Silly argument

[CranstontheCorgi]

Partner and I have been under a bit of stress lately, not connected to our relationship, and had a silly argument on my doorstep at the weekend that led to him driving off in a huff.
I refer to him as my partner, we don't live together but have plans to move in together in the next few months, so my point is, it's a serious long-term relationship.

We're an older couple so we don't tend to text/email each other all day, but he does usually call me each day on his way home from work and we normally see one another 4 or 5 nights a week.
However, the argument was on Sunday lunchtime and I haven't heard from since.
Have I been dumped? Or is he waiting for me to make the first move?

I'm still pissed off with him and suspect he is with me too, so not sure what's going on or what to do next.

You obviously really do need to talk to each other. You are both hurting.

Didn't sleep very well last night as I had someone staying over plus I wasn't sure about how to respond to his email.
If I hadn't had a house guest last night I'd have called him after I read his email, but I really didn't want to have to deal with an upsetting phone call and then try to entertain someone in my home, so I emailed him back early this morning and just said he could come to pick the laptop up on Sunday or Monday evening. I asked him to just let me know what day was best for him and what time he was coming.
I thought it was better to stay away from any personal stuff and figure if he has anything he wants to say to me, he'll say it when he collects the laptop. Anyway, so far he hasn't replied to tell me what day.

On another note, I'm feeling like shite and definitely need to work on my self-esteem and low mood. That's probably another thread though.

For crying out loud in the nicest possible way DO SOMETHING! Ring him and find out what's going on once and for all. You sound so passive it's verging on the pathetic. Personally I would ring him and have it out with him on the first day, not sit around biting my nails waiting for him to decide my fate.

If your self-esteem was better you might well think "Aha, he's too proud to phone and so he's using the laptop excuse as a way to make contact with me, without losing face". Your self-esteem must be extremely poor to think that you've been dumped, when he hasn't done anything of the sort.

How do you feel about your relationship: are you satisfied? Happy? Thinking about dumping him?

Just phone him and say "Are we going to kiss and make up, or what?"

Then, you'll know exactly where you stand. Just get it over with.

Oh please just ring him.

He's coming to pick it up shortly.
No idea what to say to him. Don't even know how I feel about it any more.

OP- talk to him. You're in this relationship too. It's not all about him making the decisions about your future - unless of course you let him. You will regret not putting your neck on the line this once - and if it isn't meant to be you know you did everything you could and move on with a clear mind. I hope I'm not being insensitive, it's just that I recognise me in your actions and being so passive in relationships means you're at someone else's whim...never a healthy or happy place to be. thinking of you.

No, Tiny, you're not coming over insensitive at all. I've actually been glad of some of the feedback on this thread because it never even occurred to me that I was being passive. Thank you.

He's been very business like in his comms so I do think he wants out, which is fair enough, but I'll tell him that's not I wanted.

Yes I think you should tell him how you feel. Be a part if this decision. For all you know he is hurting and assuming you're the one who wants out. Or maybe just this once he wants to hear from you about how you really feel. On the other hand - if this is his way of ending a relationship then you're well out of it. That's the behaviour of teenagers - not adults. Good luck and let us know how it goes

Absolutely what TinyDancer says.