What the fuck is love?

[listeningtomyheartorhead]

I dont mean in the philosophical, airy, fairy sort of way. I mean what does it look like practically. I feel so confused sometimes that my idea of what love is has been so messed up by romantic films and novels. I just feel constantly let down. All the people in my life that I love from my family members to my dc to my partner I both love and hate intensely at the same time some more than others (e.g. definitely love my kids more than the instances where I sometimes feel hatred towards them but my dad probably the other way round). Is that normal? I just want to hear others perspectives so I can see whether its me with the high expectations.

How I imagine love if i take all the best bits out of my relationships with others is:

Wanting the best for that person.
Being concerned about their welfare.
Having admiration and respect for them.
Taking pleasure in making them happy.
Enjoying their company above anyone else.
Being able to talk and have deep meaningful conversations.
Having similar goals and outlooks on life.
And with a romantic partner feeling sexually attracted to them.

listeningtomyheart I just went through your list and can honestly tick all of those boxes with my DH

And to add to it... The ability to laugh together. We have so much fun.

Heartsmile if you dont mind can i ask how long have you been together? Did you find sometimes these qualities decrease or increase in your relationship? For example i find i have less deep conversations with my dh compared to pre dc.

6 years so not all that long. You're right about having less deep conversations post DC, we have a 17 month old and definitely have less time and energy for it now. We usually have one evening a week where we'll stay up a bit later than usual and chat about anything and everything though. We've found it really tough having a young child and I'm pregnant again so I'm sure we've got many more difficult times to come but I still feel really secure if you know what I mean?