the keys and the house-sit and guess what? The cleaner never came back, just completely disappeared. I felt sorry for my relation, she was hurt and thought she had offended a friend - I just think we had a lucky escape. It disgusts me that anyone could set out to take advantage of a vulnerable person of any age but it's all too easy for it to happen.

I would go against the grain and say it's probably fine; people from EE are more respectful of elders ime.

I'll happily admit I do tend to see the best in people though and I'm probably very naive.

I did this for an elderly lady I used to live near. Cleaned and did odd jobs for her. No motive. She eventually started trying to pay me but I didn't cash the cheques until she started insisting and I had a massive change in circs which meant the £10 per week was very useful.
I only did it because she was far too proud for carers and lived near.

My ex had his own old lady he helped.
He found she'd fallen one night on NYE and took her to hospital. Visited her every day for 3 months in hospital then looked after her when she came home till she died. :(
No motive. Just kind.

He has a new old lady now. I don't. :(