Who should pay for Hotel?

[TommyandGina]

Ex P stays with his girlfriend frequently at the weekends. She lives 125 miles away. He wants me to take ds there for the weekend and pay for my own hotel so he can take ds out for the day, and I can have him back in the evening.

I'm not sure I want to pay for 250 miles worth of fuel and a hotel, when I said this to him he got all defensive and made out as though I couldn't be bothered to make any effort. I have always tried to keep things civil between us, always make him a meal if he comes over and am still sociable with his parents. The weekend before this I have to attend his mothers birthday party (another 250 mile round trip and hotel bill)

I don't think I'm being unfair but would like your opinions please. Apologies for any typos, am trying to do this on phone.

Ithink his words were

'I think that's because I grew up with a father who couldn't be bothered and am making sure that I do everything possible to keep that from happening to ds. '

That's his lookout and his job. Stop enabling him.

I'd go for formal contact contract.

He's a pisstaker and it's upsetting your son.

Hang on, are you saying your ex has your son's car on a permanent basis? Please tell me that's not true!

No imperial, I have the car except when he has ds, don't panic

Yeah, I think it's fair enough that the car goes with your son...

When your ex does the 250 miles to see him.

I have rarely seen anything so ridiculous as you driving up there. Go give your head a wobble! You bloody idiot < meant nicely, you sound lovely. The ex, not so much.

Thanks cabrinha I have wobbled my head and think I might've shaken some sense in. Let's see what the light of day tomorrow brings

Hello Tommy

You are being too accomodating to your ex, because you obviously love your child

Stop cooking your ex meals
Your ex is an ex for a reason

Put some proper contact arrangements in place, where your ex spends quality time with your son if not in person via phone, letter, email, skype if this is appropriate

I hope your ex is paying maintenence !

I dont think you should be out of pocket eg hotels, petrol etc or the cost should be shared between you & your ex

Your ex seems to be putting his new girlfriend first, not his child

Good luck

He is paying maintenance yes, so no worries there. I do just need to stop being so nice, I hope though that it doesn't mean he'll see ds any less than he already does.