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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Did I do the right thing?

26 replies

patch123 · 25/05/2015 09:01

Hi.. I am feeling confused and regretful and wondering if I did the right thing leaving my Husband. We seperated 3 years ago and although we'd been uphappy for a while he didn't want it to happen. For a good 2years afterwards he would have got back together but I was adament we shouldn't. We split up because we had very different parenting styles, we didn't have any fun or respect for one another, we didn't even sleep in the same room, let alone have a love life and he was, I thought at the time, emtionally abusive to me and my eldest Son. But now I am questioning that and feeling it was my fault and that is what happens in most marriages. My eldest Son is now 11yr and really suffering with us splitting up and I am in panic mode thinking what the hell did I do? An example of how he treated us is he would constantly put me down in front of the boys. I once had the window open in summer and the boys and I were having lunch and he came in the kitchen and said "why have you got the f*** window open, you idiot?" and slammed it shut. He told me I wasn't brought up correctly and I was a freak as I used to have a carrier bag instead of using the bin as I liked to change it regularly as the bin was big so things used to smell. When my second son was a few weeks old, I'd been upstairs breat feeding for hours and he was still crying and I was exhausted, I called down and asked if he could come and help and he came in and said "you're useless".. things like that.. He was pretty miserable and negative all the time and hard on our children but now I'm thinking is that just how men are? They are the harsh ones and we are the softer ones. His good points were he was very loyal and a good, decent man which showed sometimes but living every day with the negative side was hard. My son used to cry and say he wished Daddy was nicer and actually they both still do as he is still like that. But really feeling like I should have not broken the marriage up and just accepted that was how things were and got on with it. Then my children would not be feeling so sad now. I'm sorry this is garbled and probably doesn't make sense. Any perspective on this would be good? Thanks

OP posts:
IMurderedStampyLongnose · 25/05/2015 09:08

Hi OP,it sounds to me like you absolutely did the right thing.He sounds like a bully,and as if he is still continuing to bully your DC.Your 11yo is at a difficult age,and would've been a hell of a lot more unhappy had you stayed in your marriage.You did the right thingFlowers

pog100 · 25/05/2015 09:10

I am a man and no, this isn't the way "men" behave. We mostly show respect to other people, whatever their gender, just like most women do. It isn't easy breaking up and I suspect you had more than enough reasons.
There will be a lot more useful advice along in a minute.

Goldmandra · 25/05/2015 09:19

Your children are much better off for the fact that they don't have to live with this awful behaviour every day and they don't have to watch it inflicted on you all the time.

it isn't normal or reasonable behaviour and you really don't want them to grow up accepting it or inflicting it on someone else.

You and your DCs can treat each other with respect in your home and they will grow up understanding that their father is not a good role model. Hopefully that will mean they and their future spouses and children will be happier.

Don't go back to this abuse.

Lovingfreedom · 25/05/2015 09:20

Yeah you could have stayed in that miserable marriage. Try to move on.

M00nUnit · 25/05/2015 09:23

You poor thing, your ex sounds vile! And no that's not "just how men are". Well done for doing the right thing and splitting with him.

flora717 · 25/05/2015 09:23

In the situation where your DC have such a strong influence from such a negative, abusive man it is good that you did not accept things as they were. Make it clear to your sons that appalling behaviour they have and do witness is unacceptable.
He was not a "good and decent man" as that is not consistent with the man you describe. Do not present him as "overall good" to your sons. Let them conclude for themselves, support them to talk about how they want to interact with him.

Joysmum · 25/05/2015 09:27

Hell no that's not how men are and my marriage is nothing like you describe and we've been together 22 years. No way I'd have married if I thought that was normal.

patch123 · 25/05/2015 09:28

Thanks. It just feels like I should have done more to try and get him to change. I did alot btw (relate, talking, being nice, being firm ). My husband now has a new girlfriend who he is moving in with soon and she seems to have no problem with him although I know that he will have his "good behaviour" side out with her and of course, they don't have the pressures of children with them 24/7, only sometimes. My partner and I don't liive together as he also finds children hard as he has none (am I picking the wrong men here?!Confused) but thst also made me think, how is my ex moving on and I'm not, is it actually me that has a problem?

