Hs who have affairs - where do they find the time?

[ElizabethHoover]

is it all work based?
I just wonder how they manage to absent themselves otherwise..
I suppose you just get used to them having to rush out for spurious reasons?

Usually work I would think. Easiest place to start one.

Imo they steal family time

i think work or gym must be easiest. Or some kind of all day hobby.

When H worked abroad a lot I used to get a bit twitchy. BEing pg didnt help ever

In my case, "Working late" whilst I looked after the children without question in order to facilitate his career.

I imagine some of the "conferences" weren't about actuarial business.

Golf holidays. When my friends DH didn't take his clubs she knew he was at it.

they always lay themselves open with texts too, it seems

FOOLZ

mates H pretended to be in Canada when he was in the Med with old slaggy pants

Often it's a colleague so quite easy.

It's usually work or hobby time in my experience.

My last ex used to travel all over for work so he'd just slot it around that.

When I was a kid, my dad was usually either banging one of his secretaries (who he would then sack if she ended it - oh, the 80s) or he'd pick up some sort of hobby. Badminton was one - he used to take me along as a cover, tell me to go and have a match with some other kid while he "socialised"

If you're self-employed or at a senior level at work, you can basically get away with anything. Tell the spouse "I'm off to meet a client", then meet whoever you want.

I discovered this weekend that one of our staff has been using the 'overtime' excuse to his wife.

Looking forward to a little discussion with him tomorrow. Poor wife, she looks destroyed.

Escaping during work time or taking a sneaky day off.

Ok, colleagues I know who have affairs, It's either before work, lunchtime, leave work early visit mistress arrive home on time. Working away it easy to take a mistress along as work pays for hotel etc. Golf sessions that really aren't. 'Team building' nights out that only 2 go on. I even know someone who told his wife he was being sent on a leadership type living in the wilderness course in the highlands and would be out of touch for a week.He then went to Italy with his mistress on holiday. It's an hour here or half hour there, if people want to cheat they manage.

Whilst they say they are at work.

I think if you're good at lying it's quite easy to find an hour or so here or there that doesn't look suspicious. If it's queried there's normally a plausible excuse. A lot of the time you don't even know that they're not where you think they are.

My XH would only have needed 3 minutes.

My ex went off with a girlfriend he'd had before me he'd found on Facebook. We had relocated some way away from where we originally came from (London to Norfolk) so when he went back to spend the weekend with his mum he was meeting up with the ex then! His mum just thought he was meeting up with old school friends. I worked weekends so couldn't always visit his mum with him and so it goes... !

poppyfield
Brilliant. Cheered me up.

My stbxh cheating scumbag made up work lies which were plausible but I always knew he was lying, just couldn't figure out why.
Most of his affair was text, telephone and email based when he was supposed to be 'working' in the evening, in the lounge, forcing me to sit in the kitchen or go to bed early.

And he totally checked out of taking care of the family. Unless he wanted to block me then usually to be found carrying one of the children.

Once caught on his phone, was apparently checking the cricket scores, during Happy B day song to my

oops. Dad.

In my experience, while going cycling with a local group, and sometimes on all day'cycling' trips, turns out it wasn't only the bike he was riding.

At work. And he kept popping out to Tesco. Every time he went he would allegedly bump into a long lost friend thus explaining the two hour absence. He honestly thought I would believe him.

They are working late. Or going away for weekends on work training schemes. Very useful if OW is a colleague. Or have a hobby that takes them away from home a lot. Really I don't know why people swallow those excuses. They can come from men or women. The pattern or excuses are the same.

My friend, who is a barrister in the city, just shag her boss at work without her dh suspecting a thing. Lawyers are the worst, in my experience.

Ugh. DH has been working late a lot. I'm hugely pregnant and tired and paranoid about everything. It's delightful!