I've been with my partner for almost two years now. I'm not getting any younger, I'm 26 this year as is he. I kind of want my life to start.
We are in a happy relationship. My partner has been saying for over a year that he wants to move in with me and my daughter. In December a house came up for rent which I really liked and after much discussion we decided to go for it. I said beforehand that if we were to move in to this house, it had to be together. I didn't like all the back and forth we had with the last one and just wanted to settle. He agreed and said things would be different. But six months on and it's still the same.
The reason he doesn't live here full time is because he works an hours drive away and the petrol there and back every day would cost too much so he stays at his parents who aren't as far away. Which is a good enough excuse. However since saying he wants to move in, he has been applying for jobs closer but just not hard enough. He says he's applying to everything but I never see him trawling websites while he's here and when he's at his parents he's usually either watching the football with his brother or sleeping. There have been a few occasions where jobs have called him and he's missed the call but he hasn't called them back. The last time someone rang him, I said are you going to call them back and he said, probably not, the job didn't sound very nice. Now I work as a catering assistant at a school and spend my day elbow deep in a sink full of soggy food so my job is hardly what you would call 'nice' but I do it because I want money for our house, for our future.
I know a lot of you will say, well he obviously doesn't want to live with you, but he was the one who brought it up in the first place, he is the one that always mentions it. I mean, I'm happy to live on my own as I did it for 5 years but I'm not happy being in a part-time relationship. I asked would he help me with bills since he was living here half the week, this was back in February, and he said yes. It's now May and he's not given me anything, keeps saying oh well I just paid my car insurance so I'll have to give it to you next week etc. Living this way would be okay if we were younger or if we were casual but we're not either of those things. I feel like I'm in a relationship that is going nowhere. As long as he has that job, he won't live here full time. And as long as he doesn't get off his bum and look for something else, even if it's not his dream job, then he will remain in his current job. How long do I have to wait? What if he never gets another job, will I live in a part time relationship forever?
I recently had an abortion (please don't judge me, I'm having a hard enough time as it is) and one of the reasons he managed to convince me with was that he would miss out on so much because he doesn't live here due to work. So what, I have to put my entire life on hold until he can be bothered to get another job? I don't really know what to do to be honest. They've stopped my tax credits without warning and said I need to make a joint claim as he lives here a few days a week and when I do make the joint claim, I'm going to be about £100 worse off a week. But he's not living here, he's not paying bills or helping financially, so how the hell am I supposed to manage?
Sorry for the rant, I'm not really sure what advice I'm asking for, just kind of needed to get it off my chest.