DP and text messages

[PatMullins]

I'm pretty sure this will put me in RL but I need somewhere to get this out

Yesterday I needed to use DP's laptop. His text messages pop up on there as they are sent/received.

The most recent exchange was him discussing his (our, but zero mention of me..) upcoming gym membership with a woman he knows from when he used to attend (before we were together)
She was trying to convince him to join her gym, him asking her to join one near us- long story short it turns out they want to be each others "motivation" and her being there would make it "worth the trip"...charming really, since we were planning on going together

This morning I tried to be nosy..I know, I know.
He has put a password on the laptop message thing.
He's taking his phone everywhere, it hasn't left his side.

I really don't know what to make of this, and I'm not sure if I'm making a bit deal about nothing?

And yes I took pictures of the exchange and emailed them to myself.

We spoke last night after I broke down in tears
I can tell he feels awful but that doesn't change what he did.

Does this ever get better?

It sounds like he was flattered by her attention after all these years. Hopefully, you can move forward and get beyond this.

So what has he said apart from "it was nothing". What is he going to do to put things right?

The ball is in court now. What he says now and how he acts now are really vital

He did say exactly that, Rivercam

Annoyingly it wasn't that long ago, 4/5 to be precise

4/5 years* ago

He hasn't said much at all, I've done most of the talking- mostly verbal diarrhoea. It all just feels like pretty standard stuff.

He loves me, it will never happen again, he's sorry, he will earn my trust back

But how?

They key thing here Pat is if you hadn't caught him out he would still be doing it and you would be clueless.

They are always sorry when they get caught, but if they hadn't got caught they would just carry on betraying their partner - because that's what it is - whether it's emotional, physical, flirting, banter, it makes no difference ... it's still betrayal.

It's always the same with these fuckers. They are always so sorry when they get caught out ... but never sorry enough to not do it in the first place. Rarely sorry enough to stop of their own accord.

I think actions will speak louder than words from now onwards. Providing he is honest and open from no onwards, you will be fine. He ego obviously had a boost, but it looks like you have nipped it in the bud. It sounds like he wants to move forward with you.

I don't think you will ever trust him again. But you can get back on track. It is hurtful really hurtful but this isn't a reflection on you - this is his own ego.

I'd ask for all passwords to every thing - that's a start.

Speaking from a similar experience.