Brief back story:
Been with DH (not married) for 11 years. Bit of a on off start but settled down, moved in had ds (7yo).
i moved into his flat to start - we hit financial trouble, couldn't afford to step up the ladder so eventually managed to get a HA flat and he sold his flat.
The money paid off debts and bought furniture/decorated new place.
No money left.
Roll on a few years and things have been fine , we have our ups and downs like any couple but muddled along...until Nov.
I wanted to go out for a reunion with some old friends - we had arranged to have dinner at someone's house. I asked if he would mind having ds, he kicked up a fuss and said no. I haven't been out on my own since having ds, not because of him but I have had confidence/anxiety problems.
I took ds with me in the end, had a great time and got home at 1pm.
Cue first major argument where he said he thought I had changed recently (I had, I wanted to be more sociable and not hide away) .
I realized that he didn't trust me after all this time and cracks started.
He slipped a disk in his neck and has been off work for months, just had his op and due to go back to work next week.
He has been off since Oct.
He has done nothing since then bar sit on the sofa watching netflix or playing on his phone, all my sympathy ran out months ago...in Jan I was put on anti-depressants by my doc.
His daily routine is: Get up at 1pm - sit on sofa - do the washing up - sit back down - bed 3-5am.
No school runs unless I need him to help me out , no cooking, barely any cleaning....
He might not be capable of running around the block but he was certainly able to do more than he did.
I have wanted out for months I think. I have grown apart from him.
We used to have a laugh, decent sex life, enjoy each others company but now none of that applies anymore.
I held off because he wasn't 'himself' - in pain, waiting for the op - not wanting to kick a man while hes down...
Today, shit kicked off - I want out.
We had a tiff and I just want him gone. I want to start again BUT I feel guilty.
He is older than me and gave up everything for our flat - the flat is in my name only, I am main carer for ds so I am assuming I have rights there. He has nothing.
Money is shit, he has nothing anyway as he's been off work. No where really for him to go (if hes desperate he has!)
I don't want this to carry on for much longer but I just feel awful for him...should I? Most people his age are settled with a bit of back up...
I am 27, still young enough to hit rock bottom(not far off I don't think tbh) and bounce back - it doesn't matter if I have nothing because I'm ok iykwim?
As it stands he went out earlier at some point and hasn't yet been back....