Running out of time for a baby? Tell me your stories!

[styleyourlfe4]

I'm 35 and have started to get panicky that I'm not on the way to having a child.

I have always wanted a family, and I am currently single.

Anyone out there who can give me a happy story... did you have a child late in life? Did you meet someone after age 35 and still manage to have the family you wanted?

Thanks in advance for any replies :)

Met my other half at 41 had dd at 42. You've got time. Keep the faith!

Had DS1 aged 37, DS4 aged 44

There are no guarantees, but always hope.

My wife was 34 when we met and we spent 6 years fannying about not making a definitive decision about children. Then we did and ds was born this year, wife is early 40's and I'm late 30's.

I had my older 3 DCs in my 20s with XH, but had DD4 at 45 with my lovely DH, whom i met when i was 36

There's time but you definitely need to be proactive about meeting someone

I didn't think I'd be a mum. Met someone online - it was a short lived romance but it resulted in my only DS at 41

I had my children when I was 33 and 36. My best friend had IVF twins at 42!

Just had DS1 at 36 (9 weeks ago) and am considering another in a year or two

Friend was divorced early thirties, met someone at 38, pregnant at 39 and had first at 40 and second at 42.
Still time but you will have to be to be focused. If you really want a man and a baby then you need to prioritise that over work, or travel or whatever
else you do.

I'm 35 too and in the same boat. It has been suggested to me that I consider egg freezing to give me some extra time. Have any of you done this?

Didn't start until 36. Three by 41,

I was 43 and Mrs Eek was 40 when we had our darling boy. I was worried about ante natal classes, and everyone pointing and laughing at us old codgers - but we weren't anywhere near the oldest there.

This boy has kept us young, active, fit, healthy, made our lives better in so many ways. You have plenty of time yet, fingers crossed for you.

dollyrocker I would definitely recommend egg freezing. I met my OH in my mid thirties. After trying (and failing) to conceive three times with IVF at 38yrs old, I regularly kick myself that I didn't think about egg freezing earlier on. The charts they show you about egg quality dropping is a real wake up call. Most issues with conceiving are poor egg quality so I would -definitely bank some if I had my time again. What's the worst that can happen hey?! If you don't need them then great, and you can always donate them to science.

Met at 36, had DS just before 38th bday. Loads of friends who've had similar time frames. And friends still having their first at 40 or later.

Oh also, I was very much on the cusp of freezing my eggs when I met DH, and would have done so had I not. So I would say do it for sure. Having kids was super important to me, so I wanted to minimise the gamble as much as possible.

Second recce on egg freezing pronto. Have done it and friends are following me... takes a lot of pressure off developing relationships and will really help you decide once and for all if you REALLY want kids... you will balk at the coat if you don't, think it's money well spent if you do

But be proactive about dating, and meet multiple men and give it a few months before being exclusive

My auntie had my cousin at 45.

I also think you have time.
My friend had a baby very recently via sperm donor.
She has a lot of family around and many friends.
She had the treatment at 38 and her gorgeous boy came along on the 2nd attempt when she was (still is) 39.
You have time to meet someone though so try that route first if that is what you want.
My friend just knew she wouldn't settle down with a guy any time soon.

Met my DP at 40 had dd1 at 41 and ds1 at 43. I'd completely given up on the idea of having a family after splitting with my ex when I was 39. You still have time.

Please bare in mind that tales about at 45+ women easily getting pregant and having healthy are rare.

35 is not too old for a baby. Probably just a bit over average for a professional, working mum.

It is getting a bit too old to not have met somebody you are happy to have kids with though. Relationships take time.

Is there anyone in the background?

I remember the miserable, panicky feeling that it would never happen, and women asking me why I'd chosen a career over motherhood! I just hadn't met the right man.

Anyway, at 40, I was just about to go down the sperm donor route when I met my now dh, fell instantly pregnant. Had another baby at 42, and another at 44.

Obviously not complaining, but if I'd had the choice, I would have preferred to have been a younger mum. I'm sure it's easier.

Please bare in mind that tales about at 45+ women easily getting pregant and having healthy are rare.

Not as rare as you'd think!

Of course there's no denying biology, but none of us know what our fertility is like until we try to use it - plenty of couples in their 20s and 30s struggle to conceive, and there is an increasing number of women having 1st babies in their late 30s and early/mid 40s.

Egg freezing is an option, but clearly no guarantee of a baby - I'd investigate the live birth rate of any clinic offering egg freezing quite carefully, but if you can afford it, it IS an option.

I met my DH at 33 (he was 38), we married at 35 and I had DS at 37 and twins at 41. So I would say you still have time.

Yep had my healthy DD at the age of 40 and of the 8 mums (all younger than me) in our antenatal group I was the only one who was able to have a midwife delivered birth at the local cottage hospital.

You are still young! Met DP at 38, got pregnant day after my 40th party! Had healthy baby boy with only gas and air and morphine. Try not to get panicky or desperate about it. You'll meet someone when you relax. Alternatively, if you would prefer to go it alone then look into using a sperm donor. My friend did this and had a 4-year old son to show for it!