Unprotected sex with husband

[GinaGirley]

I don't like the idea of letting my husband ejaculate inside me.

We've been together for 21 years, and have 3 kids. When we started having sex, we used condoms, but for a while, I went on the pill, but I don't like that as the hormones make me feel different (and I gain weight!) So we've been using condoms ever since, apart from when we were having kids.

We often start having sex unprotected, but then we stop for him to put a condom on. We decided that as this was a bit risky, and that neither of us want and further kids, he had a vasectomy a few years ago. The thing is, I still want him to use condoms, which he does, but he wants to be able to have full sex to completion as it feels nicer for him. I understand this, but I just don't like the idea of having his cum in me.

Some of my friends say I'm being a bit ridiculous, and that sex is supposed to be a bit messy and sticky, and it's only a little bit of juice. Others say that it's my body, so it's my rules (but putting the boot on the other foot, it also involves his body, so maybe it should be his rules too?)

I really enjoy having sex, but I feel a bit bad for making him enjoy it less. I wonder if there's any way I can get over the feeling about it feeling 'dirty'.

And I think its very normal to think that cum is disgusting.

Really? How can you really get into sex in an uninhibited way if you think like that? What about blow jobs, coming on your face etc etc?

It's the same as a man saying he finds a woman getting wet disgusting.

I'm not at all sure it's normal.

I mean in the absolute abstract being presented with a small cold jar of a stranger's on your desk on a Monday might be disgusting but in the context of a sexual relationship with a man you desire, I don't think it's at all normal to think it's disgusting. Quite the opposite in fact.

Thinking it's disgusting is an anathema to true desire and unihibited sex IMO.

TheoriginalLEM, I'm not sure where anyone said Glitz was incorrect. The information, however, was completely irrelevant in the context of talking about semen and the pH inside the vagina. Glitz' post in that context would suggest that Glitz has misunderstood what she has heard, and thought that it had something to do with bacterial infections in the vagina, or similar.

I think the op dh sounds lovely and accommodating for using the conoms all this time!

Obv your body your rules but it doesn't sound very intimate. The ph thing and semen is pertinent though. I get very uncomfortable post shag with dp because of this but meh - the sex is worth it.

Meanwhile op you don't mention if you orgasm. Pretty personal question I know but some people - inc me can experience quite strong mental crashes after orgasm which can make you push your partner away. I wonder if this happens and influences your feelings about dealing with your dh semen.

Is it the leaking out that bothers you? If you go and sit on the loo you can lose it before it's on the sheets etc. a friend of mine puts a Tampon straight in after sex as she hates the senen too. I don't fancy doing this but she says it works!

'Semen contains citric acid, free amino acids, fructose, enzymes, phosphorylcholine, prostaglandin, potassium, and zinc,' and that's from Menshealth website.
I'm sure you've put worse things in your body than this organic substance, it's certainly not dirty or harmful. Hope that puts it into perspective a bit x

That is, if it's disease free of course

Semen is also full of salutary compounds, like serotonin, testosterone, etc. If you want to get the full benefit of it, it must come in contact with a mucous membrane such as can be found in the vagina, mouth, or rectum. Why not learn to love it!?

It's one of the nicest parts of sex when DH ejaculates inside me. It isn't dirty, OP.

It's one of the reasons I wouldn't rely on withdrawal method, tbh...we both get carried away until the deed is done.

Thanks for all the advice.
I've tried it, and although he really enjoyed it, I still felt icky.
I've spoken to him about it and he's been really understanding. He says that he prefers doing it without (and he commented that any man who says he doesn't is probably lying!). He says he's prepared to carry n with condoms for the moment, and that he wants to help me overcome this.

What can I do to help myself?

It's almost a phobia isn't it? Have you thought of talking to your GP about it? Xx