Where do single men hang out?

[SnortbertHumplesplink]

I am too scared to do online dating but I need to meet some nice single men, in their 30s or 40s. Where do they hang out? I'm not keen to go pubbing and clubbing, I'd rather join a club, start a hobby or go to some events. The problem is that everything I've joined has been full of women and OAPs. Where do all the younger single men hang out??

I would still like a boyfriend but not to go and cohabit as I have read the book and bought the t shirt in that department before ds was born.

All I would like is a part-time one who I see say twice a week and he possibly stays the night once a week. I don't want them crowding me in or to fix me or to take over my life at all.

Until I find somebody suitable I just work on having men as friends and acquiring more single parent females for moral support and staying away from cynical or bitter people.

To my mind these things happen when they are meant to happen and no amount of jumping up and down in upset will bring the outcome any closer it just takes its own time.....

It is still frustrating though eh!

Lots of single men like cycling and comparing bikes

Lots of single men with notebooks and flasks standing at the end of every railway platform.

What sort of things do you like doing, OP?

Find something you like, then do that. It will happen.

My new guy loves cycling and in a club, he lovely too but I met him online tho

FLOWER i totally get your outlook's similar, i am a loner thats it. Would love to dine out now and again, have a drink after work ona friday, I had that once upon a time, miss it.Not every one wants to be smothered. BTW I cycle ! lol

Alba14 I wouldn't say I am a loner as such just that since single parenting I have had no option but to learn to appreciate my own company! It has taken me a long while however.

I have got used to appreciating my own headspace. I don't believe I am selfish just way more self-sufficient than I used to be. I still value single women friendships it is just I only know one in my neighbourhood currently as my two best friends moved away a while back. Since then nobody of that calibre has appeared :( ......

Sometimes I think it is more important to have a group of single women as friends who are single parents to get the readymade understanding and support. You simply can't get that in the world out there unless they are one themselves....

The only trouble is that I can't seem to find any likeminded ones .... The ones at the school wanted to stay up late and get pissed and put their children randomly in different friends' homes on settees while they went out and so on and I just can't be shambolic and careless like that.

SevenAteNine said: "What sort of things do you like doing, OP? Find something you like, then do that. It will happen."

No, it does not necessarily happen. I'm a man of 41. I have joined several clubs over the last three years to do with things I like doing including amateur dramatics, sailing, badminton, tennis and walking.

I thought sailing might not be overly full of women when actually there are quite a lot. But all married. Badminton was much more male-oriented. Tennis and walking was a better split between men and women but again, in both cases, almost all married and the single ones were either much older or much younger. In the amateur dramatics world, the single women also very few and far between and either 20s or 50s. Almost none in their late 30s/early 40s.

Screwfix. Or is it just married men that do DIY?

DrSethHazlittMD: I feel that if you join a club with an eye purely to meet someone, you aren't going for the right reasons. You're trying too hard.

Instead, focus on doing things you care about that make you feel good when you do them. For me, it was getting involved with music. Once I did that, everything else fell into place.

Local rugby club!

Salsa classes. More men than women, most are single. Once you feel comfortable dancing go to dancing events, plenty of men to choose from. don't worry if you cannot dance, you go to beginners classes and you will learn (or not so much because you meet the guy straightaway ????

Once you have begun broadening your social life to include more men, what is the best way to try to move things on beyond developing a friendship?

One of the reasons I've tried online dating is that it seemed easier to tell that someone was single and/or interested in me. In real life I tend to make acquaintances/friends with men, but am never asked out.