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Original poster

Am I mad? MUCH younger man!

74 replies

Taytocrisps101 · 26/05/2015 21:48

Ok, so talk some sense into me! Met a guy at a sporting event at the weekend, talked for about 45 mins and got on really well. Went separate ways and he texted me 3 times over Sunday / Monday ...I didn't reply til Monday evening and we have been texting all day today. He is well keen to meet up and seems like a really nice guy....trouble is, he is 20 years younger than me!! Think early 40s vs early 20s! I am not that naive to think he is looking for a girlfriend and realistic about what the outcome would be.....I am 2 years out of a 14 year marriage and half of me is thinking it might be fun...the other half is thinking I am old enough to be his mother! What to do?!?

OP posts:
Lagoonablue · 26/05/2015 22:36

Just see what happens ,

mumofthemonsters808 · 26/05/2015 22:38

Not for me I prefer an older man, I'd be concerned that people would think he was my son, ID also be paranoid that it was some sort of cruel bet.

magimedi · 26/05/2015 22:39

Go & have some fun.

Use condoms.

Enjoy it.

Life is very short.

RubyMay82 · 26/05/2015 22:43

I'm 33 my daughter's (absent) father is 22...
It was all fun & wahey I'm a cougar to start with but when I fell pregnant (huge accident) the age gap was used as a stick to beat me with & is most likely why my wee one is growing up without a father figure, no loss at all but he's just not grown up enough.
I look back & feel embarassed at myself & think he was just a kid (although he thought he was a big man)
If you're truly just wanting a shag go for it but it's rarely that simple & I learned the hard way.

RubyMay82 · 26/05/2015 22:45

I joke the age gap should never be more than 14 years & it means neither old enough to be parent or child but like I say tried an 11 year age gap which didn't pan out well for me & scared me off good & proper (before that I was often knocking off lads a good bit younger)

Noneedtoworryatall · 26/05/2015 22:54

Go for it op Smile

springydaffs · 26/05/2015 23:21

Well yes, go for it, you never know do you?

Ime there's only one thing young men want, usually whats new but he may be a keeper - it depends what you want? Yy - but what you ultimately want.

As much as I'd like the endless shagging in theory I also need to protect my heart. I'm not going to have any more children and I don't want a relationship that is certain to end. I also have a few friends who have been quite mashed up by relationships with flighty young men.

Why don't you take up jumping off cliffs in a wing suit instead? You may or may not get hurt.

RegTheMonkey1 · 27/05/2015 10:09

If you like him, and fancy him, then why not? It's unlikely to lead to anything permanent (although my friend is 19 years younger than her husband and they've been married over 10 years). I have had a 'relationship' with a much younger man, he was 14 years younger and we had six months of such fun! It was a lovely time, and both of us were clear eyed about it. We really liked each other, and we fancied each other and I thought 'why not'. I'm really glad I did. I have lovely warm memories of that time.

Hoppinggreen · 27/05/2015 10:15

Have some fun but make sure you are both on the same page and be cautious about getting too emotionally involved with him .

ohtheholidays · 27/05/2015 10:20

When I met my now DH he was 23,I was nearly 31.He was recently out of his first marriage and I'd been divorced for a few years and had 4 children.

When I read it back it sounds like madness but we've been together for nearly 10 years now,happily married and we had a DD together and he is very much Dad to all 5 of our DC.

He's the one that's kept me sane since we lost my Mum last year.

My parents were always very choosy when it came to liking anyone I've dated,with my husband they've always loved him.Never call him they're son in law they always called him they're son.

crje · 27/05/2015 10:25

I'm 40 with a 20 yr old son !!!

Don't do it , if it was 25 & 45 it would be marginally better but a 20 yr old was a teenager a few months ago .

ElectricalBanana · 27/05/2015 10:28

No advice but...

When I was in my early 30s ( I am now in my late 40's) I went out with a guy who was 10 years younger than me. We were talking about where we were when... Eg Diana died etc.

He asked me where I was when Kennedy was shot!

Blush
Plarail123 · 27/05/2015 10:39

GO. FOR. IT. That is all.

chrome100 · 27/05/2015 10:42

I met my DP when I was 30 and he was 20. To be honest I thought it would just be a bit of fun. But, 4 years on we're still together, buying a house, planning a future etc. Age really isn't a barrier if it's meant to be.

Original poster
Taytocrisps101 · 27/05/2015 12:01

Lots to think about! I am under no illusion that it would be a "relationship" and wouldn't want one with someone so young either. Would obviously practise safe sex if it got that far....might be meeting him for coffee tomorrow somewhere neutral so will see what happens......this is very out of character for me!

OP posts:
Golferman · 27/05/2015 13:55

I wouldn't worry about it, I'm 62 and shagged a 27 year old. As long as both are happy why not? Life is too short.

LikeIcan · 27/05/2015 14:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

rosepetalsoup · 27/05/2015 14:19

You're not mad you're… lucky!

Do him it.

Golferman · 27/05/2015 14:21

FFS .......

Offred · 27/05/2015 14:31

Covering yourself in glory again golferman?! Eee...

SirChenjin · 27/05/2015 14:36

Nope - wouldn't interest me. Our reference points would be totally different, and having a son who is almost 18 makes me very conscious of how inexperienced young men in their early 20s are. 20 years is too much of an age gap for a LTR - a one night stand, maybe, but nothing more (and I'd feel exactly the same if it was the other way around..)

Lagoonablue · 27/05/2015 14:53

The poster using the word shagged at 62.......sorry it makes someone gag.

Be?ause there is clearly an age cut off for certain words is there?

Ffs. MN never ceases to amaze me with it's entrenched and overt ageism.

fearandloathinginambridge · 27/05/2015 15:44

Old ladies that shag are disgusting

Young men in their 20's are only after one thing and are all too dumb to engage in conversation with a woman in her 40's.

Ageism and massive generalisations about age going on in all directions on this thread.

fearandloathinginambridge · 27/05/2015 15:46

Oh and I forgot the classic ...

Everybody who wants a relationship with someone 20 years their junior is a massive pervert.

MyRightFoot · 27/05/2015 15:55

go for it. my current is 17 years younger. we adore each other but i have no desire to live with a man again. we actually do have some hobbies in common so its not all about sex. it will end but i will never regret it, i love his positivity and his non judgement.