OP posts:
Joysmum · 25/05/2015 09:29

By the way, if you're questioning whether men and marriage are like that as 'normal' just think what you've saved your son from Wink

patch123 · 25/05/2015 09:30

And in case you think I'm extra crazy, before and a little while after we married, he was a gentle, kind and funny man. All went wrong when our Son was born. Jealousy? Immaturity?

OP posts:
Lovingfreedom · 25/05/2015 09:39

Your ex will give new gf the same treatment. And yes...maybe try to choose different type of man in future. X

badbaldingballerina123 · 25/05/2015 10:29

If you've been separated for three years I don't understand why your 11 year old son is still so upset ? Does he see your ex h regularly ?

temporarilyjerry · 25/05/2015 10:59

It just feels like I should have done more to try and get him to change.

You can't change him. You say that he didn't want to separate but what did he do about it? Did he go for counselling?

You really don't know what he is like with his new girlfriend. He may still be on his best behaviour with her but even if he treats her in the way he treated you, you wouldn't know.

Fairenuff · 25/05/2015 11:05

Abusive men often don't show their true colours until the first child is born OP so he was just managing to hide it from you. After all, you wouldn't have gone ahead and had children with him if you had known what he was really like.

You did the right thing. You absolutely did what was best for you and your children. I think you would benefit from some counselling for yourself and maybe for your children.

Cabrinha · 25/05/2015 11:08

His upside was that he was loyal and a good decent man?

But you described the very opposite.

Really - loyalty? Loyalty is the exact opposite of putting you down! Loyalty is supporting you.

Your son would be a hell of a lot more sad if you were still with this nasty bit of work.

I use carriers for bins too Grin

Well done for getting shot of him, really.

Fairenuff · 25/05/2015 11:09

My partner and I don't liive together as he also finds children hard as he has none (am I picking the wrong men here?

It may be that the wrong men are finding you OP. Decent men back off when they sense that they have upset a woman. Abusive men keep pushing.

It's obviously a lot more complicated than that but if a man is causing you (or your children) distress, worry or harm of any kind, it's probably time to reassess the relationship.

TheVermiciousKnid · 25/05/2015 11:10

You did the right thing! No, not all men are like that, my husband certainly isn't. And he is not a decent man if he talks to you and your children like that.

Abuse, including emotional abuse, often starts during or just after pregnancy, so you saying All went wrong when our son was born is not at all unusual. It may well have been a case of jealousy, but you were also in a much more vulnerable position, which often seems to result in abuse starting/escalating.

So yes, you did absolutely the right thing, for yourself and for your son. :)

PrincessOrElsa · 25/05/2015 11:54

Yes you 100% did the right thing. He sounds like a horrible piece of work - well done for limiting your son's exposure to him. You could never have "changed" him.

I think him getting a new GW has make you question yourself, but remember he's obviously good at hooking in people at first, before he switches to utter twat mode. Stay strong and enjoy your freedom!

FryOneFatManic · 25/05/2015 11:58

It just feels like I should have done more to try and get him to change.

Nothing you tried would have worked unless he wanted to change. People can only ever change themselves.

goddessofsmallthings · 25/05/2015 19:36

How often do your dc have contact with their df and do they stay overnight/spend holidays with him? Are they eager to see him and do they appear happy/sad/indifferent when they return home to you? In what way is your 11yo ds "really suffering"?

At 8yo he emerged from the years of 'magical thinking' to a reality in which all he'd known was altered and it's possible that, in his perception, this change appeared to take place overnight giving him little time to fully comprehend the new order and the reasons for it.

