Do you keep "Mrs" after a divorce

[BravingSpring]

I have no intention of changing my surname, I don't want a different name to DD, but I keep the Mrs?

This just came into my head earlier when I was asked when ordering something, I'm not divorced yet but will be eventually.

I did.
I kept the surname, like you, so that my name would be the same as that of my dd.
I kept 'Mrs' because I'd never been 'Miss Exesname', only 'Mrs'.
Years passed. Dd married and has a different surname entirely.
The ex died.
I'm left with the name.

I'm not alone though. He married a couple more women after me and at least one of those still has his name.

I kept Mrs . I don't like Ms and couldn't be arsed to change everything. I have a different surname to ex anyway.
I'm remarrying next year and have no idea what to call myself.

so many people seem to believe 'Ms' = divorced.

Because they're half-wits, or because feminism has died a death in the UK and seems unlikely to see a resurrection. It annoys me, too. I still use 'Ms' sometimes.

My solicitor told me at the time I would remain a Mrs even with name change. I am pleased I did as years later due to legal issues it worked out for the best I remained a Mrs. Another Solicitor at that time told me legally I was still a Mrs. Please check with your Solicitor to be one safe side.

There is no legal status attached to titles. My 6 year old can call herself Mrs if she wants to (she's way too smart though!).

You're not "legally" Miss, Ms, Mrs, Mr, Mx, Lord, Lady etc..... Only Dr has legal status.

I use Ms, I don't identify as a married woman or want to but Miss is far to girly for someone in their 50's. Miss has cat loving spinster attached to it as a surname.

I'm nearly 40, married, kept my name and use a combination of Mx, Ms and Miss (never Mrs). It genuinely makes fuck all difference to any aspect of life.

I became Mrs XH1 then divorced.
Changed back to Miss Maiden Name.
Married XH2 and elected not to change my name as it's such a faff.
Divorced XH2 and felt relieved that I didn't have to change my name.
I'm 51 and I'm Miss Maiden Name. I get a hint of a rebellious kick of being asked if I'm Mrs or Ms and saying I'm Miss. [big grin]
No DC involved.
A divorced friend with DC stayed as Mrs XH then changed her name by deed poll to her mother's maiden name once DC were 18.

Divorced XH2 and felt relieved that I didn't have to change my name.

Nobody has to change their name, EVER.

the majority of kids now have different surnames to their mothers.

I think that's sad! Given that it's usually men who leave and women who end up bringing up the kids, I just can't get my head around choosing his name to give the children, if you are not also sharing that name.
OP, you can be anything you like. I personally (had I changed my name) would be shrugging off my ex's name like a dirty shirt. Choose something totally new.
Lady Viveca-Marie Bracegirdle has my vote.

I just can't get my head around choosing his name to give the children, if you are not also sharing that name.

I carried DD for 9 months. She's the only person to ever have heard my heart beat from the inside. Nothing can ever change that. I don't need to share a name with her.

I kept my name when married, now divorced I use miss, I never really used Mrs, think my Tesco club card is the only thing that had Mrs on it, never bothered updating that. I know you were married but in the case of unmarried parents, I really don't know why the child does not take the mother's name, it makes much more sense btw my ds has my surname and not his father's and we were married.

(That said, my surname is her second middle name.)

This thread reads as a catalogue of reasons for not changing names upon marriage in the first place.

I stayed a Mrs.

I took my wedding ring off for a while, but then started wearing it again. Saved me from being pestered by random/annoying geezers when I was out with friends.

My mum and dad got divorced a few months ago and my mum has went to Miss + married surname.

I said I think it's supposed to be MS but she wanted Miss.

I don't know if t mattered nowadays right enough.

I kept the Mrs Married surname. Turned out it pissed exdh off too which was a double bonus.

@IfNot

I think that's sad! Given that it's usually men who leave and women who end up bringing up the kids, I just can't get my head around choosing his name to give the children, if you are not also sharing that na

I understand what you're saying - and the reasons why. I don't agree it's sad though - (and like many I am a feminist). We share the children 50/50 - though I do do the majority of the organising etc, admittedly.

For me it's just a name. They're my kids, regardless. When they were born my ex was keen for them (and me!) to have his name. I didn't want to change mine, so didn't - but I felt indifferent to the children having his name. It meant a lot to him however - so that was fine by me. I don't think that's sad - and to be honest they feel that my hone is their main one. Both ex and I, and the children, are fine with the name issue.

• incidentally - I think the majority of families where the children have a different name from their mother is due to divorce and remarriage - I think my situation isn't the norm - though o know of a couple of others.

Just to say that going abroad with a child is a lot easier if you have the same name

So I will have to keep married name.

Will be Ms, though, I think, although makes me feel a bit attention sesking, weirdly.

incidentally - I think the majority of families where the children have a different name from their mother is due to divorce and remarriage

Really? Just going by people I know (so not scientific!) , it is more common for the couples to be unmarried, or married but the woman keeps her name, yet the children still have the fathers name. It always seems to be "really important " to the man that this happens.

In fact I have been told of huge arguments where the father spat the dummy when the idea of giving the child the mothers name was suggested. So a name is clearly very important to some.

I like that I have one dc with my name, and if I had another (different father)..yep, still my name .
Maybe that's why men really hate the idea?

I remain Mrs ( married name) It is what it. I was married, my name changed from my maiden name. I got divorced but I didn't revert back to being who I was before I got married. Actually that reads badly but I know what I mean!

Just to say that going abroad with a child is a lot easier if you have the same name

I've travelled all over the world with DD since she was 4 months old, including to the Middle East and USA. Never once been questioned or had issues.

@IfNot certainly in my job that's the case. But yes, there are plenty of others who remain with their original name when the kids take their dad's name.

I guess it comes down to choice. I certainly wouldn't want to give in to anyone who 'spat their dummy out' - but in my case I was fine with it. To me it's just a name and I'm confident and happy in my choice. Actually my 2 boys have my surname as a middle name, as it is actually a boys name too! .

Each to their own. I think it should be about choice - that's what feminism means to me - choice without coercion or sulking.

Funny this has come up. Was at my mum's last weekend. We were sorting through old letters and 'stuff' and I was reminded of the 'old days' when married women were addresse as Mrs HisFirstName HisSurname. So rare nowadays...

A divorced friend uses her middle name as her surname as she's no wish to be connected to either her father or her ex...

I kept Mrs. It's what I wanted to do and so I did.