partner is out of control

[Cococrazy]

Been with partner 10 years, we have 2 kids under 4 and he is angry all the time. Gives big speeches that he is going to change but then resorts back to being a complete idiot. He started doing cocaine every other week and last night I asked him not to as his mother was coming for lunch. She is old and doesn't get much company so visits are big for her. Because he had done it anyway and didn't go to sleep until 3am I had to cancel her.
He is short tempered all the time and snappy. He twists his behaviour to try and make me look like the bad person and I'm just tired of it. If I complain abut his behaviour he goes mental again. He is obviously depressed because this anger started when his father died and his relationship with his sisters went down hill. He is also really stressed with work. Should I stick by him and try and help or say enough is enough. No we aren't married... Took him 9 years to propose after me nagging him to death about it

Listen to his Mum.

Oh your poor children OP. I witnessed my two-month-old grandchild's reaction to her father's shouting. It took two weeks after he left for her crying not to sound angry.

As she has never witnessed to like again, she is really contented toddler. So it freaks me out to think of your children witnessing so much anger between the people who are supposed to look after them.

As for cocaine, I had friends from my youth, all dead, who got involved with cocaine and became very violent and paranoid.

I find it incomprehensible how you talk about him taking cocaine as if it was a glass of wine. For me it would be a huge deal.
Obviously talking to him about the anger and his promise of change are not working, he needs professional help. I would ask him to find this help and show real steps towards solving the problem not just promises.

Well, Op is a cocaine user herself

Do you realise how much it takes for a mother to say something like that about her own son?

Listen to the woman. She is telling you something huge.

Thanks all for your input. We still aren't talking and he keeps trying to crack jokes. I told him I'm standing by my prick comment which he seems deeply upset by ?!?!!??

On the plus my AF arrived today. 6 days late!!! Not sure what that is all about?

Stress always played merry hell with my cycle when I wasn't on hormonal BC.

He really doesn't get it, does he?

I remember the first time I called my H a cunt. It was when we were actually splitting up. Good job it was on the phone because I think if I'd said it to his face he might well have clocked me one. He was almost incoherent with rage. How dare I?! My response was "If you don't want to get called a cunt, don't act like one."

That's why he squared up to me because I called him an f'ing prick. I don't regret at all. He is one the way he is behaving.

I appreciate he is the one choosing to make this argument about being called a prick but it's not really moving anything forward, is it? What are you actually going to do? I agree with Goats, for his own mother to be telling you to get out, things must be pretty bad.

I wonder if you are minimising the illegality of what he (mostly) and you (occasionally) do? I mean, you have to be getting it off a dealer, right? It can't all be just chance "have a bit of this for free, mate" in a nightclub/at friends' can it? What if that dealer's caught and he gives up your info? Maybe I've watched too much tv ...