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Original poster

Where do single men hang out?

89 replies

SnortbertHumplesplink · 27/04/2015 20:00

I am too scared to do online dating but I need to meet some nice single men, in their 30s or 40s. Where do they hang out? I'm not keen to go pubbing and clubbing, I'd rather join a club, start a hobby or go to some events. The problem is that everything I've joined has been full of women and OAPs. Where do all the younger single men hang out??

OP posts:
Flowerpower41 · 30/04/2015 05:45

Meetup.com is a good way to make men as friends and develop a social life. Sadly I have insufficient funds to take that route on at the moment but I have tried it in the past and made a number of contacts including an interesting single parent female which is very handy.

hereandtherex · 30/04/2015 10:38

Games Workshop!

5secondstilltakeoff · 30/04/2015 11:16

Can i ask if any of you were cosleeping with your little one or did you have baby in a moses basket etc? I am worried baby will not adapt as he is used to having a warm body next to him (and boob on tap). Also did you wait until your baby slept through the night before moving them in with a sibling? My baby doesnt sleep through at the moment but I think its because my movement wakes him up.

5secondstilltakeoff · 30/04/2015 11:21

Whoops wrong thread. Blush

vienna1981 · 30/04/2015 13:58

I'm single, male, age 44. I work twelve hour days so not much time for after-work stuff. On days off it's local pub, Costa, supermarket, walking and 'special' swimming for three Saturdays on the trot Smile .

vienna1981 · 30/04/2015 13:59

I'm single, male, age 44. I work twelve hour days so not much time for after-work stuff. On days off it's local pub, Costa, supermarket, walking and 'special' swimming for three Saturdays on the trot Smile .

LurcioAgain · 30/04/2015 14:08

A mixed team sport that's not uber-competitive and strength oriented, like ultimate frisbee or handball?

Volunteering - e.g. path building weekends in the Lake District etc.

Most classical music activities (choirs, orchestras) are heavily gender biased, sadly. Hardly any men in my orchestra, for instance, and the ones there are are already married!

SaucyJack · 30/04/2015 14:13

IME they hang out at mutual friends' birthday parties Wink

Could you engineer a social situation with any of your mates' DP's brothers/friends?

MrsJuice · 30/04/2015 15:57

I haven't hidden any anywhereGrinGrin,
but most of my friends have met DPs through other friends.
It's a lot safer that way I think.
I never tried on-line dating. I always imagine balding peculiar men with strange fetishes, using Google stock photos!! GrinGrin

bigbutsrus1 · 30/04/2015 19:08

Golf lessons?

albal14 · 30/04/2015 19:19

So where do the ladies go?

mistymeanour · 30/04/2015 19:59

My DP fences - it is about 95% male - many unattached, the age range is uni students up! You can do beginner classes and one day courses- the club usually lends you the kit until you decide if you want to continue There are several clubs in London.

I would also recommend running, tennis (courses starting soon) and kayaking clubs. Non fiction book clubs, science fiction book clubs, astronomy societies, badminton, gig mates (look at meetup) are also usually biased towards the male sex as are martial arts classes.

Good luck!

Hughfearnley · 01/05/2015 08:06

Try your local walking group. The young ramblers usually has a group in your area. The male to female ratio is good and lots of young professionals.

Trills · 01/05/2015 08:12

If you join a club, make sure that you DO want to date the kind of man who goes to that kind of club.

What's so scary about online dating? You're talking to people online here, after all.

Trills · 01/05/2015 08:14

Or even if you don't want to "do" online dating, many online dating stes also run events, where at the very elast you KNOW that all the people attending are single.

This group have (as well as the regular speed dating) a pub quiz and a "Literary speed dating" where you talk about your favourite books.

Trills · 01/05/2015 08:24

I understand the desire to "just meet" someone, but realistically how many new people do you meet every week?

And how many of those are male, single, in the right age range?

That's even before taking into account whether you like them!

Have you tried actively asking your friends if they know any single men? You might need to give them a little push to think about it. There's no shame in admitting that you are actively looking.

Smorgasboard · 01/05/2015 09:07

Spiceuk - social group, anything from meals out and pub meets to wing walking - under 40's section ( guess you'd be under Thames Valley region?

MadeMan · 01/05/2015 09:37

"So where do the ladies go?"

Yeah, where'd they all go to?

MadeMan · 01/05/2015 09:44

I'd like to add as well that I work with a woman in her late 20's (too young for me) who wants a boyfriend, but she seems to spend most of her social time hanging out with her sister and her sister's two young children. Possibly won't meet anyone if you're always with family or close friends all the time.

Original poster
SnortbertHumplesplink · 01/05/2015 10:47

Thanks for all the great suggestions. I have done some of the dating "events", including the literary stuff, but they were either full of women or the men were so utterly hopeless that no one would want to date them. I mean: almost no social skills, not asking me anything about myself, not being able to make any conversation at all, not showing any interest in anything really. I hoped that by meeting men in a more natural setting I might find more rounded, interesting people with lives and hobbies and interests!

OP posts:
Original poster
SnortbertHumplesplink · 01/05/2015 10:49

Plus I am scared of online dating because it seems to be full of crazy weirdos! And, of course, putting myself out there, the rejection.... I can't face it.

OP posts:
mistymeanour · 01/05/2015 12:53

I would also find OLD scary Snorbert. I think you need to be quite strategic/logical about meeting someone though. I know you want to meet guys in their 30's and 40's but what sort of guys? - you would meet men at a bikers pub, but would enthusiasts in that interest you ? What sort of qualities does the guy have to have - where would they meet/be likely to join ?

Flowerpower41 · 02/05/2015 17:23

Sorry to depress everybody but over the years whenever I have been in a social setting the men who are single and available have 9 times out of 10 been extra needy or something extra wrong with them. This is not intended to sound uncharitable or unkind. I still like men as friends and even potentially as a boyfriend but they are not always as emotionally strong as women so they can't always cope well.

MadeMan · 02/05/2015 18:30

There are probably quite a few men and women out there as well that are single, but just aren't looking to find anyone because they are happy with their life as it is.

Not everyone wants somebody to move into their home and put all their stuff on the shelves and in the cupboards. Smile

lulu12345 · 02/05/2015 20:01

I honestly think online dating would be a lot less scary than taking up some of the uber competitive sports being suggested here. Most folks I know met their partners through work, friends of friends or dating sites. I say go for on the dating sites!