I don't ever want to have sex again with Dh.
It's never been especially good. We met when we were teenagers and so we were not very accomplished and made all our mistakes on each other then were stuck with them. 20 years on we rarely have sex and we never make any effort. I wouldn't want him to, I can't bear for him to touch me in a sexual way. We never talk about it any more. I wouldn't want to hurt him by voicing how I feel and I guess he doesn't want to hear it.
Last night I just had to ask him to stop, I just couldn't bear it. That has never happened before. I love him so much and I know the rejection must hurt him. Our marriage is fine in every other way.
I don't believe it's about rekindling intimacy, making time for our relationship/myself or any of those things. I just don't fancy him and I hate him using my body to masturbate in.
I value my marriage. Does this mean I have to have sex 'cause I can't any more. I just can't talk to anyone about this.