The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Shaping Up For A Super, Sober Summer!

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse

This is 'Gerald', our trustworthy, non judgemental Bus, full of a variety of posters who have travelled long and far, or even just joined us a few stops ago.

This is a place where you can be who YOU want to be. 24/7, 365. This lovely place is just like your best friend, there's no slagging off, no judging, just us.

Drinking or not, embarrassed, fed up of the way things are, or just lonely of living the way drinking makes you do, come and take a peek and see what you think.....

THIS THE LAST THREAD WE HAD

AND THIS IS WHERE THE BUS WAS BUILT, WHERE IT ALL BEGAN

We can't wait to meet you, we won't bite! Well, unless you ask very nicely.

Take good care until we see you. :) xx

Hi babes, just had a lightbulb moment, I just watched yesterday's this morning segment on alcoholism on On Demsnd on the back on Charles Kennedy's death and Jim Davidson was on. He said something that summed me up to a tee, he said "I can never have one of anything", if he buys a shirt he buys 5 colours, I'm exactly the same, if I like a top I buy 3 in different colours, 2 of the same lipsticks, I have several fake tans I alternate, during the height of my depression I was buying anything and everything, trying to fill the void, the fleeting moment of elation when a package arrived punctuated the nothingness in my soul. I have never understood why anyone would want one drink , what's the point, I'd rather have none. Can't have one biscuit if there's a packet, if I cheat on my diet it's leads to a mega binge til the next Monday, if I drink on a Friday night it leads to a binge lasting days. I cannot moderate with ANYTHING, that's also very very true of my emotions, all sugar or all shite. It made a lot of sense and I will be more mindful of this in future.

Does anyone else share this trait?

Xxxx

morning all. Hope everyone is ok.
Just popping in to say I'm ok. In July I will have been sober 3 years.
Best decision I ever made.
I just don't even think about alcohol now.
Keep fighting everyone

Wow, well done Trinity and thanks for popping back to inspire us. I cannot imagine three months, let alone 3 years, keep thinking I can moderate, but I mostly can't

Baby, yes -that's me. I think I hold the world record for number of nail polishes a human being owns, it's not even funny. And I can diet with the single minded determination of an orthorectic, yes one piece of white toast and dairylea consumed mindlessly has me eating crap for days on the grounds of 'well, I'll go back on the diet Monday so I now must eat everything I ever missed for the past fortnight.' Exercise the same - all or nothing. I have a vest top in every shade and more FitFlops than I need... Anyone else??

Just had an update on VR - there is no update. Getting so frustrated. Am going to lose my job offer at this rate... and they are just dragging their heels. At least the sun is out today though. Going to do some gardening in a bit,

Day 4 here. Won't drink tonight as am driving ds to training. Wankbadger is annoying me a lot though. Sniping and snarling and just being a general misery. I can't even hide it any more. Trying to keep the peace though as have to spend weekend with in-laws - family memorial service for f-i-l and dinner with them all the night before. Bringing up all my grievances at such a time would be insensitive and it's not like I've been trying to explain why I'm so pissed off for the past five years Dreading it but trying not to project.

Guggs yes I am a bit happier but it is just the 'not being hungover and feeling the post booze fear' happiness. Not a change in my actual circumstances, which are still really bugging me. But that programme scared me a lot, and what you said about Vanda is true. If you keep drinking you just keep on raking over the same old grievances but without the energy to do anything about it. I have wasted too many years doing that. Next step is scary though....

Have been reading all the LTB threads in relationships. Some of those women have sad situations that reflect mine, married the wrong person, feel unloved, stay for the kids or because can't afford to set up two homes etc - but the sheer bullying and sanctimoniousness of some of the people who respond to the OPs is horrific. Smug people going 'I have very high standards in my relationships', 'you can't be unhappy enough or you would just walk out in the clothes you are stood up in' or 'you have probably damaged your children' or 'you are dysfunctional'. Can't help thinking that some of these posters, if god forbid their husbands buggered off, had an affair, got arrested, stopped being so damned henpecked perfect, would probably find life hard and want a bit of hand holding too. It's a bear pit out there - I'm sticking on the bus...

Waves to Obrigada, Joey, Venus, Ma, Mouse,April and anyone else lurking on this fine sunny morning. Keeping on Keeping on....

(by the way not criticising anyone in a happy marriage or suggesting that the only people who have this achieve it by henpecking! Just meant that some of those particular posters sounds so bloody terrifying and self righteous that I pity their RL associates! One woman spent a whole thread virtually screaming at someone for having a battered old car to get to work and accused her of living in luxury even though the OP had clearly said she couldn't get her car fixed and afford to eat because her rich ex wasn't paying child maintenance. Some very worrying women out there...)

hey hope. Well done on the swimming. I know how hard it is to haul yourself out of bed and do something positive when things are shit, so well done you. Was laughing at your post this morning, as I too swallowed my multi-vits, Evening Primrose Oil and Citalopram......

Agree with the LTB harpies. Because it's so easy to do, no????

