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Original poster

Silly argument

61 replies

CranstontheCorgi · 10/06/2015 22:27

Partner and I have been under a bit of stress lately, not connected to our relationship, and had a silly argument on my doorstep at the weekend that led to him driving off in a huff.
I refer to him as my partner, we don't live together but have plans to move in together in the next few months, so my point is, it's a serious long-term relationship.

We're an older couple so we don't tend to text/email each other all day, but he does usually call me each day on his way home from work and we normally see one another 4 or 5 nights a week.
However, the argument was on Sunday lunchtime and I haven't heard from since.
Have I been dumped? Or is he waiting for me to make the first move?

I'm still pissed off with him and suspect he is with me too, so not sure what's going on or what to do next.

OP posts:
LineRunner · 11/06/2015 21:16

Good God, you've been together years. This isn't online bloody dating.

Why can't you call him?

Weird as fuck.

Unexpected · 11/06/2015 21:33

Are you going to call? Or are both of you going to sit in your respective homes stewing over this?

Original poster
CranstontheCorgi · 11/06/2015 21:34

I do understand that it's coming over ridiculous, I do.
But I just can't help thinking that if he actually gave a fuck about me, he wouldn't be doing this to me.

And if he gave a fuck, well then wouldn't he be the one calling me, as per the normal routine?

If he'd called as normal on Monday - as he does every evening - this wouldn't be happening at all.
His actions are speaking very loudly indeed.

OP posts:
shattered77 · 11/06/2015 21:41

Can't you text him and say that his laptop is at yours, and see if that prompts any response?

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 11/06/2015 21:44

He might be sat there thinking 'if she gave a fuck about me she'd ring me'.
Seriously how old are you both?

LineRunner · 11/06/2015 21:44

His inactions are telling you something, yes.

That he is upset, yes. Brain-fried, maybe. Tired of it, possibly.

I expect that for him to hear from you will either be a relief or more of the above. Ring him and find out. You are not the only one with feelings.

whothehellknows · 11/06/2015 22:04

Has he perhaps done something silly like dropped his phone down the toilet and you don't know about it? Certainly worth texting him, I think.

pocketsaviour · 11/06/2015 22:30

You both sound really stubborn.

If the argument was really over something silly, I would have texted the following day "Sorry we argued last night. I guess we are both wound up at the moment. How are you doing today?"

Now you've left it 4 days, so that approach won't work. If you do actually want to keep seeing him (maybe while you're both under stress it would be best to take a break?) I'd text something like "Hello you. How are you? You haven't called me this week. Hope everything's okay x"

pocketsaviour · 11/06/2015 22:31

Note: the above is assuming you're not in a horrible pattern of having arguments and then you always being the one to apologise and try to talk him round. If that's happening, just send him a text to say "You can collect your laptop this week or its going on eBay."

MrsGills · 11/06/2015 22:42

So... Have you rang him then?????

BackInTheRealWorld · 11/06/2015 22:55

So it's just me then that would think 'oh crack on then you stupid arse' and leave him to his sulkfest?

mynewpassion · 12/06/2015 05:39

If he's sulking, what do you call what the OP's doing?

You are equally at fault with this situation. You could easily call him too instead of waiting for him to call you. Are the both of you waiting for the other person to grovel or what? I swear I thought you guys were middle-aged and not in middle-school.

ravenmum · 12/06/2015 10:10

Well, people who describe themselves as "older" do often turn out to be in their 20s still Smile.

Cranston, I asked about your self-esteem as you are acting as if your partner gets to choose whether you are together or apart, or whether you speak to one another or not. You sound like you are expecting to be dumped - which would explain why you don't want to contact him, if you are scared of getting "bad news". Would it confirm your doubts about your own value if he wanted out?

Original poster
CranstontheCorgi · 12/06/2015 14:04

raven yes, it would confirm my doubts about my own value.

I think I'll call him tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
CranstontheCorgi · 12/06/2015 17:58

Ok - I'm dumped.
He's just emailed me to say he will need his work laptop for next week so will I let him know when it's convenient to pick it up.
I knew it. I had a gut feeling right since Sunday that it was over and that's why I didn't want to call him. Just delayed the inevitable I suppose.
What a cowardly twat though - why not just tell me. And fucking sending an email!
I think I'll reply and tell him I'll just leave it outside so I don't have to see him...

OP posts:
Original poster
CranstontheCorgi · 12/06/2015 18:00

Just realised it's a bloody laptop therefore valuable so I can't leave the fucker outside in case it gets stolen.
I'm not thinking clearly.

OP posts:
SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 12/06/2015 18:02

That's quite childish of him Cran. Sorry this has happened...

Original poster
CranstontheCorgi · 12/06/2015 18:06

Thanks Bob
I've got a house guest due to arrive in the next hour and I'm feeling so wobbly, it's not a close friend and I'm scared I'm going to cry all over her. Better stay away from the Wine tonight!

OP posts:
LineRunner · 12/06/2015 18:09

He hasn't dumped you or he would have said.

He's posturing. Quite immature, though. He wants you to know how hurt he is.

Seriously, just ring him and say can you meet to talk over the weekend.

ellabella34 · 12/06/2015 18:12

Are you sure you're dumped? As you haven't had a conversation to sort out the argument from last weekend, he might be thinking that you're still angry with him. If you don't want to be dumped then don't sit back and let possible miscommunication end things. In your situation I'd be calling him to ask what's going on.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 12/06/2015 18:21

Doesn't sound like a dumping to me. Just sounds like a petty and immature continuation of the argument. Seriously, how old are you both?

mynewpassion · 12/06/2015 19:17

I think the both of them are acting immature.

chairmeoh · 12/06/2015 19:26

Call him. Tell him you'd like to discuss the argument and how you can get past it. Have an adult conversation.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 12/06/2015 19:35

Agreed mynew. I didn't realise adults had relationships like this! I assumed in case of an argument/disagreement the vast majority of adults would discuss it/find a resolution/decide to call it a day/whatever. Not ignore each other all week then send stroppy emails.

mynewpassion · 12/06/2015 22:19

To be honest, I would have taken the email about the work computer as an olive branch opening and would have sent a response back about grabbing a quick bite to eat.