MANY abusers go to the docs to get a diagnosis/medication so they can play the depression card, they don't take the meds though.
having been on ADs myself, I understand, IME the side effects are hideous, if you don't need to take them, you seriously wouldn't. In my case they didn't work anyway, not past a few weeks anyway no matter which one I tried. Interesting he says it affects his behaviour... what makes him NICER? :)
They are all so lovely because that is what they want you to believe - they pour love and attention that they want back - but only for them. they don't want you to have it, it is merely about what they need. to begin with this bouncing off of attention/affection is enough, as they are so starved, but like any drug, they need more and more.
It gets harder and harder for them to maintain the nice, because the nice is not natural.
this is why you need a good 2 years to see who someone really is.
Any one of us would be mortified at the situation, and would be falling over themselves to find out the status quo. If this were a neighbour even, you'd pop round and apologise and give them some satisfaction as to why you'd behaved the way you did, you would perhaps even try to justify it, what you wouldn't do is sulk and blame them, not when you have had a chance to reflect. Depression is anger turned inwards, it is insecurity and directed at self, yes you can lash out when frightened, but the thought of someone hating you more than you hate yourself is unbearable.
IME anyway.