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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do you keep "Mrs" after a divorce

82 replies

BravingSpring · 17/04/2015 20:33

I have no intention of changing my surname, I don't want a different name to DD, but I keep the Mrs?

This just came into my head earlier when I was asked when ordering something, I'm not divorced yet but will be eventually.

OP posts:
HazleNutt · 18/04/2015 07:32

if you don't want to worry about advertising your marital status through titles, there's always the option of Ms.

BravingSpring · 18/04/2015 07:34

I'm not sure about Ms, but I can always try it on for size :)

OP posts:
DoTheDuckFace · 18/04/2015 07:40

I have stayed mrs married name. Silly maybe but as a young mum I felt less judged if people knew I was married and though I am not so young any more it has stuck with me. I have kept his surname as it is the same as my children and I just prefer it to my maiden name.

NickiFury · 18/04/2015 07:50

I kept the name as that is my children's name and I don't want a different name to them but I am miw Ms rather than Mrs.

Ladymoods · 18/04/2015 07:58

I have gone back to my maiden name and use Ms as my title. It was quite important for me to change my name back, it helped me to move on and I felt more like myself again. I would love to change the kids names too as he has been NC for 3 years now and seems to want to stay that way so I don't see why they should honour his surname but sadly I can't change them without his permission.

TisILeclerc · 18/04/2015 08:08

I have reverted to Miss Maiden name. I always said I wouldn't as I didn't want to be different from the kids but my desire to be different from the ex overtook my desire to be the same as the kids Grin

As for changing it again if I got married again? Not sure. My principles tell me I would be happy as I am but I'm not sure

JeanSeberg · 18/04/2015 08:31

Oops! Sorry Jean

No need to apologise, Arsenic. Odd is good ha ha.

SoupDragon · 18/04/2015 08:35

I've kept Mrs because I can't be arsed to change it. I don't care if people assume I am married.

Anniegetyourgun · 18/04/2015 08:37

I put myself down on forms etc as Ms, but if people address me as Mrs I let it ride. I think my bank still has me down as Mrs, never bothered to change it (divorced 7 years ago). IME "Ms" is for divorcees, don't-knows and mind-your-own-businesses. I think it would be useful if it were the default, as I believe is the case in the US.

sandgrown · 18/04/2015 08:40

Stayed with Mrs and married name as do not like Ms.

operaha · 18/04/2015 09:04

from the day he moved out I referred to myself as miss maiden name. I felt very strongly about it, no way was I having his.
kids kept his but both chose mine when he remarried - they didn't want the same name as his new wife.

BravingSpring · 18/04/2015 09:11

If dd wanted to change her name later, I think we'd have to come up with a new one altogether. I wouldn't want to go back to my maiden name.

OP posts:
unnaturalmakeup · 18/04/2015 09:14

I have changed everything back to Ms OriginalSurname. I'd feel odd being a Mrs when divorced (or keeping that surname without really good reason), but so what, it's totally up to you, OP. Who cares what others think or would do themselves.

I am OK with being addressed as Mrs or Ms MarriedName, but Miss MarriedName just sounds so utterly wrong. I have a few bills that were inadvertently set up that way and it irks me every time I see them.

Nolim · 18/04/2015 09:21

I have used ms myname when i was single and now that i am married. I dont anticipate getting divorced but if i do i would still be ms myname. Simple.

SoupDragon · 18/04/2015 10:31

I dont anticipate getting divorced

Nobody does.

DoItTooJulia · 18/04/2015 10:41

My mum stayed Mrs post divorce.

A friend changed her name and DCs name to her mums maiden name because she didn't want to be Mrs. Marriedname or go back to her maiden name. But I have no idea if she is Miss, Ms or Mrs!

BravingSpring · 18/04/2015 10:45

SoupDragon I nearly posted that. I'm the last person who expected to be in this position.

OP posts:
Jennaw1 · 28/08/2017 10:34

I got divorced in the 70s and changed my name back to my maiden name by deed poll to make it legal. My solicitor told me at the time I would remain a Mrs even with name change. I am pleased I did as years later due to legal issues it worked out for the best I remained a Mrs. Another Solicitor at that time told me legally I was still a Mrs. Please check with your Solicitor to be one safe side.

Temporaryanonymity · 28/08/2017 10:41

I changed back to my maiden name. I am definitely a Ms but then I used that when i was married anyway. No deed poll required, by the way.

BossyBitch · 28/08/2017 10:44

I was Ms Myname before getting married, while married and am still Ms Myname after the divorce. Admittedly done out of principle.

OurMiracle1106 · 28/08/2017 10:46

I am still Mrs married name 4 years on from my divorce. Found it easier than changing my name if I'm honest

nomoreheroesanymore · 28/08/2017 10:48

I didn't change my name when married, so still have my original name.

Kids have their dads surname - makes it a jot of difference - they are my kids regardless of their name.

As a teacher - the majority of kids now have different surnames to their mothers. It can never be assumed when you ring a parent that they have the same surname any more.

I guess everyone is different.

ChinkChink · 28/08/2017 10:56

I've gone back to Miss Maidenname. I used Ms Marriedname when I was married but got frustrated because so many people seem to believe 'Ms' = divorced.

That's a whole other thread though. Which I'm going to start.

BossyBitch · 28/08/2017 11:02

That's a whole other thread though. Which I'm going to start.
Oh please do! And then please print it out and send it to a certain financial institution ... coughbarclayscough ... for their information!

TittyGolightly · 28/08/2017 11:06

One of my colleagues is getting married in a few months, she's 30 and is looking forward to being called Mrs hisname surname.

I despair.