Trinity that is fantastic! Apparantly once you've been sober for a few years then all the damage to the brain as well as the liver begins to repair. As in growing new synapses and an increased memory span. Well done.

baby They used to talk a lot about addictive personality in AA. I'm NOT saying that you have this by the way just that it's supposed to be quite a typical personailty trait for drinkers. I think I have the other main types which is to be ridiculously oversensitive about bloody everything. I can't take criticism at all,I just give things up! Stupid.

looking It was an amazing documentary,wasn't it? I think we can all be a bit like poor Vanda though she really was at that end stage of drinking.

As for some of the other threads...terrifying! The lack of empathy is astounding. I've sort of come to the conclusion that some people lead charmed lives and truely have no idea what it's like to struggle with anything.There are some appalling responses to disability too. I once ventured onto aibu and got a minor flaming...never again! I womble between these threads and sn,which it just as wonderful and compassionate a place as the bus.

Am planning on taking my lardy arse swimming tomorrow.

trinity always lovely to hear from you - what an amazing journey you have been on over the years, really tough, and still you have continued. I am so happy for you

Better day today. Am exciting about my new proposal and hope to be able to work it up. Problem is my I.T. skills are crap. Is anyone good at diagrams and stuff?????

My dd is Ma. She tidied up a massive presentation for me and made it amazing. Suggest you write the copy and then ask ds to do the techie stuff. I paid dd in bath bombs

Ooh,hope might take you up on that....

Hi ladies Day 4 here. Had the mother of all hangovers on Sunday. Can't actually remember how much I drank on Saturday but it totally wiped out the whole of Sunday (how wonderful must hangover-free Sundays be!!). DS and his gf went out on Saturday evening and on Sunday morning I said to DH "I wonder what time they got home". DH looked at me like I was going mad and said "you were still up when they got back. You were chatting to them for about 20 minutes!" I had absolutely no recollection of that whatsoever. It really frightened me. I swear DH thinks I've got alzheimers. I think that was a real wake up call for me (plus the other day someone in the shop thought my youngest DD was my granddaughter! ). I had about 3 glasses on Sunday but haven't drank since. I already feel so much better and have been going to bed early and reading. Usually too pissed to read. Early days yet and cravings still really strong, particularly between 5 and 7. Just hope I manage my first AF weekend for the first time in a very long time.

Baby I didn't see the Good Morning interview but yes that sounds just like me too. Don't get me started on my ebay addiction. The postman spends so much time delivering parcels here he's like part of the family now! Congratulations Trinity Three years, that's brilliant! And great to hear you don't even think of booze anymore .

Hope you're all ok babes. Have a lovely evening xx

Well done on 4 days hands

Evening, tis me, Mouse

TRINITY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [SHOCK] has it really been 3 years? Do you know how proud this little Mouse is of you right now you beautiful woman? You have come through SO bloody much.

Ever wall that life built at you, you'd hit, you'd smash into it at 1000mph, no seatbelt, just a life full of hate, pain, sorrow, grief, rolling over and over again and again.....

You fell, you got up, you fell bloody harder, you climbed higher. You leapt off a cliff, and the Bus caught you.

And this time, this time darling superstar YOU are STILL as dry as a Nun's fanjo!

Seriously, I love you Trin, you bloody rock. I hope that the girls are okay, I really do, and I know that having their mum back, and their life is finally settling down, as is yours.

One less thing to worry about. We've all missed you, we really have.

The fact that you're here posting on here SOBER after a Mouse's whisker from 3 years is absolutely beyond fantastic.

Please tell me you are proud of all that you have achieved, all of those walls you've knocked down. All of the shit that hit the fan is cleared away, gone, finely finished and DONE.

xxx

CONGRATULATIONS :) :) :)

Hands - 4 DAYS!!! WOW!

Your cravings are the same as mine and actually most of the posters are, around cooking dinner, being in the kitchen, closing the door after a crap day and thinking what time would be 'ok' to have a drink.

'A' drink.....

You got past your trigger for 4 days! That's 96 hours plus...... think of all of the times you've drunk those hours away. In the past, so did I. We all have...

Days, weeks, months. It all adds up and you are starting to see things differently, your posts reflect that. :) xxx

Ma - without sounding condescending, re diagrams etc, you can get most PC's to do it for you... you chose a template, on your control panel, go into diagrams/templates/word/doc etc, fill in the bits and the pc or laptop should do the rest for you. Or maybe my software was different to what you have. I'm glad things are feeling better in your life lovely xxx

Hope - I've been to hell and back with men over the years. and I mean in every way that you could imagine. But now, now I have my gorgeous, wonderful, amazingly supportive, caring husband who would walk over fire to keep me safe and sober.....

During my lightbulb (or rather giant floodlight) moment, he was my crutch, my arms to fall into at the end of a shitty days, or to put around me when I was in my darkest of places..... My DH is my hero, as vom inducing as that is, it's true.

