Hi.. I am feeling confused and regretful and wondering if I did the right thing leaving my Husband. We seperated 3 years ago and although we'd been uphappy for a while he didn't want it to happen. For a good 2years afterwards he would have got back together but I was adament we shouldn't. We split up because we had very different parenting styles, we didn't have any fun or respect for one another, we didn't even sleep in the same room, let alone have a love life and he was, I thought at the time, emtionally abusive to me and my eldest Son. But now I am questioning that and feeling it was my fault and that is what happens in most marriages. My eldest Son is now 11yr and really suffering with us splitting up and I am in panic mode thinking what the hell did I do? An example of how he treated us is he would constantly put me down in front of the boys. I once had the window open in summer and the boys and I were having lunch and he came in the kitchen and said "why have you got the f*** window open, you idiot?" and slammed it shut. He told me I wasn't brought up correctly and I was a freak as I used to have a carrier bag instead of using the bin as I liked to change it regularly as the bin was big so things used to smell. When my second son was a few weeks old, I'd been upstairs breat feeding for hours and he was still crying and I was exhausted, I called down and asked if he could come and help and he came in and said "you're useless".. things like that.. He was pretty miserable and negative all the time and hard on our children but now I'm thinking is that just how men are? They are the harsh ones and we are the softer ones. His good points were he was very loyal and a good, decent man which showed sometimes but living every day with the negative side was hard. My son used to cry and say he wished Daddy was nicer and actually they both still do as he is still like that. But really feeling like I should have not broken the marriage up and just accepted that was how things were and got on with it. Then my children would not be feeling so sad now. I'm sorry this is garbled and probably doesn't make sense. Any perspective on this would be good? Thanks