DH always seems irritable around me...

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...just lately. Either I chew my food too noisily, or wash the dishes too loudly or (tonight) we went out and I asked the barman to name all the different flavour crisps before I chose cheese and onion (apparently I shouldn't have put the barman through that, it was unnecessary - and yet it was a village pub and the barman had bugger all else to do)and he rolled his eyes when I asked the landlady whether her dog was a cross or a pedigree - and yet she spent a half hour after that chatting about dogs to us after that so was clearly delighted to have been asked.

He frequently is like this and then when I bugger off out of his way for an hour or two he will come up and tell me he loves me soooo much. Wtf?

He has always been eccentric and a hermit. He doesn't have any real friends and is definitely someone who finds fault in people where I see the best. I do love the old bugger, we have been together 8 years and still have so much joint vision and he inspires me and I know that me and the kids are his world.. but does anyone else experience this sort of thing? It makes me feel like c**p at times!

When ny DH starts his sighing and tutting I'm afraid I no longer put up with it. I ask what his problem is, we have an animated discussion, particularly about his faults and we finish up by both agreeing to be more tolerant in the future. I used to let this stuff go on and try to be better but TBH it would just go on and on.

Stamp on it, right here, right now.

DH and I have been together 16 years and we are still evolving. Do not accept this.

I am more spontaneous [sp] have had wine.

DS gets to go to Café Rouge about twice a month if he has been good in school.

As we walked back from the firework display in the park en route to the car, DS got really excited and asked to go into Café Rouge, DH exuded ..... reluctance. So we passed.

When DS was in bed, I pointed out to DH that I had in many ways a charmed childhood. Not much money at times, but lots of spontaneity [sp] chips from the chip shop because,trips to the nearby beach near bedtime in the summer, because, well just because.

I waited until DS was in bed, marked his card nicely re reluctance, I pointed out that the worst they could have said was sorry no children this late, he has accepted this and we have moved on.

No argument. But believe me it is sorted.

My aunt has lived with someone more extreme than this, no friends,eccentric, very controlling, very critical and has survived almost forty years of marriage to him(although I can't say unscathed). Does he know how you feel, about the things he says to you?

Just point out to him that he is being unkind to you, tbh if dp complained that I washed the dishes too loudly he end up wearing them.
Presumably you got through life just fine before you met him and were able to make judgement calls like whether to buy a pack of crisps or talk to a lady about a dog all by yourself.

Sorry but pmsl that LGJ's adorable son's treat is Cafe Rouge.

What about giving him a good blast of How Very Dare You speak to me like that!

And the problem with Café Rouge is.......................................................??

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Nothing at all, I like Cafe Rouge but I jst love the fact that he is too sophisticated to want to go to Mc'd's

I know, I was teasing.

He walks in.............

Table for two please...

Certainly, smoking or non smoking.............

Non smoking please.

He will then install himself at a table, and so far so good, he is a mini man.

Then he ruins it all..........................

Mummy, do they have crayons and a colouring book.

Mmmmmmm. when i read your post I thought "Is Pages a pseudonym for me"? because it sounded so like my life.

dh moans about everything I ever do. Comments I make; the way I tidy the house; everything I do.

I don't know what the answer is, but I identify with every word you are saying.

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Dior........Wot ............no crayons.

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Oh no! - the saddest thing about this thread is that your dh is....me! I am resolving to be kinder to my old man.

Really, you shouldn't have to put up with this, it is misery making. Have it out with him

He is 5.

Very small town, pop 38,000, Cafe Rouge is Mc D's IYKWIM.

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They do.............for under £5.

Juice

Main course, he always has bangers and mash (Good Quality bangers.)

Two scoops of ice cream........and crayons and paper to draw on.

What more could a boy want....???

Service can be slow.........but to me it is part of the charm, gives us more time to "chat" in so far as you can chat with a five year old, who has crayons in his hand.

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hmm, i too have your dh's trait - but only if i'm stressed about something so you could ask if something is bothering him? also, i might think it but i don't day it cos i know it's out of order and also, it's a sign that i'm stressed. perhaps your dh needs to know how upsetting being put down like this is. it's not ok, stressed or not.

Yes he has always been like it to a degree, and yes I am clumsy too and old boyfriends always found it endearing that I took half an hour to decide what to eat and was friendly to strangers. I knew he was in an odd mood when we went out, and he is definitely moody when he is stressed. I really did let him have it last night, really yelled at him on the way home and his response was "3 glasses of wine..." as if I was only shouting at him because I was drunk which infuriates me because I wasn't and he was excuding his behaviour by putting it on me.

He is not like this all the time though, he has a great sense of humour and we have a real laugh together a lot of the time. But I don't want to be controlled by his moods. So am not going to just kiss and make up this morning.

I have just told him that someone with no friends has no right to lecture me on social norms, and that I am fed up of being criticised and that he can take me the way I am or lump it. Tbh I think that most of the time it is more to do with him and how he is feeling - he also has an obsessive preoccupation with "what the neighbours think" (i.e. how he/we are viewed by others) whereas I couldn't give a flying one how complete strangers view me. I don't mean that I am rude or impolite but I am just myself, whereas he seems to care far more than he should about how people view him/us. But that doesn't account for the criticism at home. He says it is because he can't hear the radio, but he is just an intolerant sort of person. He knows I think he is Basil Fawlty.

OMG Floating in the Fire. Just looked at the test and scored 23. Maybe it is just me being hypersensitive to DH and his moods?

FWIW pages, I think inner confidence is partially the reason. I always think I should be able to withstand his constant criticism (bordering on contempt at times). I normally just tell him to P* off.