My DM and I had a difficult relationship but I loved her. My brother, I have come to understand, seems to have hated her and I am finding it hard to feel understanding rather than very angry. For example, he told me shortly after she died he felt much happier now she is dead as he doesn't have to worry about what she will think about things. I get what he means but also feel upset because she would be heartbroken to hear that is his view. When she died I was there and it was terrible, not pleasant or peaceful at all. He knew when she was dying but went out shopping with his wife and child. I could have done with some support and my mum would have wanted him there, more than she wanted me, actually.
Another tivial thing which hurts- for the funeral, My DM had left a letter about her funeral arrangements that mentioned getting sandwiches or food from somewhere like Waitrose or M&S. My bro and SIL found this hilarious and laughed at her for not wanting 'any old butties'. I would have thought someone could specify what they would like cor their own fundral without being sneered at. That seems quite basic to me. Even though I was the one who bore thebrunt of caring for her when she was dying, they kind of swooped in and did all the funeral arrangements, even though they were openly disparaging of her at the same time. I wish I had been more forceful but it is too late. I feel I mucked it all up and let DM down, although she would probably side with DB about this anyway, so what I am feeling is pointless.
The whole situation feels just horrible. As I said, I had a very, very hard relationship with her latterly, but when I was a child she was nice. I find it hard that they seem laughing and happy about her dying. It is making me feel ragey. Could anyone offer any advice?