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Original poster

don't want to rush it but I really like him!

34 replies

MollySox · 26/05/2015 08:19

Hi everyone - looking for a bit of advic on this situation!

A couple of months ago I started seeing a guy. I've known him a while and he is good friends with my older brother. I used to see him all the time in bars and we would stay together all night chatting. We kissed and he started txting me and a few weeks later we slept together. We slept together twice but never went on a date. He asked me once and then made an excuse and it never happened. After a bit things fizzled out and we didn't really text that often.

I saw him again over the bank holiday and we stayed together again and he came back to my house. It turns out he has just bought a house and he's been on holiday, so I understand why he may have been quiet. He also said I used to text him all the time but I never do no more. He was on his phone and there were quite a lot of txts off people who he hadn't read, and he said he just forgets. He did this with me a few times and I thought it was just me but seems like he is that kind of person anyway?!

He was really sweet yesterday and stayed at my house until tea time. He went back out with his mates and texted me and then later on he asked if I wanted to go bowling. I said yes and he never replied. I know he was out with friends but he read the txt and didn't reply.

I want to take things slow (I feel I tried rushing things before) and want him to chase me, not the other way round. Shall I just wait for him to txt me again or do I ask him? what if he never asks again?!

Thanks :)

OP posts:
Lj8893 · 26/05/2015 09:05

I'm sorry but it sounds like he fancies you but isn't after anything serious. If he really liked you he would be making much more effort.

GinSoakedBitchyPony · 26/05/2015 09:07

You two are not at all on the same page.
Stop contacting this guy and focus your interst elsewhere.

Horsemad · 26/05/2015 09:11

If he wanted you, he'd be in touch believe me! Wink

Original poster
MollySox · 26/05/2015 09:19

so do I just leave it, rather than texting him asking how he is? I want to give him the benefit of doubt for the quiet period, but I do understand how it looks like he isn't arsed aswell!

OP posts:
Lj8893 · 26/05/2015 09:21

I would just leave him be. He will contact you if he wants to. To be honest, I couldn't be doing with someone who keeps in contact so sporadically and would be over him already.

SabrinaTheTeenageWitch · 26/05/2015 09:23

Let him contact you. Don't text him. If he's interested and wants it to go anywhere he will be in touch.

GammonAndEgg · 26/05/2015 09:33

And stop sleeping with him!

pictish · 26/05/2015 09:39

Agree with the others...leave the ball in his court now. At present you are in danger of becoming a booty call. In fact, at the moment you are a booty call.

If he's got any intentions of developing things further he will be in touch. Don't chase him any more. Don't sleep with him on a whim again. Make him work for you.
If he doesn't bother you have your answer.

VeryVeryDarkGrey · 26/05/2015 09:43

If he was interested he would text you back sraight away. I had a "friend"who treated me like this and now i'm seeing someone else my new guy wants to see me and always texts me back. Incidentally the friend is now quite keen but im not interested anymore!

GinSoakedBitchyPony · 26/05/2015 10:03

You're not 'seeing him', OP. You haven't been on a date together. You two have shagged twice, and since then his interest has waned.
The way you're describing it, he's just looking for some fun. While there's nothing wrong with that, you seem to have the impression that it's more than that. At the moment it isn't. It may never be.
So if he's interested in developing it further, he'll be in touch. And he'll take you out on a date, it won't just be another booty call.

Original poster
MollySox · 26/05/2015 10:24

I know I wasn't seeing him but didn't know how to describe it :) we used to text a lot, and we know each other pretty well anyway so it wasn't as if it was "new" as such. I will see if he mentions this bowling thing again x

OP posts:
GinSoakedBitchyPony · 26/05/2015 10:42

How old are you both?

Fudgeface123 · 26/05/2015 10:46

Doesn't sound like he's that into you, apart from sex. If he was he'd be falling over himself to reply to you.

Cut your losses, it's early days, he's not interested.

Original poster
MollySox · 26/05/2015 10:50

25 & 27. he's never had a serious girlfriend before, in fact I've never known him to have a girlfriend! have known him around 5 years.

OP posts:
molyholy · 26/05/2015 10:52

Sorry to be blunt, but he is not interested. He would have contacted you for a proper date by now if he wanted to. Don't shag him again if you are hoping for something to come from this. You will just end up getting hurt.

Vivacia · 26/05/2015 10:57

You two are not at all on the same page. Stop contacting this guy and focus your interest elsewhere.

This, this, this.

LadyBlaBlah · 26/05/2015 13:13

He's flaky

Move along. You want something else.

SoleSource · 26/05/2015 13:24

You do want more than he does. Stop letting him penetrate your fortress. No more contact from you. Tell him you want more if he texts you again. If he takes this badly then you have your answer. Don't be friends with him either. Move on.

Original poster
MollySox · 26/05/2015 13:46

he's one of my brothers best friends it would be hard to not be friends with him, I'll see if he mentions this bowling thing again and if not ill just forget it and make clear I'm not interested in a sexual way

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 26/05/2015 13:48

He sees you as a fuck buddy

if that's not what you want then stop making yourself so available, it's humiliating for you

Original poster
MollySox · 26/05/2015 13:56

is it bad to say I wouldn't mind that anyfucker?! it's all a bit of fun...

OP posts:
Vivacia · 26/05/2015 13:59

Fun doesn't normally include asking for help on relationship support forums.

Original poster
MollySox · 26/05/2015 14:02

vivacia haha that is true, but I meant the sex part is. I will have to wait and see what he wants and go from there. thanks guys.

OP posts:
GinSoakedBitchyPony · 26/05/2015 14:07

"he's one of my brothers best friends "

This sounds familiar. have you posted about him previously?

You're fooling yourself if you think you just want a bit of fun with this guy.

AnyFucker · 26/05/2015 14:09

Your op doesn't give the impression that you were only interested in a no strings fuck buddy arrangement

men who will use you just 'love' it when women try to convince themselves they are up for this

be sure that is really your intention and that you are not doing yourself a dis service by deluding yourself

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