Miss my DH so much since he left.

[Sweetsecret]

Hi, I am just needing to vent.
My husband left me two months ago.
Saying he no longer was in love with me, he said he needed some space and didn't know what the future held.
he said "it took time for us to unravel so would take time for us to "ravel" back together"
So I thought that he was at least considering there could be hope for us.
I am devastated, I feel so depressed and lonely.
He said he wanted to spend time with our children every weekend and that he still wanted to see me every night have dinner etc, but he needed to sleep at a relatives house, just to have some space.
Obviously I have asked if there is someone else, he says no. And I actually believe him.
I am just hurting so much, and find it difficult seeing him, but when I don't I miss him so much.
He just acts like nothing has happened and is very nice and somedays we have actually enjoyed spending time together, it's like for a few hours I forget we are seperated and we have a good laugh together.
Then he leaves and it hits me again.
I want to save my marriage, I am confused as to whether he does.
I don't want to keep hoping and be in this situation six month to a year down the line.
But if I distance myself will that be it? will I lose him forever.
The situation now is that we only see him at weekends, as I was finding it difficult watching him leave, but I miss him so much during the week.
I look forward to seeing him at the weekends and I know this isn't healthy as if he doesn't want to be my husband anymore, I am looking forward to seeing someone who sees me as nothing more than a friend and the mother of his children.
I have people in RL telling me what I should do all differing opinions and I am just so torn.
Do couples reunite from things like this? is there any point in me holding out any hope?
Urgh, I must sound so pathetic. I love him and I miss him.

Thats awful.

I suspect someone else but even if not he has switched himself off from you. Even if the depression is the main cause you cannot fix him yourself.

please look after yourself and the kids first and foremost. I hope your back improves quicklyx

Thanks mustard, I was so appalled. today he came over and has been cleaning, tidying the garden looking after the kids, making me drinks telling me to put my feet up. it is so wierd. I would love to tell him to do one, but the reality is I need his help! Urgh. x

Oh hell, mixed messages here or what?!?! He sounds v confused about what he wants/needs, and doesn't seem to have acknowledged the pain he's caused you. If he's depressed, he may lack insight into anything but his own needs/feel too guilty and worthless of you to talk it through.

Look after yourself, and as we Geordies say, 'if in doubt, do nowt' x

Ha ha. I love that saying. x

Sweetsecret,
I'm sorry but your DH isn't a "darling".

He's a weak, selfish man who has treated you appallingly.

Please take off your rose-coloured specs and see him for what he is. He's a a user and is insensitive and selfish to the core. Don't let him put you on the back-burner as a fallback.

Of course you're hurting, of course you're crying, of course you're grieving for what you thought you had. But try and hold it together when he comes around and when you're with the kids.

You also need to see a solicitor and get some advice as to where you stand financially.

I am sorry you are going through this.

Oh don't worry J, I know all of this now.
The way he treated me when I left hospital pretty much put the nail in the coffin for me.
I am struggling emotionally today, not because I miss him.
But I am so unwell, struggling to walk and I miss the support network, the help, you know?
With two young DC'S, it took me 40 mins to get my eldest to school this morning (it's usually a 15 min walk) I don't drive.
I have great friends but no one who can do things like school drop offs, I am so angry with him for leaving me in the shit like this, my feelings of love for him are definitely leaving me more and more each day.
I know it sounds pathetic but I just wish I had someone to look after me, as I feel so damn rotten.
I have sucked it up for my DC'S that's all I have done for the last two months, and honestly think I after am doing a good job.
I am just tired and after this last week, I feel more vulnerable as I was very very ill, I couldn't walk for two days and I will need extensive Physio to get me back on track, it's the thought of facing this alone which just frightens me a bit right now.
But hey, you just crack on don't you? x