Could he be holding himself responsible for his dps splitting up? Does he feel he has to be the 'the man' of your household? Do the majority of his friends live in happy 2-parent households?

Both of your dcs may be conflicted because the life they lived with you and their df was all they knew; it was their 'normal' and they may still not appreciate the extent to which it was, in fact, abnormal.

As you''ve been separated for more than 2 years and your h is moving in with his gf, now could be the optimum time to petition for divorce by mutual consent which will provide opportunity for you to have age-appropriate conversations with each, and both, of your dc as to why it was not in anyone's best interests for their dps to remain living together as a family unit.

Your live-out partner sounds about as much use as a chocolate teapot is clearly a less than impressive role model for your boys and, depending on how much contact they have with him, this may be compounding any feelings of conflict they are experiencing.

To their minds replacing their df with another misery guts who cannot relate to children may seem inexplicable behaviour on your part, but neither of them are yet at an age where they can easily verbalise complex feelings.

Your eldest is now on the cusp of puberty and my concern is that he may begin to mirror his df's behaviour towards you, with the inherent danger that your youngest may follow in his older brother's footsteps, so to speak.

If you're feeling that history is to some extent repeating itself in your choice of men to mate with, counsellng may help to unravel why you settle for less than you deserve but, imo, your priority should be to arrange some form of therapeutic input for your dcs before their teenage years bite you on the bum as, needless to say, they're unlikely to express or act out any hormonal angst to their repressive df.

Another carrier bag/bin liner fan here - life is far too short to hose out smelly bins Smile

bunchoffives · 25/05/2015 19:49

I too think you did the right thing - the only thing - you could do. Imagine how you would feel now if you had stayed married. Your self-confidence would have long ago shrivelled to nothing. You would be depressed and withdrawn, worrying about leaving, on eggshells all the time so as not to upset him. It was definitely the right decision OP.

I strongly suggest you do the Freedom programme to educate yourself about abusive men. What you describe is emotional abuse. The man you are now seeing who you don't live with because he 'finds children hard' sounds like a tosser sounds that he might not be quite right for you (as you do indeed have children).

It is very common to keep forming relationships with abusive men because you will tolerate them, whereas most women will not. Your road to better relationships starts with the Freedom prog/educating yourself about emotional abuse. Why Does He Do That? Lundy Bancroft is a good book to start with.

patch123 · 25/05/2015 22:50

Thanks for the carrier bag support Smile. My Son is getting counselling. They aee their df ever weds and every other weekend and they generally don't want yo go as "daddy is always shouting" and have occasionally had to get him as he's sobbibg down the phone because he cant sleep and his Dad has gone mental at him. (Why am I even questioning why I left him?l). They both also mirtor their Dad and speak to me like dirt sometimes. My eldest son has developed tics through anxiety, which the counselling is there to help find out why, he is suffering at school, hehas angry outbursts... but he also loves his Dad and remembers the memories and it breaks my heart to hold him while he sobs. He recently told me "if I had one wish for my birthday it would be that Dad was nice to us"... Sad

OP posts:
patch123 · 25/05/2015 22:53

My current partner has tried hard to form a bond with both my boys but his overriding instinct is irritation and harshness in my opinion. But... it must hard coming from just you to a noisy family, right? He says I am laidback parent but I just believe in respecting children and talking things through... not just being a dictator

OP posts:
patch123 · 25/05/2015 22:53

Thanks, will look at freedom programme

OP posts:
missqwerty · 25/05/2015 23:05

Yes deffinately abusive. That is not what happens in all marriages at all. I get married in August, do we argue? yes! We sometimes snap and say things in the heat of the moment but it's rare and it's never name calling or put downs.

You did right to leave, your child doesn't understand but had you stayed he would have copied his dad's behaviour, eventually to you as a teen too. He has the chance now to learn how to respect future a future DP, had you stayed his future could have been chaotic. When your child grows up and reflects on things, he will understand. He's too young now to grasp the situation that's all. Dnot beat yourself up