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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What should I do

68 replies

Babysleeps · 13/06/2015 21:26

This is rushed, my Partner has kicked off tonight I really don't want to involve the police is there any where I can get help from?

OP posts:
DragonsCanHop · 13/06/2015 23:22

Who owns/rents the home, who's name is on the documents?

They will take him away but he can return if his name is on the docs.

If you are scared they will help as above.

If you go to bed and he comes home do you think it will be ok for tonight?

He is bang out of order and you need time to sleep and think about things tomorrow.

Can you go to bed and sleep?

Original poster
Babysleeps · 13/06/2015 23:22

This is such a mess just carnt figure out what's waht

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Original poster
Babysleeps · 13/06/2015 23:25

It's my house nothing to do with him

Trying to think straight and I think I need some space to think

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Original poster
Babysleeps · 13/06/2015 23:28

I think your right dragons I should just go bed try sleep
Thank you

OP posts:
Jackw · 13/06/2015 23:30

Don't let him in! If he hammers on the door, text him to say you need some space. If he doesn't go away, you may need to phone 999. You could text him to say he needs to leave for tonight and if he doesn't you'll call 999. That may be enough to make him go away.

You need time to think. You don't need to make any major decisions tonight.

Take a photo of any injuries. You may not use it, but best to have a record just in case.

Once you've had a chance to calm down, if you explain everything properly, you will get some good advice on here.

DragonsCanHop · 13/06/2015 23:56

He doesn't have a leg to stand on then.

Check you are locked up and go to bed. If he bangs on the door follow jackw advice.

You don't need to put up with any of this, just think, next time your DC could be present.

You have done nothing wrong.

tipsytrifle · 14/06/2015 00:03

It sounds like he's a nasty piece of work and you would be right to get rid of him. Lock him out and keep him out. Forever. He's cut your face and is a monumental liar if he told you he had the snip when he didn't. No doubt so he could be "unrestrained" with you. He took a major risk for his own jollies. On a selfishness scale that's top marks, I'd say.

He's now been to the pub on a Saturday night. I imagine there are a few things he might want in YOUR home tonight. How dare he? He has no entitlement to be there other than your agreement. Which really needs to be removed. If he kicks off again at the door call the police. Seriously. It is THAT risky a situation. If he has a key then barricade the damn door.

But it's up to you if this confrontation and edging into violence is enough for you to call a halt to this damaging relationship. You have DC? Their safety may not be an issue tonight but tomorrow ...

PlumFairy2014 · 14/06/2015 07:23

How are you today OP?

foolonthehill · 14/06/2015 13:04

stay safe baby. Trust your gut instincts. look after you.

Original poster
Babysleeps · 14/06/2015 15:12

Thank you all for your support I'm fine today, done nothing but sleep so far,

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Original poster
Babysleeps · 15/06/2015 17:50

Having a shit time today,i know what I should be doing but I'm not doing it, I have so much to sort out its crazy I'm trying to sort this out feel like I'm drowning just carnt figure this out

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twistletonsmythe · 15/06/2015 18:17

have you spoken to Women's Aid yet? Did you let him back in and how are your injuries? You can still report him to the police now. If you are pregnant then the more you get on file about his behaviour now the better tbh.

Original poster
Babysleeps · 15/06/2015 19:01

I havnt spoke to them yet as I have no credit, I'm scared no one will believe me and I'm shit scared of the police he's been back things were ok for a while but got bad last night been hiding away today

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twistletonsmythe · 15/06/2015 19:23

please lock the doors and do not let him back into the house. And are you hurt? You really need to report him to the police. You can call 101 and tell them what he has done. You can stop him.

Original poster
Babysleeps · 15/06/2015 19:24

Why do I feel this so blurred like not happening ?

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Original poster
Babysleeps · 15/06/2015 19:32

Keys got keys to the house worst was last night but I love him and I don't want to be with no one else

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Original poster
Babysleeps · 15/06/2015 22:15

How can I just get him out of here he's been staying here on and off for months I just don't want him here tonight ?

OP posts:
DragonsCanHop · 15/06/2015 22:26

Is he there now?

Getting him out once he is gone is easy. Gather his stuff, leave it outside and lock the doors from the inside with the key in the lock.

Text him and say you have been thinking about the other night and you don't want him back in the house for now.

And then get a friend round for some rl help.

You will feel so much better having the space.

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