Dysfunctional FOO Bingo

[HilarysMantelpiece]

I am starting this thread for my own benefit.

I am choosing to attend a family-of-origin event/celebration this weekend for my nephew.
He is my godson and I am very fond of him.
In attendance (lets mark them off our cards) will be

• the golden child
• the child like parent
• the peacemaker
• the hero
• various other assorted family members, in-laws, etc.
• and me, the scapegoat.

For jollies (!) I am assembling a list of expected phrases, arguments, dramas, negativity, and events.
If I get a full card, I shall treat myself to the full bottle of gin that I shall secrete in my suitcase along with my ipad...(probably won't be full within an hour of arrival). Not to worry MN, I am a very chirpy drunk and it will, in fact, ensure that the whole ordeal is bearable.

1. I shall be the first to arrive and will be welcomed warmly....which will be the host's last words to me for the rest of the day.
2. "She always looks at me as if I was something she brought in on her shoe" (said about me)
3. "After all I've done for her" (ditto)
4. There will be at least one ambush where I am placed in a situation where previous arguments are re-hashed in front of an audience in such a way as to make me seem unreasonable.
5. Negative remarks about various celebrities, other people visiting, co-workers; no positivity or sense of buoying people up.
6. "I was only joking" response to someone's upset at their remarks.
7. At some point, I will be left with sole charge of the 15-20 children attending.
8. "You look lovely" accompanied by a once-over which gives the opposite message

Gosh, I'm at 8 and running out......

Was asked how I am voting and had my position attacked. Darn it. I have my opinion& am entitled to it without having to defend it
This is not robust debate we're talking about. This is full on"you're being ridiculous".

Gin ... slurp

Hilary I am rooting for you. Just remember that they do not define you in any way.

Get your score card out and keep your head held high

I'm with you Hilarys, keep going girl

I don't know why you're putting yourself through this! Couldn't you have arranged to go just for the event and then come away afterwards?

Thank you Rick & Steve. Soldiering on.

Blether.... yes, I don't have to be here.

But I have chosen to come for DN's sake. And that makes it bearable actually. I've chosen to be here.
In some ways is a case of doing something that I find really difficult-like doing couch to 5k.
MNing from the hall cupboard ( great wifi)

My boundaries are very strong now& I'm treating it as an exercise to see my weak points so I can work on them.

< Sees ongoing parallels with earlier military metaphors>

Stay strong, soldier!

I cna't keep score (the purgatory of preparing and running the childrens' party this weekend, arg) but how are you doing?!

pocket

meeka I'm doing fine.

Funny-Don't know if this fits with anyone else's experience?
I'm feeling unperturbed and unruffle-able
FOO must be able to sense this as there have been a few raiding parties along my borders but no incursions.

Perhaps if I drop my guard it'll start?

Stay strong!

And I hope you ran just a leeeeeeetle bit too fast for your family member this morning. :) then maybe said something along the lines of "well that was a nice little slow jog. I'll go for a proper run when I get home."

Mwahaha

hope you are still ok on the front there Hilarys

Skipton we are of one mind.
I asked him if he was ok as we went up hills.

Then as we got back to the house, he said something like"that was great-you'd probably have gone faster without me?"
The expected answer was "no no that was perfect".
Instead I did go back out once we got back.

Steve all is well so far. This thread has been great. I'm able to make light of it to myself without getting caught up in the power struggles.

I applaud you :)

Yes, it's immature, but sod it. You're in control.

All the power is with you this weekend!

"Are you ok Hilary... you seem very down".

I've been pulled aside. I'm not engaging with people as I used to.
NOTE : I am very pleasant & polite, no sulking or BS from me.

I know the details of everyone's job(I've asked) if children & significant others are well.

I'm just not fitting the usual role. Nor allowing myself to be slotted into any new one.

(name change but its still me) keep going girl!

hilarys did you forget the "you're not yourself" slot on the bingo if you don't play their game? Or did I just not notice it? :D

if they're saying that, they must be really annoyed you're not rising to them ;)

Just seen your thread and am sneaking behind enemy lines to wish you luck. Sounds like your arsenal (?!!) is fully loaded and you won't be collateral damage.

Need to busy myself around the barracks now but will return on a regular basis to ensure you are still repelling the enemy

At ease, soldier !

MNetters we are just home.
Thank you for your hand holding yesterday.
I felt a little foolish at times, MNing from the hall closet, but it gave me some detachment to not get hooked into dramas.

I'll be less apprehensive the next time. They're all planning a joint fun, family holiday in summer- lots of brochures of French villas; DSIL went with her family last year and convinced DB that we must do the same

Sadly, I will not be available having already committed to holiday plans but there's always hell next year.

Thank you and to all.

Glad you survived Hilary's, well done you

congrats on surviving hilary! I hope your godson had a good time.

now, breathe and reeeelaxxxxxx .... :)