Before I really got to know him, every time we'd have a slightly warmed conversation, I'd flinch, shout at him and then leave, I'd start an argument so that he'd show his 'true colours', provoke him..... wait for the anger, the snide comments, the aggression.

What I got instead, was a man who ran after me after I drank too much at a business 'do' I'd gone to with him and thought he was flirting with some woman....

I grabbed my bag, coat and stormed out. Walked virtually all of the way home with him behind me begging me to stop, listen and talk. He flagged a cab and made the cab drive next to me, asking me to get in (it was cold and I had no coat) and the cabby was lovely, he asked if I was okay and I said yes. Just stubborn (read scared and unsure) and wanted to get home.

Anyway, after 10 mins I was in his arms, in the cab, him holding me and he took me home, to my house, I paid the sitter, made sure I was safe, stayed with me, him on the sofa all night, and the next day, called a cab before DD woke - 5am - and left, making sure to lock the door and put my keys through the letter box. He'd left a note on the dresser in my room. It said "Thank you for believing I am not like other guys."

And he's not, which is why I married him. :)

We had a few more dates, a few more of those cycles.... my behaviour, never him, and then I finally realised that he wasn't going to beat me for buying the wrong fish.

For not washing his navy socks to go with is suit for the important meeting the next day.

Eventually, I gave him a key, 7 months down the line, I introduced him to DD. She was lovely. He was lovely.

I gave him a key not long after that until his ex had fucked off. (They'd already split before we hooked up)

Anyway, sorry for waffling on. I LOVE MY HUSBAND. :)

Hello to baby, obrigada, venus, guggs, April, and all the other wonderful babes I've not waffled onto in great detail!!

Now, time for bed. DH is almost better, but I'm still in my bed with Nemo to make life easier.

My pain is bad today.... apparently, I've got Osteoarthritis. which is in my hips, knees and pelvis.

My back kind of caused all of this.... everything has a knock on effect.

So, I promise to shut up now and will let you aa go to bed.

Tonight I am sober, and am very happy to be so as DH is poorly, Nemo is in our bed so I don't have to keep get to him multiple times, so that I can rest too.

Stay safe all of you. No matter where you are in your journey. :)

Mouse xxx

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Sorry for the typos last night, I was catching up on tv and typing at the same time!

Anyway, I'm going back to bed as me knees are soooooooooooooo sore at the moment, I need some rest and the doctor!

Back later. xxx

Whoo whoo! I finally left the bathroom! [schock]
Stomach flu was horrid, horrid, horrid. Went off on Monday and only just felt better yesterday. I can understand why old people die of dehydration when they're ill, seriously.

Mouse your post about your DH is beautiful.

Have a good one, darling Babes.

xxx

Khalisi - that is weird, I was ill for 24+ hours last week and thought I would never see the rest of the house ever again. The trouble was, all the retching made my back condition and knees even worse so I was then bed bound for 3 days!

I volunteer and help a lady who is 85. She had the same thing, she's on her own and was actually lay on the bathroom floor for the entire night once her body had stopped trying to expelling from every orifice.

She lives in a warden controlled house but still, you just don't know do you? :(

I'm so glad that you're better lovely! Being sick and having cramps, sat on the loo, your head in a bucket, is just horrid. Plenty of water or get some dioralyte on board if you can. xxx

Nemo has a party soon so we're off to that! Should be good but he's shattered so we'll see how he gets on as it's one of those soft play places.

I shall check back in later. I need some help with something important but not sure I should put it here..... it's not drink related, but the way things are going, it could be!

Sounds mysterious mouse!
How is everyone? Nothing much to report here for once. Been to visit dad, Ds on a sleepover, dd1 out somewhere and dh shuffling about like a Groke.

Ok here Ma. Been for a run, enjoyed the sun. Visited a wise old friend for the afternoon. WB being uncharacteristically pleasant ... Possibly guilt, as have got a perfectly vile weekend ahead as its a memorial service for fil, so have to go to dinner with his extended family tomorrow night and spend all day Sunday with them . Suspect he has been badmouthing me to his vile, vile sister, and is worried she will be snide in public. I am feeling good for being 5 days AF and hoping tomorrow night won't push me over the edge

Next week they have found me a project at work. Typical. The minute the sun comes out

Have a great weekend babes.

PS Ma pmsl at 'groke'

Only Moomin fans will understand the Groke. I always felt sorry for her....
5 days AF is awesome hope . am very impressed.

Not sure I will last the course tomorrow though Ma. S-i-l is such a COW and sets me so on edge. Keep offering to stay at home with the kids, but not being heard. I swear she would drive a saint to drink (she is a bitchy loud drunk herself). May have to post throughout the meal to let off steam ...

Post away. She sounds horrible. If she starts on you tell her what a wankbadger her brother is!

I think she knows, but they are a clannish lot. Don't like each other but like everyone else even less . By the way Ma, have you seen Moomins on the Riviera yet? It is gorgeous

No, but I love the books. Moominmama and Snufkin and Little My and the Ancestor who lives under the sink......

And Snorkmaiden!