Getting over a one night stand

[Shoegal0305]

So I've been single for 9 years. Had a few disastrous liaisons and for a few years secretly lusted after a much younger man. Background........he used to live in my town but two years ago moved about 80 miles away. We are friends on Facebook and early this year, after a comment made on a mutual friends page, he PMd me and we started messaging. The texts quickly became very flirtatious. Then we swapped mobile numbers. Now I've NEVER expected anything from him but he felt, well, like an itch that I had to scratch!!! Does that make sense? I felt I needed to 'conquer' him!!! The texts became quite sexual and we shared fantasies with each other. I then plucked up the courage to ask him to come and visit me for the night. He said he would. Anyway since then he has been offered a job on the other side of the world, which he quite rightly has accepted. So last night he kept his promise and he came to see me. It was brilliant! I knew what I was getting into but I still am struggling with the fact I may never see him again! I know I probably sound stupid as I did go into this with my eyes open but I didn't think I'd feel this 'sad'? He left this morning and if I knew he was just going home 80 miles away I don't think it would bother me so much but I know that's that! I'm ready to be criticised as I know folk will say what did I expect? I just need some help to get clarification in my head that this was actually a night which I suggested and I wanted and it happened!

I do agree with what you're saying hence why I'm rambling on to you lot on here rather than actually acting on my feelings and texting him.

But he instigated it. I wouldn't have had the confidence to do so. We both said we wanted it and he wanted to see me before he left the UK. At the end of the day he couldn't stayed in his own city and gone and got a shag rather than travel the 80 miles to see me. And he has texted since it's just tapered off, which I knew it would due to the point I'm not gonna see him again and that's what's making me feel so sad.

In all the excitement you didn't think how you'd feel after. Or you did and assured yourself you'd be ok.

Him not calling etc isn't a sign of rejection per se as you already said you both agreed it was a hook up. And I expect he'd already mentioned his big move abroad so that shouldn't be a surprise. So the outcome is as expected.

But odd he deleted his Twitter/ Instagram and moving abroad though. Am I just really cynical and he's probably in a relationship and getting married so just said all that? But did fancy a shag with you and you'd hardly agree if it was totally out there it was a no strings shag with no contact after.

You need to get busy, and enjoy the memory and tell yourself it's normal to feel all this high emotion. It will go, as long as you don't try and convince yourself it's love all of a sudden.

Ime it will start to die down this week, be proactive now I'm making some plans to look forward to.
Id imagine the build up to this was very exciting and in your thoughts a lot so now you have a space to fill with something else.
Come on, don't allow a "mere man" to dominate your feelings so much.
Move on sister

I didn't realise I'd feel this way, no, but I only found out he was moving about 3 weeks ago........ It makes it all so final. But I would've felt a lot worse if I'd NOT done it and was sat here thinking 'what if'?.

He's definitely not in a relationship or married, remember I've know. Him about 6 years and we have s lot of mutual friends.

I'm trying so hard to stop thinking about him, I really am. I know in time it will be easier.

Anyone else got any helpful advice (pleeeeeaase lol).......

shag another guy?

Flipsflapsflops (?? the name!) I've joined two dating sites it's making me more depressed lol!!!! X

If you can't handle casual sex maybe you should find someone you can have a relationship with next time?

Casual sex doesn't suit everybody.

I don't know what to make of this, OP.
You use words like 'conquer' and 'pull' which make it all a bit dramatic or like some major achievement but it was just a shag.
It seems maybe you're just not cut out for one night stands? Nothing wrong with that, just keep it in mind before you have casual sex again.
Stop indulging yourself by allowing yourself to think about him all the time. When you start to think about him, switch your thoughts to something else. It's not easy at first but it will get better.
Not sure what else to say, sorry.

Laughaminute and ginsoaked thank toy if anything is to come out of this it's the fact that I'm probably NOT suited to one night stands lol xx