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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Sometimes I wish DH would FUFF OFF

47 replies

Radley · 07/11/2006 17:07

Not gonna bother with the name change.

Yesterday he watched me fettle the living room and kitchen and sat playing games on the commie all day even though I was glaring through him and saying I was fed up of doing everything.

earlier, DD1 was being gobby, I shouted her to stop, she wouldn't so he punched her on the head (not reeeeeeallllll hard) but enough to make her cry. he has been in a mood all day cos he is on nights tonight. He had his tea and knew I was busy, instead of bringing it in the kitchen, he gave it to the kids for me to put it in the dishwasher, he has done NOTHING for the last few days except
sit on his ring piece, On Sunday he was soooooooooooooo hungover he stopped in bed till 1pm, whereas I was left to get the kids up and sorted (even though I had a hangover) he pissed the bed AGAIN and i had to wash his wet bedding and then he went back out for a few more pints leaving me to make the bed

Sometimes I wish he would just fuff off.

OP posts:

Original poster

Radley · 07/11/2006 17:08

Oh, he's been in bed all afternoon because he is on nights tonight and he hasn't made the bed.

OP posts:

theUrbanDryad · 07/11/2006 17:09

erm....is leaving him an option?

sorry, might seem a tad extreme, but that's what i would be thinking.

i mean, you already have children, why would you want an adult baby? (unless you're into that kind of thing of course! )

Greensleeves · 07/11/2006 17:10

He sounds like a real pig tbh Pissing the bed is disgraceful, how disrespectful to you. And above all I can't believe he punched a child. for you.

Original poster

Radley · 07/11/2006 17:10

LOL, no I aren't into that type of thing.

I can't leave him, i have NO savings, no family and nowhere to go.

OP posts:

Quootiepie · 07/11/2006 17:12

apart from that, woud you leave him?

Original poster

Radley · 07/11/2006 17:13

I think so, we nearly split up at the beginning of the year and had a good chat etc and I thought things were improving.

OP posts:

Original poster

Radley · 07/11/2006 17:13

I think so, we nearly split up at the beginning of the year and had a good chat etc and I thought things were improving.

OP posts:

Dior · 07/11/2006 17:14

Message withdrawn

joelallie · 07/11/2006 17:14

God what an arse! Don't know what else to say but the lack of respect and selfishness sounds fairly terminal to me....

Original poster

Radley · 07/11/2006 17:16

I think his selfishness etc comes from not leaving home until he was 35 and having EVERYTHING done for him.

Whenever he wets the bed, he always says the same thing 'it's cos I was tired', nothing to do with the copious amounts of alcohol [sas]

OP posts:

prettymum · 07/11/2006 17:18

he pissed on the bed!! i could not live with a man who did that unless he had an illness!! he is disrespectful to you and your children!!

i think you should have a good talk with him and tell him you will not accept his behaiviour. but you have to be serious about this and not let him off!!

theUrbanDryad · 07/11/2006 17:18

there are ways of leaving him, even if you have no money. other people probably know a lot better than me.

but if you mention that he punched your daughter (and that's your word, not mine...personally i'm ok with a small smack but your use of the word punching sounds fairly extreme) then the council should rehouse you, savings or no.

Quootiepie · 07/11/2006 17:19

well, money, no money, family , no family, if you want to leave, leave. Im not sure how you go about it, but, i think you can go to a refuge and they will help you get sorted with money and a home. If you divorce DH, youd obviously have 1/2 the house etc...

sleepycat · 07/11/2006 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

foxinsocks · 07/11/2006 17:22

can you kick him out? change the locks or something?

if he is so used to someone else doing everything for him (I assume, his mum and dad) can't he just bugger off back to them?

(I can't quite get over the punching your child in the head thing. Pissing the bed is awful in itself but deliberately hurting your child is another thing altogether).

Cassoulet · 07/11/2006 17:25

Can't you just get the locks changed and leave his stuff outside? Punching a kid anywhere is out of order, but on the head? No way. Kick him out.

sideways · 07/11/2006 17:35

He sounds like a complete arse. Pissing the bed is totally unacceptable, especially if he just can't be arsed to go to the loo. Any man who drinks so m uch he loses control of his bladder should not be in a relationship and have kids. But he knows you will just change the bed, so why should he care.

He also knows you will look after the kids when he can't be bothered, and let him get away with any kind of selfish behaviour - not putting his plates in the dishwasher etc.

And as for punching your child - any man who did that to my child would be out. End of story.

hermykne · 07/11/2006 17:41

radley i cant believe he gets drunk and then expects u to clean up, i just wouldnt tolerate it. and if hes on nights then he should cop on to his lifestyle and hes got a family even more cop on.
what do you say to him to make him aware of how he treats you?

theUrbanDryad · 07/11/2006 17:57

you should piss the bed, then make him clean it up.

i'm all for equality in a relationship...

Original poster

Radley · 07/11/2006 18:20

He doesn't see he does anything wrong

OP posts:

Original poster

Radley · 07/11/2006 18:27

Well, he knows he did wrong with dh, but not with any other part of his behaviour

OP posts:

Cassoulet · 07/11/2006 18:29

What, he thinks pissing the bed is OK when you're more than 3?

jalopy · 07/11/2006 18:32

Radley, has your husband always had neanderthal tendencies or is this something new?

MadameMorticiaMills · 07/11/2006 18:37

If my DH pissed the bed like that I would make sure all his friends and family knew.

joelallie · 07/11/2006 18:46

I seem to remember an old movie where the mother hung the mattress out of the window to dry every time the boy wet the bed. Obviously it was meant to show how cruel the parents were but I think it might be appropriate for a grown man who hasn't grown up.

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